Happily married my ass bro, you're her open wallet and nothing more. You're just her little pogchamp. A pathetic simp she met online who was willing to pay her way for not even crumbs of pussy, just a live-in maid who can't cook and can't clean. I've said it a lot over the years but if you want to live your best life, stay in the closet, get a latina maid who comes over twice or three times a week to batch cook stuff and clean the house for a salary and that's that.
If you wanna appear as a succesful married man, kick the 'tismtouched potato to live with her sister in the streets, and get a Russian/Asian Mail Order Bride who's still young and hot. She'll fuck around on you just like Kat's doing, but she'll at least appear on stream and play you up in front of the audience because she'll not be retarded enough to not understand what the deal is. And she'll help milk your audience further, which by your own admission, WAS THE PLAN WITH KAT ALL ALONG. I've seen fairly good looking Asian women claim that they like their smack dab average fatwestern men because they're big and strong. You know it's about the money, everyone with half a brain knows, but like Big Pussy once said: "They know, but they DON'T know". They agreed to the terms and motherfucker, you better believe they will now dance the dance. Honor amongst thieves, grifters and scumbags.
A lot of them even stay loyal out of gratitude. Saying that being a passport bro rescuing bitches from the rice fields would be a straight, undeniable upgrade is a terrifyingly low bar to clear, but it's where we're at with Philip. For how much he played Captain-Save-A-Ho with Kat, she doesn't seem to be that grateful.
A trophy/beard/convenience wife needs to at least be willing to pretend that the marriage is going well in front of others every few weeks. You can't just come out in the open and let it be transparently clear to everyone watching that you're just taking this fucking fool for all he's worth. Doubly so if the guy you convenience married is a public person. It's a good thing for Kat that Phil is such an isolationist hermit. I know if a man in my circles was doing that I'd tell him that he's being a fucking idiot.
Wings pretty much told him that he NEEDS to make a show and tell of Kat if he wants to be taken seriously and Phil glossed it over. A good convenience wife would make it seem like the marriage is going great: And after all, if being a full time wife is your full time job and you get taken care of without having to bust your hump, I couldn't imagine it'd be too tough to make it seem like it's a good deal. Even working part time at Kroger's with a place to live in for free, access to a car, and all the basic bills paid is pretty damn good, considering what the alternatives are for benzo'd up BPD fat bitches with a criminal record.
She's utterly failed to sell this angle. Almost as if she didn't actually give a shit. Soon as she got her hooks in, she got Phil to put a ring on it for added financial safety, didn't stream, didn't contribute, I'm sure he pays on days out and the money she makes, by his own admission, is her money too. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, sure, but it's really funny to think that a career grifter got grifted this hard and this effectively by such a sub-par, demon-slaying, mental-issue enjoying, happy-pill-popping, potato-looking woman.
She has never put in even close to 10% of the bare minimum to sell this "Happily married" BS Phil's always yapping about. Honestly, I'm a little impressed by the massive brass balls she sports. Gold diggers normally pretend and try to sell the true, fulminating love at first sight angle at least a little bit. You just saw this pudgy, pale, patchy-bearded ghoul and your panties dropped so hard they drilled through the ground like in one of those Japanese animes. You didn't even know it was possible! But, as they say, love at first sight (Of the wallet) does truly exist.
Try to make her meal ticket look and feel good about himself, because it's in her best interest. It's the bare essentials. We know Phil has said Kat liked his unwashed Polish Plait and patchy goatee, but it doesn't work like that: Kat would have to come, on stream, and make a point of saying that and being all over Phil. We still remember her having to turn SSJ 2 to give him a peck on the cheek. We still remember how she dreaded being touched by the disgusting Pigroach. Kat, in all honestly, just couldn't be fucking bothered to put in even 1%. Certainly a bride fit for a Low Tier God. You'll pay my meals, you'll leave me alone, and you'll LIKE it, chief, she conveys every time she's on.
Their initial moving in together convo basically amounted to this:
"Hey dude my meal ticket kicked me to the curb and threw my shit on the street cause he caught me sexting with you. Pay for a motel for me or I'm out on the street. Oh, and prepare the plane tickets and to move my stuff to your place as well."
"Yes my sweet soulmate. Will we stream together when you come here? Will you cook and clean for me?"
"Yeah man, maybe, we'll see, for now just open up your wallet, 'kay? I can nuke your hungrymans if you keep paying, at least."
Phil begged up a storm during this time to fly Kat in. And as soon as she arrived at the Full Time Adult Household, it was over. Phil hasn't only spent hundreds of thousands on WWEC, he's probably spent at least tens of thousands on Kat and Kat related activities over the years since his Adult Marriage and he's got TWO AND A HALF streams out of it. Amazing return on investment, pigger.
My guy, if you had gone with the gold digging mail order asian/eastern euronigger, you could have at least blown her back out and I'm willing to bet they would have actually streamed and helped you milk the dents even harder. Instead you're paying a fat roommate's way for absolutely nothing. I understand that she's a convenient beard, but if you don't ever engage with her in public you might as well not bother. She's as good a beard as your patchy goatee. Hardly helping camouflage your slobbering, out of control BBC lust.
I don't think you get to laugh at Dale for living with another dude any more. Least you know they have separate spending accounts. Meanwhile you're out here pretending like you being taken for an extremely obvious, years long ride is the happiest marriage that has ever marriaged.
A frequent point of discussion is whether Phil is smarter or more cunning than he's letting on. The fact that he got grifted by Kat St. Jean of all people shows that hell no, he isn't, he just culls his audience until it's only retards who are actually dumber than him. Kat isn't even playing with a full deck of cards and she's now going on about 9 years of free room and board at Casa Del Cerdo? And Phil seems to be none the wiser. Then again, it could very easily be narcissistic self delusion.
Even when they talk off camera, Phil's trying to be funny by clownmoding it up and Kat's spectacularly short with him. That one encounter where he spilled water all over himself and sold it like it was the funniest thing to ever happen to a human and Kat just headshots the pigroach mercilessly with an "I don't care." Two inches short of "Just shut the fuck up already, you annoying manbaby. Stop talking to me. Just pay the bills."
It's how they're doing things that gives away the game. Kat working retail for minimum wage? She married the Pigroach. The Pigroach absolutely bots his streams. They could EASILY set up a Kick stream for Khet where all she does is play Animal Crossing poorly in perfect silence and she'd rake it in, JUST with the bots. She could do interviews. She could do demon slaying streams. If you have 1K viewers on Kick you can get 50 bucks an hour. Kick is much more about drama and much less about thottery. They're both leaving thousands on the table, and it'd be MUCH easier AND more profittable than working retail part time.
I would agree with Phil that Twitch has mostly devolved into softcore porn for teenagers, but Kick is the wild west, and I am CERTAIN Kat would do really well even if it's just vanilla Skyrim on Normal every day because of who she is and who she married. The dents would at least certainly leave her running in the background, and Kat could collect at the very least the hourly wage from Kick, from the comfort of her own home, without having to go out and deal with all those tire-stealing urban fent aficionados who hang out and vibe in front of Borgor Kang.
Even better: Don't want to have her build up her own TismInThePigroachRealm channel from the ground up? Just give her a pickaxe and shovel and send her in to the Dee Ess Puhgaming mines. Have her get in da awfiss, put on some shitty games and the DSPGaming emporium has a brand new shift to milk the dents in, while collecting DSP's own hourly from Kick, at literally no extra effort, no extra cost, and giving Khet a much easier ride than having to work a wagie job.
The smart thing to do would be to also monetize the day awff by assaulting an all you can eat place together camera in hand, but they're too pussy to do that because clearly they will get kidnapped and turned into whale blubber and gin-scented human fat candles respectively.
