Prison Letters Chris's Second Letter to Celestia - Received 12/10/21

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Exigent Circumcisions dijo:
a shitty television show
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The weirdest thing is that Chris was obsessed with Family Guy for such a long time. Family Guy was always incredibly shitty, and only a literal tard idiot low-IQ dumbass such as Chris would ever love that unfunny amalgamation of ADHD-style "comedy." Chris was also a fan of the even worse Cleveland spin-off show. Now that he watches nothing but cartoon pony shows made for female children, he is distancing himself from his former preferred forms of media.
 
Exigent Circumcisions dijo:
Seth McFarlane would give me head because he's a homosexual.
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I dunno, he got to bang the rather hot Halston Sage who was on The Orville (their breakup may have something to do with why she left the show). She was fairly top tier material so I figure that was a pretty chad move on his part.
 
The problem that Chris has with Islam is twofold:

1) He's fucking autistic as shit and has absolutely no frame of reference for any religion beyond the protestant churches he attended in the past and stereotypes he sees on TV.

2) Assuming that Chris has a copy of the Qur'an and read it from end to end, the religion is almost 100% diametrically opposed to Chris's entire lifestyle. Islam stresses the importance of hard work, being a family man, and abstaining from worldly vices while also practicing rigid spiritual discipline. Chris literally shelled out $6000 to a pair of autists because they enabled his fantasies and told him about a nonexistent merge that would absolve him of any responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Why would Chris ever seek fulfilment from a higher power that demands so much out of him when in his deluded mind, he's the second coming of Christ?
 
Dread First dijo:
The problem that Chris has with Islam is twofold:

1) He's fucking autistic as shit and has absolutely no frame of reference for any religion beyond the protestant churches he attended in the past and stereotypes he sees on TV.

2) Assuming that Chris has a copy of the Qur'an and read it from end to end, the religion is almost 100% diametrically opposed to Chris's entire lifestyle. Islam stresses the importance of hard work, being a family man, and abstaining from worldly vices while also practicing rigid spiritual discipline. Chris literally shelled out $6000 to a pair of autists because they enabled his fantasies and told him about a nonexistent merge that would absolve him of any responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Why would Chris ever seek fulfilment from a higher power that demands so much out of him when in his deluded mind, he's the second coming of Christ?
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Islam promotes goat fucking, pedophilia, making women submissive and subservient to men and chimping out when things don’t go their way

Sounds like the perfect religion for Chris
 
Dwight Frye dijo:
Islam promotes goat fucking, pedophilia, making women submissive and subservient to men and chimping out when things don’t go their way

Sounds like the perfect religion for Chris
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I agree.

But in all seriousness him getting into Islam would be a 100% death sentence.

At some point he’s not going to be alone in a cell, in a county lockup. He’s going to be in a prison.

Christian prisoner nutjobs won’t shank you for talking all this second coming shit.

But the Muslim converts? The second some “I’m actually Allah” shit comes out of his mouth they are gonna fucking destroy him. The majority of Muslim converts in jail are violent black criminals, many with nothing to lose and a misguided understanding of their religion.
 
Dieter Laser dijo:
But the Muslim converts? The second some “I’m actually Allah” shit comes out of his mouth they are gonna fucking destroy him. The majority of Muslim converts in jail are violent black criminals, many with nothing to lose and a misguided understanding of their religion.
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If I recall correctly there was a village in Pakistan where the villagers killed each and every pidgeon in sight because a pidgeon crapped on a Koran. I doubt Chris would fare any better.
 
Dieter Laser dijo:
The majority of Muslim converts in jail are violent black criminals, many with nothing to lose and a misguided understanding of their religion.
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The hook about islam is guaranteed buffet and hymen-fetish harem when you die. Make sense straight horny men would convert, I want to know the mindset of female islam converts whose purpose is to be a servant for life and afterlife.
Sharkbait dijo:
If I recall correctly there was a village in Pakistan where the villagers killed each and every pidgeon in sight because a pidgeon crapped on a Koran. I doubt Chris would fare any better.
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Pigeon is now in Haram list.
If muslim men fucks Chris in the ass, is it sinful for them? Or not because he's female?
 
Tikbalang dijo:
If muslim men fucks Chris in the ass, is it sinful for them? Or not because he's female?
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There's nothing in the Quran that mentions transgenders, so the interpretation of some schools of Islamic thought is that it's okay as long as the trans person gets surgery. In particular the ruling Ja'fari jurisprudence of Shia Islam in Iran. In Iran, gay men get large numbers of sexual reassignment surgery in order to become women, because being a gay man is punishable by the death penalty, but there's no penalty for becoming a woman. Iran has more post-op troons than any country in the world except Thailand.

That said, anal sex is still haram, regardless of the genders of the people involved. So yes, it is sinful.
 
Pointless Sperg dijo:
In Iran, gay men get large numbers of sexual reassignment surgery in order to become women, because being a gay man is punishable by the death penalty.
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It's easy and more cost-effective to not see gay men as criminals, more than just killing them.
Even if they are muslims, they rather live in a free nation like America than a muslim state like Saudi Arabia.
If Chris's religion is a fact. A muslim man died and hopes he get his harem. Since he's a furry, all the virgins are anthromorphic animals.
 
Tikbalang dijo:
It's easy and more cost-effective to not see gay men as criminals, more than just killing them.
Even if they are muslims, they rather live in a free nation like America than a muslim state like Saudi Arabia.
If Chris's religion is a fact. A muslim man died and hopes he get his harem. Since he's a furry, all the virgins are anthromorphic animals.
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Worse - They are all MTG players.
 
Pointless Sperg dijo:
rather hot Halston Sage
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Meh. Not worth getting #MeToo'd over.
Halston-Sage-14.jpg

Kiira Korpi, on the other hand? Sold her body to a Ruskie Oligarc for a Saab and totally worth getting #MeToo'd over.
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Mariposa Electrique dijo:
The problem with Chris is that his sex offences continue to escalate.
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And he has zero empathy for his victims, he doesn't care if an attractive girl tells him to back off, if Chris can find an opportunity to physically get his hands on a woman he finds attractive he'll take it and be as grabby as he can.

And ever since at least Doopy (Maybe longer) he no longer cares if someone tells him they're in a happy monogamous relationship he'll still keep bothering them and freak out as if they're the bad one if he gets blocked (Or trolls being blamed in the case of Doopy).
ToroidalBoat dijo:
Remember when Chris made an overpowered character in D&D?
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I like he was so ludicrously fast (Constantly moving at just under 425 MPH) that anyone tripping him up would lead to his demise.
 
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