Yahoo Bought Out By Verizon - Tumblrinas Across Platform Purportedly Apoplectic

[Jaimas]

Queue up fitting music; the fucking inevitable has happened:

SAN FRANCISCO — Verizon’s announcement that it is acquiring Yahoo’s operations is a turning point for an internet pioneer that claims a billion users visit its services each month.

In addition to Yahoo’s popular email service, Verizon is taking over content sites like Yahoo Sports and Yahoo News, as well as Yahoo-owned services that operate separately under their own brands, including the Tumblr social network and the Flickr photo-sharing service.

And because I love this headline:

Yahoo Hints That $1 Billion Tumblr Acquisition Was Mostly Wasted Money

Verizon has bought out Yahoo, and with it, the Tumblrinas are purportedly losing their fucking minds. Any sperging you guys find on the matter should be brought here immediately.

 

[Zvantastika]

So far, only a few have noticed or even cared:

I'm guessing that until Verizon actually starts doing something to Tumblr, that's when shit is going to hit the fan. But from what I have read, right now Verizon is focusing all his attention to Yahoo and its main features and totally ignoring Tumblr, probably will still do for a few months.

 

[The Lawgiver]

I know this is a bit off topic but it's really fucking weird how of all possible buyouts that could have transpired, a fucking Phone company bought the OG competitor to google.

I can't wait to see the salt that's spawning from this "tragedy".

 

[AnOminous]

I hope they fuck around with tumblr in some insanely capitalist way that somehow turns a profit but rustles the jimmies of the current tumblr user base something fierce.

 

[GS 281]

Is it just me or does Yahoo! literally do fuck all with any of the shit it runs. Back in the 90's and 00's Yahoo! Chat was basically the Wild West and shit went down there that was unbelievable. They had user rooms up until like 2006 and had to shut them down because moderation couldn't handle the task of getting rid of rooms such as "12-17 YEAR OLD INCEST" and "MOLESTING MY CHILD HERE NOW!!!!!@@@!!!!". These rooms would remain open and at the top of the Yahoo! Chat Teen category for days at a time. Now tumblr has literal horsefucking going on, pedo apologists and all other nasty shit. Yahoo! is a shitty company, like the worst tech company ever and it will be good when it finally gets nuked.

 

[Jubileus]

...kids, when your EBITDA goes highly negative (LOL negative $3.7 billion for FY '15), don't be surprised when a super attractive offer you cannot refuse is 1/10th of what you were offered (and you rejected with a laugh) a mere half decade ago (when Microsoft was looking to buy). Even Twitter, perennial crap investment, isn't that far in negativeland (although they aren't looking so hot and I wouldn't be surprised to see a fire sale in the range of a billion dollar buyout if that there in the next year or two if they can't find a way to profitably monetize the thing themselves).

Dumbasses. Thankfully Verizon can easily afford this so we can watch them carve it all like a carcass. Can't wait to hear the screams of "nope nope nope nooooooope" from all ends when they get to the properties like Tumblr.

 

[Fervent Champion]

Dumbasses. Thankfully Verizon can easily afford this so we can watch them carve it all like a carcass. Can't wait to hear the screams of "nope nope nope nooooooope" from all ends when they get to the properties like Tumblr.

I'm positive that Tumblr will be one of the first assets they try and sell off. The Tumblr crowd isn't going to be image Verizon will want, but it wouldn't make much sense to just axe it. Some sucker will see the number of active blogs, but not their contents, and make them an offer.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

I'm positive that Tumblr will be one of the first assets they try and sell off. The Tumblr crowd isn't going to be image Verizon will want, but it wouldn't make much sense to just axe it. Some sucker will see the number of active blogs, but not their contents, and make them an offer.

Verizon has historically been fairly smart about their acquisitions. Tumblr is a profit-free pit you throw money down. Either selling it or gutting it and fundamentally changing the way it operates are their two smartest (and most likely) moves.

 

[PetalPinkPuppy]

Is it just me or does Yahoo! literally do fuck all with any of the shit it runs. Back in the 90's and 00's Yahoo! Chat was basically the Wild West and shit went down there that was unbelievable. They had user rooms up until like 2006 and had to shut them down because moderation couldn't handle the task of getting rid of rooms such as "12-17 YEAR OLD INCEST" and "MOLESTING MY CHILD HERE NOW!!!!!@@@!!!!". These rooms would remain open and at the top of the Yahoo! Chat Teen category for days at a time. Now tumblr has literal horsefucking going on, pedo apologists and all other nasty shit. Yahoo! is a shitty company, like the worst tech company ever and it will be good when it finally gets nuked.

Dem feels. I remember the day that Yahoo Chat suddenly had room creation disabled because it had become pedo central but it was amazingly out of hand before then - any perversion you wanted, you could find a room for and having "female" on your profile meant 20 ims a night at least. Friends and I used to troll those rooms or just go to gawk at the depravity and Yahoo did jack squat about trying to moderate or control it. Yawning Sneasel isn't exaggerating about room names like that in teen chat and they were even worse in the adult chat rooms - zoophilia, pedophilia, every fucked up fetish you can think of, rooms where users shared gore pics from Rotten.com or unreleased police photos, cp picture rooms... good god it was madness and it didn't take much digging to get there - just a scroll of the mouse wheel through room list. Their answer to everything has always been "ignore it until we can't then shut it down".

Verizon, on the other hand, can't do that. I do see them selling off tumblr or gutting it with strict moderation which ironically would make it the "safe space" so many tumblrites claim to want.

 

[CWCchange]

As I said in the Events & News section, Verizon will probably shed many of Yahoo's assets after merging its ads business with AOL's.

Microsoft dabbled in the idea of buying Yahoo several years back, but instead bought Nokia's cell phone business and failed miserably. It would have seemed more logical if Sprint acquired Yahoo! considering Verizon acquired AOL last year. Also, Sprint's parent company SoftBank owns part of Yahoo! Japan, which was always lucrative. Ultimately, they decided to go the Microsoft route and venture outside their core business by acquiring British semiconductor maker ARM Holdings. Verizon's main reason to acquire Yahoo! was ads anyway. Unfortunately, you will all be disappointed if Tumblr is spun off or sold.

As part divestment, Verizon might successfully get Tumblr to implement more ads, considering butthurt from users was one the reasons Tumblr was a miserable failure for Yahoo!

 

[admiral]

I could see Verizon selling Tumblr to one of those large Asian tech companies- they're very interested in websites with large user bases and lots of accounts.

 

[Southern Belle]

I hope they fuck around with tumblr in some insanely capitalist way that somehow turns a profit but rustles the jimmies of the current tumblr user base something fierce.

Like sudden screaming and looping invisible ads that are part of the Tumblr code and you cannot shut them out without the use of an extension. Because that happened. And most of the ads were about Ghostbusters 2016.

I'm positive that Tumblr will be one of the first assets they try and sell off. The Tumblr crowd isn't going to be image Verizon will want, but it wouldn't make much sense to just axe it. Some sucker will see the number of active blogs, but not their contents, and make them an offer.

Possibly. But it's hard to say at this stage. Verizon has been paying Tumblr money to show their ads for over a year now. Nobody's seeing it because, well, adblockers and xKit.

Before the sale, Tumblr had already implemented a opt-out advertising scheme (currently on limited rollout with the mobile, dashboard view, and Optima themes only at the moment) where if the user allows ads, they'll get a portion of the revenue. Their version of Adsense, I think is the gist of it. Since the majority of Tumblr is anti-ads, but also pro-money (so long as they don't actually have to work for it), they're testing the waters to see which will win out. The desire to be ad-free or greed.

 

[Jaimas]

I hope they fuck around with tumblr in some insanely capitalist way that somehow turns a profit but rustles the jimmies of the current tumblr user base something fierce.

It's already happened. Mandatory audio ads.

 

[Quijibo69]

I thought AT&T owned Yahoo for the longest time!

 

[Terence Trent D'ARPA]

I hope they fuck around with tumblr in some insanely capitalist way that somehow turns a profit but rustles the jimmies of the current tumblr user base something fierce.

Verizon can start by doxing each and every Tumblr user and forwarding the results to its collections department. There's probably a gold mine in there!

 

[Terrorist]

I could see Verizon selling Tumblr to one of those large Asian tech companies- they're very interested in websites with large user bases and lots of accounts.

This is true. I could easily see tumblr go the way of 4chan when it was sold to Nishimura for data-mining purposes (see InternetAristocrat's video for more details on that). Tumblr could be even better in that regard because users aren't as anonymous. If any money is to be made on tumblr, this is where it will be.

The only other way I could think of is verizon implementing a sort of tax on money made through tumblr (by advertising patreons/gofundmes/kickstarters, selling crafts/commissioning art), but I'm not sure how that would work or even if it could work. That, or making ads harder to avoid, which hasn't shown much success in the past. Both would rustle some jimmies, especially from anti-capitalist whiners and """"sex workers"""" who would be banned from selling because Verizon doesn't want to make dirty money. But those are both unfeasible, and even a financial illiterate like me can see that.

They'll most likely do nothing to it, and unload it on some data-miner azns or someone dumber than them when they bought it.

 

[Trombonista]

I hope tumblr isn't shut down. I don't want this forum going to waste.

 

[Reddit Avenger]

I can't imagine ads would cause that much butthurt anyways, simply seeing as the majority of the tumblr userbase is generally young and tech-savvy enough to know what 'ad-block' is.

And even if they weren't, I'm sure the moment it starts happening they'll be a million assholes "signal boosting" posts on how to circumvent them while pretending they're revolutionaries or something for denying Verizon astronomically tiny amounts of money.

 

[Fiddleford]

They're already implementing ads on every single blog, likely as a desperate attempt to make more money.

 

[AzureGaru]

Any site to replace Tumblr? and I hope specialgenders,fictionkin and other special snowflake stuff die with the site.