DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Lady Adjani]

He just said Halo CE is "primitive" and that you can just run through the levels and the enemies run around confused. He has some of the most retarded takes I've ever heard

Looking forward to seeing him play it on legendary then

 

[InspiredReviewBrah]

Phil's not going away unless the whales totally leave. He might lose his mind first as he lives his miserable life of seething and coping, but he's not leaving that office unless they carry him out.

Additionally, DSP repeatedly had sub-$30 Yakuza streams and had something like five separate $0 streams like 3 years ago and outside of some exceptionally funny rants that aren't even half as sad and pathetic as the average DSP crashouts we get each week, he didn't indicate even remotely he was gonna leave.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

to be fair it does look like a lazy port though

I'll cut the piggy some slack, the AI in the classic MK games were all cheating, input-reading, quarter-munching pieces of shit. Which also makes me wonder why he didn't look up strats to exploit the AI for easy wins, or maybe he did and he just sucks at any fighting game that's not Street Beggar? I'll let you decide.

 

[thebigdream]

I caught my first Phil stream today and it was everything I wanted and more. Seeing clips on the Farms/Kino Casino gives you a sense of Phil at his worst/funniest, but seeing how tilted he gets about even the most benign aspects of a game is truly something special to behold. The animations were bad. The combos were bad. The inclusion of weapons in the franchise was bad. The CPU was cheating, The input was broken (at one point he showed his controller to the camera to prove it, and the input looked instantaneous, which was actually surprising given the potential for camera and stream delay). I get that people hate him for legitimate reasons, but being relatively new to his gimmick, I could only find it hilarious. What a regarded individual.

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

Additionally, DSP repeatedly had sub-$30 Yakuza streams and had something like five separate $0 streams like 3 years ago and outside of some exceptionally funny rants that aren't even half as sad and pathetic as the average DSP crashouts we get each week, he didn't indicate even remotely he was gonna leave.

Don't forget that during most of the Like A Dragon streams he got $0 during gameplay, which would be an immediate wagequit nowadays. It makes me wonder how post-KC Phil will handle the next Like A Dragon game, will he drop it and crash out or will he 100% it (and also crash out)?

 

[Balr0g]

Don't forget that during most of the Like A Dragon streams he got $0 during gameplay, which would be an immediate wagequit nowadays. It makes me wonder how post-KC Phil will handle the next Like A Dragon game, will he drop it and crash out or will he 100% it (and also crash out)?

The main charatcer is like him so he has to keep playing it frfrfr. and if you don't like it he mails you a spoon so you can eat shit out of his ass.

Just goes to show how mentally retarded he really is. Phil stopped developing at 12 or so. But hey at least we got a guy with an oddly shaped head to laugh at and most of the time HE delivers the rants / salt to laugh at. And what everyone is foregetting: yes he is hitting goals failry often. But those are everything combined. Before the mental breakdown that led to include everytrhiong into the goals he only counted tips. That's right, only tips. Now it's verything and Youtube especially takes a good chunk away. Imho his income is slowly shrinking and this might be the reason he begs so aggresively. He realizes that his way of life needs to be changed but he simply refuses to change. Instead he buys more shit. Although perhaps he is saving on food so that fat KIhet is slowly loosing weight again. After all doordash slob is more expensive then cooking. If they even cook, Keht isn't exactly known for her cooking skills

 

[Lando Griffin]

I think 2026 will be the End of Our King. Unless the Parents Die soon and he gets decent payday. The King is going to hit rock bottom in the next 8 months.

I am curious, what does a post-Phil Kiwi farms and internet look like? DSP no long streaming, inactive, due to any reason.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

-he'll piss away that money on God knows what
-he never escapes his economic hell

Spoiler alert, that money is going to Hogans, Doordash, and Klarna. The MOMENT that money hits his account, he's going on a spending spree he hasn't seen since he was on Machinima. Instead of taking fat Khat to Japan, it's going straight to Hogans, Alberto's, and Klarna brother.

Phil will never escape the hell he has created for himself. If you really think about it, this is ultimately want he wanted: pump out slop, maximum payday. However, the YouTube of old is forever gone and he still wants to be lazy and push out slop, hoping if all, someone notices and feels bad for Dave and gives them their money.

 

[McSneaks]

single player mortal kombat trilogy with unlimited continues, dying over and over and over to motaro and shao kahn with smoke

you might be surprised to hear his strategy is to use the same combo over and over

• the game dropped inputs
• the combo wont come out
• fireball spam
• the game doesnt work
• there was delay on his move
• shao kahn is using moves he's literally never seen before
• literally dropped input on continue
• the game cheats
• the game has no ruleset
• the game does what it wants
• there was nothing he could do

essentially mortal kombat legacy is broken and he can't believe they've put out another broken mess and the game sucks

to be fair it does look like a lazy port though

If he didn't say this exact same shit every single game he would have somewhat of a point this time. The game has input lag even in the menus, so pulling off proper combo's is way more fucked then it should be. Pretty much all the games play as bad as the gameboy ones. They're trying to rush out patches to fix a bunch of the games, but the fact that they failed to notice (or didn't care) that the fucking menu lags doesn't give much hope. Which is sad considering how much effort clearly went into everything non-gameplay related...

But there's 0% chance that's actually affecting him (or he even legitimately noticed) considering every game he has ever played is fundamentally broken on both a design and control level, specifically in ways that are completely unfair (against him) and put him at a constant, unescapable disadvantage. But since this is a guy known for his ability to pick up any game with any controller and instantly master it, and being one of the top ranked fighting game players in the universe, so it wouldn't take him more than 6.2 minutes to figure out the input issues and self-correct.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

I'll cut the piggy some slack, the AI in the classic MK games were all cheating, input-reading, quarter-munching pieces of shit. Which also makes me wonder why he didn't look up strats to exploit the AI for easy wins, or maybe he did and he just sucks at any fighting game that's not Street Beggar? I'll let you decide.

Because that would require a hint of research. Phil needs chat to hold his hand and to tell him the exploits in the classic MK and the strats. There's one dude on YouTube, his name is Darryl Tsung06, that's DAMN good at the classic MK's and actually breaks down the strats and exploits of the old games and how to exploit them. He's even admitted that MK2 is damn near impossible to beat without using strats or exploits - it CAN be done, but the AI is cheating son of a bitch. He can explain it better than I can, as I absolutely get OWNED in classic MK.

Even if Phil was able to look them up, he's gonna SCREW them up, do them HALF-ASS, and blame the person showing them the exploits and strats and claim they're "wrong.". When someone in chat tells them how to do it, he'll take credit.

Either way, Phil is a lazy dumb Polock LARPing as an Italian and Khat is fat.

 

[Pargon]

Theo theory: Phil has been losing his mind lately despite hitting goals because he is committing welfare fraud, and is upset his ill-gotten tugboat is being interrupted due to those morahns in congress

 

[Burl McMillan]

I am curious, what does a post-Phil Kiwi farms and internet look like? DSP no long streaming, inactive, due to any reason.

If there is one thing I'm 100% sure of it's that after we fill up the 4th DSP general thread, after KF is gone, after the internet is gone, after all the memories, seething, pointing and laughing, infighting, etc. if there is ANYONE who still recognizes DSP in the future, it'll be because he was the guy who jerked off on stream that one time.

 

[neger psykolog]

The timing of KC saga was annoying because for a brief time there in 2023-24, Phil was solidly under $100k/year and dropping. A couple months he was likely under $80k, and the line was nearing where this shit show could finally change.

He's still getting over $100k, and the process was delayed at least 2 years. At least we ended up getting some comedy out of this, but I'd still rather have the decline continue.

Don't forget! he gets a massive tax break because internet streamers are no longer taxed on tips.

 

[Very Honest Content]

the AI in the classic MK games were all cheating, input-reading, quarter-munching pieces of shit.

None of that matters, he's pressing down+back, in Mortal Kombat, and complaining it's bugged when he can't block doing just that. Street Fighter try-hards like pigroach were always those early games' favorite snack food, and Phil was, and remains, just that, all these years later, as evidenced by him getting boss bodied like a flabby bitch-titted effeminate cross dresser. He's fortunate there's no third dimension outside of easy mode stage specific fatalities for scrubs to have ones they can no-skill needed trigger too in those games.

He's even admitted that MK2 is damn near impossible to beat without using strats or exploits - it CAN be done, but the AI is cheating son of a bitch.

That game is all character tier choice, if you choose one of the two best, you are going to be fine since they are overpowered compared to the rest of the roster (but, not to each other, if you choose the second best one and have to fight the best one, you need to understand which moves are over valued outside special moves and which ones are not worth even trying in a healthy majority of situations, hint hint, Phil's pattern play is a bad idea in the game for a very specific reason but he'll never fix that problem because he's a no-load brainless masher who can't play classic fighters for shit outside of being above average at best in his Capcom playpen group of games that make him feel like he's reliving his wasted childhood). The AI doesn't even cheat as much as it forces you to know just what you should be doing and then being remorseless if you try and deviate from proper fight strategy against its better characters.

If you wonder why Phil sucks at Mortal Kombat, it's simple, he's a scrub that thinks his Street Fighter tendancies translate to another franchise, like expecting to play Sonic exactly like you would Super Mario Brothers then blaming the game when you get game over'd in the time it takes a sped runner to warm up in the sidescrolling platformer genre.

 

[Moar Krabs]

I am curious, what does a post-Phil Kiwi farms and internet look like? DSP no long streaming, inactive, due to any reason.

Probably the same as the KingCobra thread where this slowly becomes inactive and is reduced to one post a day

 

[Balr0g]

I am curious, what does a post-Phil Kiwi farms and internet look like? DSP no long streaming, inactive, due to any reason.

Probably the same as when Ralph or chris-chan are gone: another lolcow will take his place. Maybe Null will create a new section called "Lolcow legends" dedicated to those 3 (if Null is still there keeping the Farms alive)

 

[Shon&Saunders666420]

Probably the same as the KingCobra thread where this slowly becomes inactive and is reduced to one post a day

Probably, but Phil will not be remembered even an ounce as fondly as Cobes is, and one of his threads will not become pages upon pages of genuine grieving and tributes like Cobes thread has. To most people outside of the goutsphere, phil will be remembered for the fappening and some people may know about his massive ebegging and a few of his scams. Cobes and phil both were alcoholics and autistic, but that's about where the major similarities end. Cobes was not a complete garbage human like phil either of course.

 

[Twrx]

If all the whales died, and no one replaced them, and all the dents, both actual and larping dents (who really are just dents) vanished, he would give up everything in his life and beg on the streets before he even entertained the thought of getting an actual job.

 

[fresh pair of socks]

If all the whales died, and no one replaced them, and all the dents, both actual and larping dents (who really are just dents) vanished, he would give up everything in his life and *Make Khet and Jasper* beg on the streets before he even entertained the thought of getting an actual job.

FTFY

 

[Love Is Blue]

I am curious, what does a post-Phil Kiwi farms and internet look like? DSP no long streaming, inactive, due to any reason.

except no one is gonna miss this faggot when he finally drops dead