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Would it be cool if
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Start flaying yourself with a (sterile optional) blade, and just start replacing flesh with kevlar. It'll protect you from blood loss, so don't worry about it.
This is the kind of thing I'd normally say 'don't be a moron, that's so edgy' to but to be honest it's better to be safe than sorry. Someone comes up and tries to kill you and can't quite do it, that makes it all worth it.
Better hope only nigger gangbangers are shooting you. Non-retards use rifles. You better be prepared to pay out the ass for plates that aren't heavy or uncomfortably thick. for all day, every day use. Do I really want to sperg about body armor on Christmas Eve? Maybe when I get done wrapping gifts. Wearing body armor is generally annoying at the best of times.
t. infantry combat veteran
