DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Big Brown Schlub]

Guys I think I figured out why Phil spouted those weird opinions about Hawaii, saying that it's not part of America and that people from Hawaii are immigrants, from Wikipedia (emphasis mine):
The Japanese in Hawaii (simply Japanese or “Local Japanese”, rarely Kepanī) are the second largest ethnic group in Hawaii. At their height in 1920, they constituted 43% of Hawaii's population. They now number about 16.7% of the islands' population, according to the 2000 U.S. Census. The U.S. Census categorizes mixed-race individuals separately, so the proportion of people with some Japanese ancestry is likely much larger.

As you can see, it's full of those slant-eyed woodwind-instrument-playing 1st-place-at-EVO-stealing piece of shit JAPS!

 

[Corpun]

Let me preface this by saying I have not played Elden Ring or any Dark Souls game, all I know is from descriptions of people shitting on Phil's gameplay here.

I'm watching this video @Memology 101 made of Phil fighting 'Mohg, the Omen'.
Phil keeps doing this super slow jump attack, even though it's not going to stagger the boss ever and doesn't give him a window to dodge unless his timing is perfect.
That's the only attack he does is this jump attack over and over even though it's so slow there is barely ever a safe attack window for it.

It never occurs to Phil to do a quicker attack so that he could get a strike in between all his dodges.

This boss is apparently casting some type of 'bleed magic'.
At no point does it occur to Phil that if he manages his bleed meter he can use some of the long casting animations as openings to attack.

I just haven't watched Phil play a game in a long time and forgot how incredibly retarded he is. It's this weird behavior combination of facetanking everything while also being a timid scared little bitch, like someone who acts over-the-top macho all the time to try and hide that they are actually terrified of everything.

That's pretty much every fight in this game for Phil. He has always and will always play games by bashing his head into a wall until it breaks.

He never looks around him, just zeroes on the boss like it is all that is on the screen. It's why he repeatedly makes the same mistakes of falling off cliffs or slamming into walls and complaining how that isn't fair, it wasn't his fault.

He will never properly play any game because of this brute force method he has of using one or two attacks where he can and cheesing a fight if he gets the chance. He is just lazy when it comes to stuff like that. The only reason he continues to play with this stupid power attack crab is because it worked before so it will work again in his brain. He can't read into patterns or do timing because he unintentionally handicapped himself with this mentality.

When any game gives him the chance to do the easy option he will take it, it is why every one of his Fallout playthroughs from the earliest to most recent all include a massive abuse of the VATs system instead of manually aiming to shoot shit because he can't be assed to bother.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Did Linda make Philly boy this thumbnail for the marathon stream? Unbelievable

Totally a mature adult. Not a children's entertainer.

 

[PetiteDragon43]

Totally a mature adult. Not a children's entertainer.

"Uhm... its called being an adult and still having fun."
i've never seen someone just NEVER act his age. Not like this. Like in terms of soyboy, arrested development DSP is Michael Jackson. That is to say his mannerisms are eyebrow raising. Maybe people have fun in different ways. But I'm in my early 20's and I'll be damned if someone in my age group had a banner like that, blew bubbles, used that party horn thing unironically, and did half the shit Phil does. Sorry for powerleveling. I'm just... stupefied.

 

[Hogan of the South]

When any game gives him the chance to do the easy option he will take it, it is why every one of his Fallout playthroughs from the earliest to most recent all include a massive abuse of the VATs system instead of manually aiming to shoot shit because he can't be assed to bother.

Which is why his fight with Ludwig in Bloodborne was so great. A boss designed around shit stomping bull headed idiots like Phil. You gotta really pay attention in that fight bc that Khat faced monster don’t give no shits about brute force

 

[Coke Zero]

"Uhm... its called being an adult and still having fun."
i've never seen someone just NEVER act his age. Not like this. Like in terms of soyboy, arrested development DSP is Michael Jackson. That is to say his mannerisms are eyebrow raising. Maybe people have fun in different ways. But I'm in my early 20's and I'll be damned if someone in my age group had a banner like that, blew bubbles, used that party horn thing unironically, and did half the shit Phil does. Sorry for powerleveling. I'm just... stupefied.

Phil went from acting like an edgy middle-schooler whose parents aren't home to a kindergartner in terms of his maturity/humor. Its crazy because the over the top birthday celebrations and bubbles and stuff like that is relatively new, like he just started behaving like that in the last few years. Like what adult male decides to start throwing himself birthday parties in his late 30s?

 

[gaarashatan]

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my mans delusional. severely lacking vitamin D and iron

 

[RaidenAUndertale]

Phil went from acting like an edgy middle-schooler whose parents aren't home to a kindergartner in terms of his maturity/humor. Its crazy because the over the top birthday celebrations and bubbles and stuff like that is relatively new, like he just started behaving like that in the last few years. Like what adult male decides to start throwing himself birthday parties in his late 30s?

It's weird but I have a theory: I think his whales put him up for this. They probably pay him behind the scenes to act as autistic as they do

 

[ParksydeDhil]

Phil went from acting like an edgy middle-schooler whose parents aren't home to a kindergartner in terms of his maturity/humor. Its crazy because the over the top birthday celebrations and bubbles and stuff like that is relatively new, like he just started behaving like that in the last few years. Like what adult male decides to start throwing himself birthday parties in his late 30s?

Well I mean who else is gonna throw philburt a party? His parents barely knowledge his existent and he's got no friends. Well the horse, is a horse, Piggy even said she once just sat and stared at the sour cream on a bake potato.

 

[PetiteDragon43]

Phil went from acting like an edgy middle-schooler whose parents aren't home to a kindergartner in terms of his maturity/humor. Its crazy because the over the top birthday celebrations and bubbles and stuff like that is relatively new, like he just started behaving like that in the last few years. Like what adult male decides to start throwing himself birthday parties in his late 30s?

Well I mean who else is gonna throw philburt a party? His parents barely knowledge his existent and he's got no friends. Well the horse, is a horse, Piggy even said she once just sat and stared at the sour cream on a bake potato.

I'm starting to think Phil was the kid who never got invited to a party. Or never hosted one himself as kid. Thats why I was making the Michael Jackson comparison. He's making up for lost time.
That Or he hosts these WEEK long birthday parties so no one forgets him. Like Parksyde was saying no one in real life seems to give a fuck about him. All he has are disembodied voices behind a screen and video games.

 

[Tom Went To The Mayor]

I'm not at the places that unlock after defeating Morgott yet, but I hope they got some good stuff that can punish Phil's cheesing, maybe even give us some FromSoftware salt, but if there's one thing DSP is good at nowadays, it's finding ways to disappoint.

 

[Hogan of the South]

It's weird but I have a theory: I think his whales put him up for this. They probably pay him behind the scenes to act as autistic as they do

I disagree only in regards to the evidence that he’s continually regressing mentally and physically over years. We knew he was dumb and full of shit but it’s exponentially grown worse with age

Counter theory: he’s always been Autistic it’s just growing

 

[Wasabi Panda]

Sooo...Am I the only one thinking hes going to rage quit on Malenia?

Eh it depends, I have an odd feeling he's going to "forget" about her or skip her entirely. I had no idea where she was, I got to the end and thought she was part of the 3 bosses you fight back to back to back...like drake you know cause she's promoted heavily on all the marketing. She wasn't, she's off in east jesus no where with some long path to get to her.

Spoiler: What I can see happening

he gets annoyed getting to the small town that has the portal to the area before the legacy dungeon and falling to his death in the snow cause "Where do I go, what is a map" then saying fuck this I don't care and moves on to the end of the game.

Makes it to the portal puzzle, gets annoyed complains about how this isn't zelda and you shouldn't have to do a puzzle, how can you defend against an invisible enemy, the snipers are hitting him with bullshit arrow, "I'm not continuing till someone tells me where the lights are" then says it's bullshit and wants to progress the story the mountain is bullshit insert opinions about unbalanced endgame he read on twitter as his own take. Moves on without fighting her cause at this pace this playthrough will have LONG overstayed it's welcome.

If he makes that far complains about crystal women, tanky mages and falling off branches. Getting through her dungeon is going to be a stream and a half as he'll get lost, die to stupid and complain then finally get to her.

He'll get uncomfortable at he stage transition since she gets naked with "barbie details" and has more of a fit body, he'll get the feelings Abby gave him like when he was in the hotel room with john and that may throw him off insert some high horse moral nudity is bad and cheap edgy crap "not gay" rant

Then again he'll have a particular OP weapon that a +10 is lololol bosses weak to fire, looking at his build he seems to be stating for it.

the mountain area will get to him since it's where the game's balance goes a little dent head add that to how long the playthrough has gone on with tips starting to dry up, he'll just be a whiney toxic cry baby for the rest of the playthrough.

EDIT - I just saw the memology vid and he got 4 shot by the ogre looking fuckers in the sewers just trying to unga jump but no unga dodge them, yeeeeah the mountain tops are going to be fun.

Yeah he seems to have an already up to snuff plan here already in case anyone who doesn't know or realize. I mean it was obvious day 1 with the golden halberd nonsense.

Spoiler: Elden Ring stuff.

Here is his character now. Notice the Jump cape and omenkiller mask? Yeah it's a bad Photo.
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Spoiler: Character

Lmao fucking got ya. It's actually Asmons. Weird how similar they are huh? Yeah this nigga is just a copycat. He is offering NOTHING different than what others are already doing and are way better at their job, and do NOT take months to complete the game.
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Here is his actual character.
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And you might be saying "Hey Skippy, maybe he figured out it was very good just by playing and BRaaaaaaaaaap fpfafpffpfaaaaaart pfpt~". Good counterpoint but its just a bunch of farting for the sake of arguing. I don't need to present anymore evidence on the very obvious guide reading. Let's not forget, he watches the "pros" and they say it's alright to be a complete faggot, so there you go *snort*.

WAIT! Is asmongold the dark souls pro he talks about?

 

[Kosher Dill]

It's weird but I have a theory: I think his whales put him up for this. They probably pay him behind the scenes to act as autistic as they do

No whale has ever done anything interesting.

 

[TheTractor]

DSP will get filtered by Elden Ring eventually: Some late game bosses are absolutly garbage and unfair, he will need massive cheese and good RNG to somehow progress.

Seeing him struggle that much vs Virgin Mohg version in the sewers doesn't paint a pretty picture of things to come.

 

[strandedcastaway]

Nothing about Phil's behavior makes any sense. Imagine being a new viewer who knew nothing about Phil.

If you put his stream on recently, you'd see children's birthday decorations. If Phil gets money early, you might see him blowing noisemakers, blowing bubbles, getting ready to play kids' games. You figure, okay, this looks really dumb but the streamer must be a light-hearted, funny guy. This could be silly fun.

Then the pale ghoul on the stream opens his mouth. He's immediately whining about having to do his taxes, about the "mentally ill morons" who mock him, telling viewers to fuck off, endlessly criticizing anyone who isn't him, all while burping and snorting right into the mic. This drags on endlessly before he finally plays video games in the most boring manner possible. And look, a few idiots have already given him $150 for doing so! And now he's bringing out gay vests, and Pokemon and Nazi hats to throw on his greasy, balding head. And still begging for more "support".

You close the stream and go outside for a while to try to forget the horrors you've seen.

 

[TJGamebox]

Really hard working on those taxes

 

[Hogan of the South]

Really hard working on those taxes

Look I don’t buy that that’s Phil why would he lie about taxes and instead play his favorite wwe game? It just doesn’t make sense!

You have zero proof that’s him! No matter how many times you match up the name or time frames in which he plays, it just doesn’t make sense! Shame on you all!

Definitely not sarcastic!

 

[Iron Hamster]

Nothing about Phil's behavior makes any sense. Imagine being a new viewer who knew nothing about Phil.

If you put his stream on recently, you'd see children's birthday decorations. If Phil gets money early, you might see him blowing noisemakers, blowing bubbles, getting ready to play kids' games. You figure, okay, this looks really dumb but the streamer must be a light-hearted, funny guy. This could be silly fun.

Then the pale ghoul on the stream opens his mouth. He's immediately whining about having to do his taxes, about the "mentally ill morons" who mock him, telling viewers to fuck off, endlessly criticizing anyone who isn't him, all while burping and snorting right into the mic. This drags on endlessly before he finally plays video games in the most boring manner possible. And look, a few idiots have already given him $150 for doing so! And now he's bringing out gay vests, and Pokemon and Nazi hats to throw on his greasy, balding head. And still begging for more "support".

You close the stream and go outside for a while to try to forget the horrors you've seen.

Does Phail have the balls to label his garbage as 'made for kids'?

 

[Tom Went To The Mayor]

Then the pale ghoul on the stream opens his mouth. He's immediately whining about having to do his taxes, about the "mentally ill morons" who mock him, telling viewers to fuck off, endlessly criticizing anyone who isn't him, all while burping and snorting right into the mic. This drags on endlessly before he finally plays video games in the most boring manner possible. And look, a few idiots have already given him $150 for doing so! And now he's bringing out gay vests, and Pokemon and Nazi hats to throw on his greasy, balding head. And still begging for more "support".

Not to mention his voice. Weirdly high-pitched, whiney tone, the constant uptalk, and just generally sickly and scratchy sounding.