Xbox Game Studios Stupidity Hate Thread Game Pass Edition

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Oh god, this pajeeta is 100% going to force Todd to add some sort of ai dialog in Skyrim 2.

You'd be lucky if they were that creative.
My guess is they'll add in a Na'Vi like character that just follows you around with co-pilot built in.

She grinded achievements for the past month

More likely she had them unlock things for her. They can do that on the backend. She may have fucked around a little bit, but a lot of those massive unlocks with only an hour played?
That's them doing it on the backend.

 

[umseriously]

A random hobo off the streets could probably turn Xbox around, but not these clowns. Sad world we live in.

 

[Kether]

i really hope they release clockwork revolution soon, before the jeet comes in and fucks the entire thing up.

how the fuck is it taking 6+ years to make these games. none of the games i've seen or played seem to have more content than new vegas or other gen 7 games that took about 2 years to make. so why are they taking 3x longer to make with so little to show for it. they have all these studios and i bet not a single one actually makes money. have they broken even on a single acquisition?

 

[Miller]

I wonder if Phil Spencer still feels like the Xbox One launch is to be blamed. Never seemed like a good way to cope to me. Just look at Nintendo. They didn't just bitch about the Wii U flopping, they learned and came out with the Switch.

Oh and shout out to those 18/6 contracts. You know, the ones where developers work for 18 months on a game and then cannot touch the project for 6 months. This is likely the reason development takes so long and so many games got cancelled for Xbox.

It's both the Xbox One shit show and the Microsoft corporate structure. They all went full ESG, Xbox (or Microsoft Games) even built a checklist of things their studios have to follow.
With all the studios they own, none of them seem to be able to make a fucking video game. The Perfect Dark reboot is the most weird thing that happened. To me it felt like some sort of money laundering. The director of the game used to be at Crystal Dynamics, Microsoft gave him a studio to make the Perfect Dark reboot and yet he needed the help of another studio which just happened to be the one he worked for previously (Crystal Dynamics).

Blind has a thread on her from back when she became a VP at Facebook out of nowhere.

Some highlights from accounts verified to work at the companies she has:
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Source (Archive)

I bet Sarah Bond was exactly like her.

 

[Jose Beaner Luna]

It is wrong if i say the Xbox pooja looks kinda cute?

 

[deleuzeon]

how the fuck is it taking 6+ years to make these games. none of the games i've seen or played seem to have more content than new vegas or other gen 7 games that took about 2 years to make. so why are they taking 3x longer to make with so little to show for it.

A game can come together fast when you have a team of people with a common, game-literate culture so they can understand the goal with minimal communication meetings, who are constantly pushing for a major deadline no more than 3 months away and who are basically expecting to crunch for the entire last year of the project in order to maximize hours invested per unit of calendar time.

Instead we now see games made by "satellite studios" spread across 3 different continents (no common culture, constant miscommunication, constant integration problems), led by DEI hires (not game-literate), staffed by girls (for lack of a better word, but also literally) who want a "work-life balance" and lack passion for the job and gaming generally.

Basically all changes to the way these games are made and the compositions of the teams making them over the last decade and a half have been for the worse. The "professionalization" of the industry combined with the Sarkeesian DEI effect have been ruinous.

 

[Incecticyder]

It is wrong if i say the Xbox pooja looks kinda cute?

It is not wrong to say she is pretty. It is wrong to say she can turn this ship around because that is a lie.

 

[Miller]

Who’s to say she didn’t pull an Elon and pay people to play for her?

She probably did. That's how Phil Spencer unlocked his achievements.

 

[You're MDNWU]

I can't see how this Jeetess can turn things around

She's not meant to.

Either she's put there to jeetify Microsoft even more; "SAAR WE OWN EVYTHING, SAAR. BTTR THAN WHYTS, SAAR"

Or she's gonna be the one who starts cutting departments/studios aka jobs to drop OPEX costs as much as humanly possible with the hopes that stock price go up.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Do these retards not know Chrono trigger has had multiple re-releases over the years? It was released on Steam 8 years ago. If you played it at the Steam release and said "I played it a long time ago" I would agree with you. These rage baiters poison the well constantly by making stupid statements. She's a diversity hire and will be the fall guy for when MS gaming completely collapses. But she doesn't have to have played a game at it's original release for her to have played it a long time ago.

 

[TV's Adam West]

Grummmy will do literally anything but work on his game.

 

[Tanner Glass]

It's both the Xbox One shit show and the Microsoft corporate structure. They all went full ESG, Xbox (or Microsoft Games) even built a checklist of things their studios have to follow.
With all the studios they own, none of them seem to be able to make a fucking video game. The Perfect Dark reboot is the most weird thing that happened. To me it felt like some sort of money laundering. The director of the game used to be at Crystal Dynamics, Microsoft gave him a studio to make the Perfect Dark reboot and yet he needed the help of another studio which just happened to be the one he worked for previously (Crystal Dynamics).

The main thing is that when a studio gets bought up, a lot of the really big names get big paydays and fuck off/retire and there's really no fixing it. Once talent leaves a studio (and forces some level of layoff and closure) - you can't get them back. The second that Todd Howard got pulled away from just being Bethesda and doing MS stuff - Bethesda went to complete shit (FO76, Starfield). No dev with talent wants to put in hard work at a MS studio just for the game to be dogshit anyway (or close without ever having released, or be an embarassing Redfall/Highguard tier release).

With complete sincerity - they need a proven slave driver to get these studios putting out games and they needed someone in that role ~12 years ago. They need a Bobby Kotick so bad it hurts and possibly possibly this Indian is one of those Indians who is great at cracking the whip on people she feels like are beneath her - but they need a pro.

 

[moocow]

This really came out of left field despite Xbox clearly not doing well. I'm surprised Sarah Bond is out of Microsoft entirely, it feels like it was obvious that she was Phil's successor. Was there really nobody else at Microsoft better suited for the job than someone who has zero experience in any gaming related field and clearly knows nothing about gaming?

Sarah Bond is not a jeet. This thing is. That's all there is to it.

I love the fact I get to watch Microsoft as a whole (not just Xbox) crash and fucking burn over the next decade because these jeet idiots are at the helm. I fucking love it. This is going to be a fantastic "controlled flight into terrain" own-goal of unprecedented proportion. And it's all brown.

 

[Ego]

Is Grummz trying to say she couldn't have played chrono trigger cause she was 6 when it came out? ... He's aware that you can play games later than the release date? Or just play the fucking game as a young kid?
It's a video game that's the prime age to play a video game. (Death to India and whatever weird chinky blend Kern is)

 

[Dropa5pack]

As a casual Xbox enjoyer, this move really says it all and confirms that Xbox is done. The cloud gaming pivot was doomed to fail as there’s no way around lag without violating our current understanding of physics. It was the kind of pivot that failing companies commit to rather than bringing in more casual gamers. It signaled uncertainty and lack of belief in their product, which consumers felt. Who is going to buy into a company unsure of itself? Her appointment is just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Nothing will actually improve. PlayStation is not without issues, but at least Sony still believes in its product. The same can no longer be said for Microsoft and Xbox.

 

[Baraka Obama]

A random hobo off the streets could probably turn Xbox around, but not these clowns. Sad world we live in.

What would your plan be?

 

[They were once men]

I really don't understand why they can't get a game designer/lead or someone with past knowledge about game development to head you know the gaming department, I will never understand silicon valley weirdos.

 

[Duane Dibbley]

Mind you I wouldn't call it blind panic but more that they saw a multitude of people using the 360 for Netflix and such and tried to lean into it thinking that was who the core audience was now

They created/caused that core audience shift when they abandoned making 1st party games and stopped being the microsoft of 2001-2010 and turned into the shit state they're in now.

The shift from the hardcore gamer to the casual happened just before 2008 and continued at pace. Instead of accommodating both, they abandoned the market that put them to the top.

 

[umseriously]

What would your plan be?

1. Remove all the dei bullshit.
2. Make games for the tik tok zoomers.
3. Make online free.
4. Start bringing back hot females and tough guys from the old 360 era.
5. Get those contracts with Rockstar and others for exclusivity deals; not impossible if you have a good negotiator.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

The second that Todd Howard got pulled away from just being Bethesda and doing MS stuff - Bethesda went to complete shit (FO76, Starfield).

Bethesda was always shit. The drones finally realized it when they couldn't use mods to fix a MMO the way they fixed every other Bethesda game. Reality caught up to the fanbase, the games didn't really change.

They created/caused that core audience shift when they abandoned making 1st party games and stopped being the microsoft of 2001-2010 and turned into the shit state they're in now.

They still make 1st party titles like Doom Dark ages and Halo Infinite. They didn't abandon the market, they just did a poor job of it.