World Leaders who are Lolcows

[thisighuf]

Kevin Baugh who leads the great nation of Molossia

 

[Jewthulhu]

All of them

 

[MAPK phosphatase]

Nero
- Became emperor at 16
- Neckbeard
- Incompetent and Irresponsible
- Talked a lot about providing for the public good but mostly just indulged in his own pleasures
- Killed his mother
- Fancied himself a great artist but would constantly embarrass himself
- Kept falling for various cults
- Eventually everyone had enough of his shit and conspired against him (he had a ton of enemies)
- His guard and "friends" abandoned him when they saw the writing on the wall
- Committed suicide

 

[Space Cooter]

Erdogan. Biden/trump. Trudeau. Putin. Kim. Maduro. Bolsonaro. Off the top of my head. Sure there are plenty more.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

No mentioning of Bunga Bunga Party Lord himself, Silvio Berlusconi? For shame.

And for dead ones it is hard to top Idi Amin.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Gadaffi and his squadron of elite protection virgins.

 

[Ed Special]

Literally everyone in power in the rainy miserable shithole that is the United Kingdom... seriously, show me a MP and I'll show you a retard who thinks 1984 was a How-To Guide.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Tony Blair - Huge cow potential while in office and out of office.
Any French politician - not only are they French but they chose to become Politicians to boot thus compounding the error.
Boris Johnson - Guy's a legitimate embarrassment as a politician and a human being, he doesnt even know how many kid's he has himself.
Historically - Clement Atley.

 

[Ike Aim]

Gadaffi and his squadron of elite protection virgins.

He was a world treasure and an example for us all despite years of embargo and isolation leaving him with somewhat of a weak bench. Evidently, all these girls got hunted down and btfo after his regime fell.

 

[Easterling]

idi amin, 'The last true king of scotland, his Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular' affectionatly known as 'dr jaffa' in saudi arabia on account of eating almost exclusively oranges during his exile. He was alleged to be a cannibal and was responsible for the estimated deaths of 350,000 to 500,000 deaths from ethinic and political purges during his rule.

 

[Montalbane]

Berlusconi was a chad.
Call merkel an unfuckable landarse
The country wasn't great but at least you could live normally
No gay laws fucking up your paycheck
Fucked hot women
Is nownthe first silycone based human.

I will never forgive globohomo for taking him from us

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Would Moshe Katsav qualify as the one and only Israeli president who was convicted and served a prison sentence? Even fucking Bibi seems to be getting away with everything thanks to the plea deal he's working on.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

He was a world treasure and an example for us all despite years of embargo and isolation leaving him with somewhat of a weak bench. Evidently, all these girls got hunted down and btfo after his regime fell.
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I remember when he came to the US to do some grandstanding at the UN and set up a Bedouin tent city for his entourage out in the suburbs. On one of Trump's vacant lots, no less.

https://www.reuters.com/article/ozatp-gaddafi-20090923-idAFJOE58M00C20090923

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Kevin Baugh who leads the great nation of Molossia

Remember when Molossia got invaded.

 

[Cletus Kasady]

Sleepy Joe
Justine Castro Trudeau

Sleep Joe is a bit to boring to be a lolcow. Trudeau Castro on the other hand I can see as a lolcow. He's dumb enough, he's naive enough, and given how often he makes an ass of himself, he's definitely funny enough. However in my opinion his antics are often more infuriating than funny.

 

[Lieutenant Rasczak]

Remember when Molossia got invaded.

Never forget the potential great power that could've been Kickassia. RIPerino

 

[Klaptrap]

Sanna Marin the PM of Finland. She got caught clubbing till 4 am, is Finnish and 36 years old. We know she parties, Finns are natural cows, and she's pre-menopause so she'll be going through major life changes while in the public eye.
Keep an eye on her in the future, she's a real dark horse candidate.

 

[Overcast]

I've recently learned about "Honorius". A Western Roman Emperor that basically sat around and did fucking nothing as his empire burned all around his swampy refuge. Supposedly, there was a funny little exchange that exemplified his incompetency. And it all revolved around a chicken he named after Rome.

Messenger: “Sire! Rome has fallen!"
Honorius: "But she has just eaten from my hands!"

 

[Blitzsneed]

I've recently learned about "Honorius". A Western Roman Emperor that basically sat around and did fucking nothing as his empire burned all around his swampy refuge. Supposedly, there was a funny little exchange that exemplified his incompetency. And it all revolved around a chicken he named after Rome.

Messenger: “Sire! Rome has fallen!"
Honorius: "But she has just eaten from my hands!"

Might as well mention megalomaniacal Commodus and Nero while we're at it. Ancient rome was nuts.

 

[Mojo Thief]

On the topic of Roman emperors, none are more fascinatingly weird than the depraved homo twink foreign sun god cultist Elagabalus.

Here's a surface-level summary of his "accomplishments".

• Was the high priest of a cult that worshipped an Arab sun god called Elagabalus (surprisingly, this wasn't his doing, he got the name posthumously), and when he became emperor he elevated his pet god above the rest of the pantheon. Now, this wasn't that uncommon in Roman history (see Sol Invictus supplanting Jupiter), but what really peeved everyone back then was how Elagabalus erased Jupiter (as in, lightning-daddy Zeus himself) and forced everyone to worship his god instead.
• He personally presided over the rituals for his cult, which included dancing in skimpy clothes around the altar of Elagabalus (something done by girls in his homeland, this'll be a recurring theme) while Senators were forced to watch. He also ordered the most sacred artifacts in Roman religion moved from every other place of worship in the Empire to the huge temple he built specifically for his cult in the center of Rome.
• Elagabalus would host parades where he would loop around Rome in the back of a golden chariot staring at the sun. Of course, everyone is forced to watch.
• On the topic of sacrilege, he married a Vestal Virgin. This went over about as well as yelling "fire" in a crowded theater, as marrying a Vestal Virgin would be like marrying a Bishop while you're at the Vatican. After causing this mess, he just wound up divorcing her anyway.
• Despite having illegal holy pussy at his disposal, he preferred the company of his Greek slave boy Hierocles (if you're wondering, Elagabalus was supposedly the bottom, and would introduce him as his husband and himself, the wife). When Elagabalus granted him his freedom, Elagabalus tried to declare him co-Emperor. Needless to say, this did not work out.
• Early troon: One source says he used to dress up as a woman and prostitute himself to men in taverns. He also offered a massive reward for any doctors who could give him a neo-vagina.
• After the Hierocles scandal (and everything else about this weirdo, let's be real), the Praetorian Guard finally brutally murdered him and ultimately dumped his body into the Tiber.

The craziest part of all this? When he finally got dropped like the cum-filled sack of shit he was, he was only 18 years old. Perhaps a good example as to why horny teenagers shouldn't be handed absolute power.

That said, I will give the usual disclaimer: it's likely at least some of this is exaggerated, since that's what tended to happen to unpopular Roman rulers. Then again, Elagabalus is the kind of story that seems too bizarre to make up. Who could have predicted how Chris-Chan turned out, for example?