🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[GaryGrey]

It was mentioned on the Flamanco steam with Gator that Ralph really does have the hood rich mindset. Anytime his bank account has more than $1k he is going to burner it hard and fast. This level of not understanding money is astounding. Rough estimates say a kid from 0-18 will run $400k. For Ralph that might as will be infinite money. During Ralph's extermination stream he mentioned loosing debit/credit cards. The debit card is his but wonder if the credit card is in the name of Peaceful Sunset Productions? This could be the first time in Ralph's life he has credit card.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

JCaesar187 has given up on Rome shortly after being betrayed by his manservant.

The closest Ethan will ever get to ancient Roman ruins is the tacky plaster reproductions in Vegas.

He was in Europe, Portugal and a train ride from Spain yet he never visited one Cathedral, Roman ruin or any historically significant sites.

He went to BK then the next night decided to go get wasted in the part of town with hookers and dirtbags like himself. Got his ass whooped bad, hospital, some guy’s mom’s house, humiliation stream and now on his final day some boring boat ride. He will see more of Lisbon on the boat ride than he’s seen his entire trip.

I like to think I have a sense of humor, being on this site and all, but is he trying to be funny? Has he rounded that corner and submitted to self-deprecation in order to beat the haterz to it and cut his losses at long last? Did he finally figure out that caffeine exists, in the form of espresso, and realize it’s the cleanest, best pleasure?
Also lol at the polo mumu. Get with it ralph real ballerz wear izodz n shit.

No, he’s being serious and that’s why Ralph has become such an epic cow.

If he was trying to be funny he’d take his sunglasses off, put on that fedora and own this incredible trainwreck of a vacation. He’d go pose around Lisbon as “the fat beaten American” and let people take mock photos of kicking his ass.

Instead he puts on his big sunglasses to hide his Quasimodo face, gets his best Gunt hiding hoodie for the cold ass tour boat and asks for some grandma to take his photo with a fucking champagne flute like he’s taking a pleasure cruise on yacht during his fabulous European vacay.

If Ralph had any sense of humor about his stupidity or didn’t have a bizarre sense of totally unmerited self-importance he’d just be a sad cow or people wouldn’t bother mocking him.

He’s the best black comedy because he’s incredibly stupid, but thinks he’s brilliant and has this giant sense of self-importance that is the most vital ingredient in someone being really fun to mock.

 

[MoeChotto]

Veni, Vidi, Vici​

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CHEERS, ALOGS!

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1489213626489708544

You can see where his sagging gunt is filling the jacket in the second photo. It's wrapped up and around like he's hiding a garbage bag full of pudding inside it.

And god damn this mf is pasty, the camera won't even register the skintone on those stubby meatclaws

 

[Twinkletard]

You can take a man's purse, but you can't take away his dignity.

 

[MeltyTW]

Veni, Vidi, Vici​

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CHEERS, ALOGS!

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1489213626489708544

Finally an activity, an honest actual fucking thing that he has done that isn't consuming, well he's still consuming but fuck he did something

 

[Davis O'Shaughnessy]

Thanks to the Kiwi who Made the gunt platter edit for the Inspiration!

 

[Sinpie]

Thanks to the Kiwi who Made the gunt platter edit for the Inspiration!

Could do with being a bit smaller, and cropped on the top, because it takes up two screen heights. Good picture though. I was going to say "better tweet this at him so that he seethes at it" but we all know he reads all these threads more religiously than he's ever read the bible.

Edit: I see you made it smaller, good job fam! It's fucking gross but at the same time... magnificent!

 

[Davis O'Shaughnessy]

Could do with being a bit smaller, and cropped on the top, because it takes up two screen heights. Good picture though. I was going to say "better tweet this at him so that he seethes at it" but we all know he reads all these threads more religiously than he's ever read the bible.

uploaded from smartphone so the scale was fucked, hope it's better now. Also i wonder how long it will take for him to stop using "5StarDays" if i keep this up lol:

Spoiler: Shameless plug

https://twitter.com/FiveStarDays51

 

[Swirling weeb]

Please gods let the fat wigger try to stowaway his way back to the states I wanna see how he does at sea

 

[Dead Wife]

He looks freezing on that choppy water LOL.
He also needs to clean under his nails, it kind of takes away from the ‘glamour‘ of the cheap cava - the absolute tramp.

 

[GL09]

Ralph is too late. The Portuguese already liberated him from his possessions. Then they went on to liberate his face for good measure.

 

[TakeSoma]

As a Portuguese, I can only think that Ralph main purposes while visiting Portugal were none other than getting away from his pregnant woman, piss Andy (another retard), and claim that he has been to Europe.

A quick search on a site like Tripadvisor would have have gave him some hints on what to do, where to eat, how to deal with locals, etc. But no, he couldn't care less. Instead, he got beat up (after leaving a Cuban bar drunk and talking shit to locals) and did nothing but staying at his hostel room posting shit on Twatter.

If it wasn't for the fact I know and work a lot with Americans - a people I'm very fond of and really like and admire (not the American government, fuck it, but US people and government are two very distinct entities), I would probably gave cred to many stereotypes that many Europeans have regarding Americans.

 

[SargonF00t]

These kinds of trips to Portugal is what Ralph should have done with Pantsu before Pantsu gives birth, if Ralph gave a fuck about his horse.

It will be a lot harder to visit places and freely explore for Pantsu, after the foal arrives.

 

[Retink]

I'm just saying one of these is not like the other.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

First, fucking gross dude, how old are you? How do you walk out the door like that? Imagine the state of the rest of him- teeth, ears, toes, the various creases. You are nasty Ralph.

Next, his nose IS fucked. Also I spy Serge! Or Sergio’s mom. Come talk to us when Ralph gives you back your phone.

 

[High Tea]

... where the fuck is this money coming from? No, seriously. Is he using credit cards or something? Even taking into account that we know he’s barely been paying his co-hosts, we’ve seen his paypigs slowly drying up. And future prospects don’t look much better there.

... Then again, Ralph has repeatedly shown himself to not be fiscally responsible, so I can’t say I’m actually shocked.

He said in his Portugal stream his manpurse credit cards were stolen but he had more credit cards at home and was able to access money from them.

 

[Twinkletard]

First, fucking gross dude, how old are you? How do you walk out the door like that? Imagine the state of the rest of him- teeth, ears, toes, the various creases. You are nasty Ralph.
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Next, his nose IS fucked. Also I spy Serge! Or Sergio’s mom. Come talk to us when Ralph gives you back your phone.
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That's dirt from the ground the night he was crawling to the hospital

 

[Zoids Fan 025]

He said in his Portugal stream his manpurse credit cards were stolen but he had more credit cards at home and was able to access money from them.

I mean... that’s not what I meant, but that does answer my question. Oh god in heaven, all of this is on credit. Where is the Gunt meant to get the money to pay for this shit? I’m not even talking potential stuff, like if Faith actually manages to get any child support payments, but just ‘paying for all the gambling he does, his shiny new truck, everything involving Portugal, living expenses, dealing with a new baby and the horse being unable to work for at least a bit’.

Sure, maybe DSP has shown that literally anyone can successfully file for bankruptcy... but even then, that’s just getting rid of his debt, not making likely increasing dwindling funds coming in any better able to support him. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this’ll ruin him, but it’s definitely not fucking wise, I’ll say that much.

 

[♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️]

Congratulations Ethan Oliver Ralph! You've managed to take a trip worse than Miami on a solo playthrough...

 

[MoeChotto]

Sure, maybe DSP has shown that literally anyone can successfully file for bankruptcy... but even then, that’s just getting rid of his debt, not making likely increasing dwindling funds coming in any better able to support him. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this’ll ruin him, but it’s definitely not fucking wise, I’ll say that much.

Ralphamale would never PUSSY OUT and file bankruptcy like DSP, who's too afraid of a little debt collection to pony up. He's gonna take his consoomer debt with him all the way to the grave like the Chandler family, because that's what a MAN does!!!