DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[IHateMyJob]

Ok so by Sanitation Policy the city of Renton provides compost containers for every household in the city for mandatory composting ( we have that here now in Edmonton as well ).

Blue = Recycling
Grey = Garbage
Green = Compost

Phil refuses to compost because he doesn't like the smell, even though he could just keep the compost container outside and dump is food and other perishables in there and not have to worry about it.

Porceeds to toss everything in to the garbage disposal and down the drain and plugs it. G FUCKIN G Phil. They offer you free compost collection and you refuse because your gouty ass is too lazy to take the compost outside. Get fucked Phil, you got what you deserved.

He "doesn't like the smell" yet he hoards cat shit in his garage till he can make a trip to the dump. The lazy fuck probably makes his horse drag the trash cans to the curb too.

 

[actually]

I think this fucker felt a tiddy last night because he is awfully chipper atm.

Only if you count his own.

 

[JimiHendrix]

Spoiler: c foo finale

phil is going on about how he's been handheld on how to beat the stage 4 boss super easy. this game changing advice broke down to "hit the bitch"

phil is getting beat up and says it sucks that he can't do, and i quote, "the dadges"

he's giving some mean gamer face right now.

phil does not understand the point of resetting the death counter because it's not an age reset.

man really doesn't get the benefit of going into a boss at 0 deaths as opposed to 8 deaths.

phil is patting himself on the back pretty hard because he beat the easiest boss in the game without dying a single time after an hour of practice.

I beat her the first time I saw her without a death. Just rush her down.

phil has entered the final level. he is also going on about how much he loves the game.

"it's never explained why he resurrects, it's just a game mechanic but has no explanation"

mans a fucking moron, does he think the chain of medallions on the death screen is just to look pretty?

going on break right before the final boss.

phil has finally reached Yang, the final boss.

phil straight up admitting that when he doesn't understand something he gets angry and lashes out.

phil is trying to use focus attacks on the boss. Yang is immune to all focus attacks.

Yang is slapping the absolute dick off Phil.

Phil made it to phase 2 at 52.

phil has just now, after how many hours in this game, found out the pendant is what is making Sifu revive.

phil managed to beat Yang by abusing the sweep counter over and over, but that's fine.

phil has beaten Sifu with the bad ending.

he's going for the perfect ending now and it's just kinda boring.

"It's giving them artificial hits"

as opposed to the real hits I just saw you get to the face.

getting bodied by third boss.

"this is fucking bullshit, you can't parry or dodge nothing, it just doesn't work."

think it's pretty safe to say phil won't be getting the true ending anytime soon, this third boss is working him over.

phil was told about what appears to be a glitch so he can reset his age each level, so he's just kinda brute forcing the bosses with age.

I exited out the video because I don't want to see the true ending right now but ya, big thanks to whatever retard told him about that glitch in his chat.

that's the end. it's not as elaborate as my usual posts because

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Just found out what the problem in Little Phil's Big Valentine's Day Off was and I have no idea how he managed to fall short and exceed my expectations at the same time. Buying your SO flowers shows you're "lazy" because you buy them at the last moment? What the fuck? And this was moments before he admitted that he bought chocolate last minute. And then he didn't even attempt to take the horse out somewhere nice, the robust'n'romantic dinner was Doordashed slop...

At this point I highly doubt that he even goes out alone to "run errands" (read: buy microwavable slop, gin'n'itunes cards for gacha) and just has it all delivered as well. If he won't even bother doing something he enjoyed which is going around restaurants to D'VOUR food then he sure as shit isn't waddling around stores or malls anymore either.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

I popped in his stream when I got home from work and how the fuck did he beat sifu, this dumb fuck doesn't understand the basic concepts of the game.

He didn't know how to increase tension
He didn't know what "as long as you don't kill him" means
He didn't know that the stages save your age that you started the stage from
He didn't know if you go back to the first stage only the perm unlocked stuff stays something it tells you EVERY SINGLE TIME you go back to a stage before your current one
He didn't know to avoid getting backed into a corner and it's the game's fault he gets backed into a corner
He didn't know that the power-up cannon fodder isn't one set mob
He didn't know how focus worked
He keeps asking what to do now over EVERYTHING
He doesn't know in the drug room in the first stage you can take out half the people before starting the actual encounter
and he's mashing, like going back to the first boss he does a parry, dodge, and focus mode one after another when the boss was nowhere near him

This is all after he beat the game, how? Oh and he has a smug look on his face too,

Like are we still arguing if this man is an idiot or not cause this post game sifu playthrough has determined that is a lie or he's like the greatest performance artist ever.

 

[gettingthatgrooveback]

Man, their Valentine's dinner sounded so romantic, I'm jealous.
Khet was eating by herself as Phil was fighting the food waste disposal.

 

[KKKrèmebrûlée]

Man, their Valentine's dinner sounded so romantic, I'm jealous.
Khet was eating by herself as Phil was fighting the food waste disposal.

I guess that's the problem with being isolated from people for so long. Phil probably thinks that made him sound like a dedicated mature adult that'll sacrifice his pleasure for his wife. When in reality it paints him like a retard that can't do basic tasks.

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

 

[Optimus Prime]

Does this fucker not even know

No.

If you have to ask if Phil knows, the answer is no.

While the rant valentine rant was good the one that really got was the cyberpunk one....
He gets so much pleasure from being over the top vitriolic because he didnt like a videogame

He just likes shitting on things and generally being mean.

I popped in his stream when I got home from work and how the fuck did he beat sifu, this dumb fuck doesn't understand the basic concepts of the game.

He didn't know how to increase tension
He didn't know what "as long as you don't kill him" means
He didn't know that the stages save your age that you started the stage from
He didn't know if you go back to the first stage only the perm unlocked stuff stays something it tells you EVERY SINGLE TIME you go back to a stage before your current one
He didn't know to avoid getting backed into a corner and it's the game's fault he gets backed into a corner
He didn't know that the power-up cannon fodder isn't one set mob
He didn't know how focus worked
He keeps asking what to do now over EVERYTHING
He doesn't know in the drug room in the first stage you can take out half the people before starting the actual encounter
and he's mashing, like going back to the first boss he does a parry, dodge, and focus mode one after another when the boss was nowhere near him

This is all after he beat the game, how? Oh and he has a smug look on his face too,

Like are we still arguing if this man is an idiot or not cause this post game sifu playthrough has determined that is a lie or he's like the greatest performance artist ever.

As pointed out before your post (which you probably didn't see so not your fault), Phil was told of a glitch that basically resets the age counter and thus he was free to brute force the game virtually penalty free.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

A moment of silence to remember the kitchen that was covered in drain slop and Burnell phecal matter after Phil's 'unclogging'

We remember you as you were.

 

[BlackDragoons]

As pointed out before your post (which you probably didn't see so not your fault), Phil was told of a glitch that basically resets the age counter and thus he was free to brute force the game virtually penalty free.

NoEthicsPhil at it again, cheating the game like he cheats his viewers.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Ok so by Sanitation Policy the city of Renton provides compost containers for every household in the city for mandatory composting ( we have that here now in Edmonton as well ).

Blue = Recycling
Grey = Garbage
Green = Compost

Phil refuses to compost because he doesn't like the smell, even though he could just keep the compost container outside and dump is food and other perishables in there and not have to worry about it.

Porceeds to toss everything in to the garbage disposal and down the drain and plugs it. G FUCKIN G Phil. They offer you free compost collection and you refuse because your gouty ass is too lazy to take the compost outside. Get fucked Phil, you got what you deserved.

Remember: he's a gamer. He doesn't have time for things like this.

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Just found out what the problem in Little Phil's Big Valentine's Day Off was and I have no idea how he managed to fall short and exceed my expectations at the same time. Buying your SO flowers shows you're "lazy" because you buy them at the last moment? What the fuck? And this was moments before he admitted that he bought chocolate last minute. And then he didn't even attempt to take the horse out somewhere nice, the robust'n'romantic dinner was Doordashed slop...

You should buy flowers a week in advance mate, every bird loves getting decaying roses on Valentine's day. You also want to make sure she gets really wet yeah? Order Door Dash cocker.
Why the fuck book a table and take your missus out? Why should I waste a hundred quid just to get some awful tenner chocolate in return? She has to come home with me anyway since we live together. Just order some Maccies and watch her play Skyrim for the twentieth time.
I wish I was as alpha as Phil, he has this adult life and loving relationship figured out. He's on his NG+ while I'm still booting up the tutorial.

Mate the fat git even fucked up her bloody birthday gift if I remember correctly, didn't he?
I know we all want to bully Katherine, but Phil already does it for us lads.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

@Optimus Prime

quoting is being...exceptional so. Wow, that explains it and ofc he took advantage of it. He really is like a gaming journalist he makes fun of, like when PC gamer bragged about cheating to beat seikiro.

anywho catching Shinko's stream and phil is an idiot, I know. I know. Apparently he's a time traveler. Game Journalists agree with what he said 5 years ago about a game that comes out this week and how he said it feels to play it, 5 years ago yet when given advice on when he plays he says he talks down to his little paypig with that arrogance chuckle saying he hasn't played yet.

So 5 years ago he knew how a game that is coming out in a few days and was announced 5 years ago plays but don't give him suggestions because he hasn't played it yet.

It's like the little Indian dude in temple of doom who just said his lines phonetically, no idea what he was saying just that he was making noises someone on set told him to make that happened to be english words

 

[KKKrèmebrûlée]

Mate the fat git even fucked up her bloody birthday gift if I remember correctly, didn't he?
I know we all want to bully Katherine, but Phil already does it for us lads.

The Burger King incident happened on her birthday. He originally wanted to go to a diner that reminded him of one his mom took him to but it was way too busy so they ended up going to Burger King. Nothing but the best for his soulmate.

 

[Lazycunt]

Phils saying FPS over graphics is beyond hilarious, this is the tard who always mention graphics first when talking about any game and will turn away from any game that does not have "modernized graphics"

As for "bow mechanics". This is just Phil trying to articulate something and deciding to try and sound smart.

I found this little gem on Twitter that can be applied to any and all of Phils Tweets:
Ver archivo adjunto 2986103

I don't think phill could even tell the different between 60fps and 240fps

 

[Exceptional Chimp]

He pays enough for her companionship, why not? it's probably written explicitly into their marriage contract that he periodically gets some kind of obligatory physical contact as long as he keeps paying all the billz dood.

Yeah right. He more the "frank and beans" type of guy, all that talk about things up asses and what not...

Most likely the "marriage" was never consumated.

 

[UnexplodedPrinny]

After seeing his new pokemon intro clipped by an1337 (big ups!) I really hope that this intro and the Skyrim ones are made by real honest fans, cause it would be way funnier if this was the mental prowess of his fanbase at full display here.
Either way, no matter how low quality, If it’s free he’s gonna use it.

 

[Full Race Replay]

Don't forget the most romantic part of phil and khet's day together...Phil watched Kat play skyrim! Holy shit he couldn't even make up anything more romantic then that...

I wonder if phil thinks his fans are girls who watch him the same way he watches kat, like he's some sort of sex god who other people watch because they feel a deep romantic connection to him.

 

[Joshuan Moon]

Ok so by Sanitation Policy the city of Renton provides compost containers for every household in the city for mandatory composting ( we have that here now in Edmonton as well ).

Blue = Recycling
Grey = Garbage
Green = Compost

Phil refuses to compost because he doesn't like the smell, even though he could just keep the compost container outside and dump is food and other perishables in there and not have to worry about it.

Porceeds to toss everything in to the garbage disposal and down the drain and plugs it. G FUCKIN G Phil. They offer you free compost collection and you refuse because your gouty ass is too lazy to take the compost outside. Get fucked Phil, you got what you deserved.

I just listened to the rant and now I have come to better understand his food and "food disposal" related autism that has fascinated me for some time. The guy dumps literally all of his food waste down the garbage disposal not because it is required but because he is fucking lazy and in the most retarded way.

So his day off routine is to go and do adult grocery shopping, on his own because Kat can't be trusted, to buy custom gourmet frozen meals. Upon coming home, he may or may not use a handcart to bring his groceries in and immediately proceeds to cut up every single vegetable (because he has zero time to slice up a vegetable when it is needed and only has time on his day off and can never spare an extra 60 seconds when making a sandwich)

The cut up vegetables rot faster than they would if left whole and since he over shops (because he has the mindset that mature adults need to buy a family sized shopping for a DINK household that orders delivery more in a month than I have eaten out in three years) he is left with excessive amounts of unused rotting food and excessive amounts of fresh new food to replace it. Together with any delivery food he didn't immediately shove down the food disposal he dumps last week's entire fridge contents down the sink. He frames this as if he is required to but really he does this because he is too lazy to throw away the food waste properly.

To be fair, Phil does live in a middle unit condo ruled by an HOA; the very one that prohibits him from being able to have an effective window AC unit in his office. HOAs almost always prohibit having visible bins except on pick-up day so his options are to keep the food waste bucket in the garage or on his patio. He claims that this would be smelly so he doesn't use the compost and opts for clogging his pipes. True, there might be a bit of a smell but I believe the real reason is a consequence of his laziness and agoraphobia.

Phil explains in his rant that he has a communal compost bin at the end of the street, so there is zero reason he has to collect a week's worth of rotten food in his garage. All he has to do is take the food waste to the bin every other day and give his bucket a rinse off once in a while. He could even hold onto the smelly stuff in the fridge until the end of the week and take it all at once. Instead he chooses to waste water to smash it down the sink and let it be the water treatment plant's problem as the lazy way out. But there is one even lazier option... he could just put the food waste in the trash anyway. Nothing is physically stopping him; well nothing externally anyway, The reason he can't do this is again due to his lazy habits, He only gets trash pick-up every other week but he is constantly eating off paper plates and ordering takeout in disposable containers and buying junk he doesn't need full of packaging that gets thrown out. The amount of garbage he generates is precisely why municipalities implement these garbage separation policies to discourage you from throwing away so much shit that takes up limited landfill space.

Also honorable mention to using a shit covered toilet plunger to clear a sink clog in a food prep area. Usually its people using a red sink plunger on a toilet clog and wondering why it sucks. Can't say I've ever heard it go the other way around before. Besides, what happened to the gimmick compressed air plunger? I bet it would have worked better..... at spraying shit water all over his kitchen.