William McGonagall

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skacn

kiwifarms.net
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19 de Feb, 2026
His "poetry" might just be the Sonichu of the 19th century. Instead of being trolled by people pretending to be renowned game developers, he was trolled by impersonators of playwrights, kings, and queens. Also apparently had a massive Messiah complex just like Chris-chan's delusional Godhood arc. Wow, this dude was fascinating to read about, I consider him an obscure but compelling 19th century lolcow.
 
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He's from near my hometown and is probably Dundee's most famous son. The World's Worst Poet. His diaries are brilliant, he was very angry about reciting his poetry in a pub and a man threw a bowl of peas at him. Then as you read further, he reveals it was the landlord throwing the peas at him in his own pub.
He walked all the way to Balmoral Castle to try to convince Queen Victoria to make him Poet Laureate, but was turned away at the door. What a lad.

We read The Tay Bridge Disaster in school when I was like 11 and the teacher was trying to make out that this was an important historical record (as if they didn't have newspapers then) while we were all creasing up laughing at how bad it was. The teacher was like "this was a serious accident, people died!" and we were howling.

He could definitely do with a Lolcows of History thread.
 
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Yeah, I can make a thread on him sometime when I have time. He's intriguing.
He's from near my hometown and is probably Dundee's most famous son. The World's Worst Poet. His diaries are brilliant, he was very angry about reciting his poetry in a pub and a man threw a bowl of peas at him. Then as you read further, he reveals it was the landlord throwing the peas at him in his own pub.
He walked all the way to Balmoral Castle to try to convince Queen Victoria to make him Poet Laureate, but was turned away at the door. What a lad.

We read The Tay Bridge Disaster in school when I was like 11 and the teacher was trying to make out that this was an important historical record (as if they didn't have newspapers then) while we were all creasing up laughing at how bad it was. The teacher was like "this was a serious accident, people died!" and we were howling.

He could definitely do with a Lolcows of History thread.
 
Yeah, I can make a thread on him sometime when I have time. He's intriguing.
I'll help out if you like, I'm a big "fan" and have a copy of some of his poems - they'd been collected and sold as "The World's Worst Poet". Apparently there are multiple competitions to write worse poems than him, and so far nobody's succeeded. One of my favourite things about his poetry is it's usually about serious and sad topics, like a rail bridge collapsing, or how sad blind people's lives are, or the virtues of temperance and the harms of alcohol abuse, but even (especially?) with such heavy subject matter, it's so bad that it's impossible to take it seriously. Like how The Room was intended to be a serious dramatic tragedy.

Here's The Tay Bridge Disaster:
William McGonagall dijo:
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

’Twas about seven o’clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem’d to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem’d to say—
“I’ll blow down the Bridge of Tay.”

When the train left Edinburgh
The passengers’ hearts were light and felt no sorrow,
But Boreas blew a terrific gale,
Which made their hearts for to quail,
And many of the passengers with fear did say—
“I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay.”

But when the train came near to Wormit Bay,
Boreas he did loud and angry bray,
And shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

So the train sped on with all its might,
And Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sight,
And the passengers’ hearts felt light,
Thinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,
With their friends at home they lov’d most dear,
And wish them all a happy New Year.

So the train mov’d slowly along the Bridge of Tay,
Until it was about midway,
Then the central girders with a crash gave way,
And down went the train and passengers into the Tay!
The Storm Fiend did loudly bray,
Because ninety lives had been taken away,
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

As soon as the catastrophe came to be known
The alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,
And the cry rang out all o’er the town,
Good Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,
And a passenger train from Edinburgh,
Which fill’d all the people’ hearts with sorrow,
And made them for to turn pale,
Because none of the passengers were sav’d to tell the tale
How the disaster happen’d on the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

It must have been an awful sight,
To witness in the dusky moonlight,
While the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,
Along the Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.
Also I don't know how people talked in the 1870s, but certainly I've never heard anyone in east Scotland pronounce "Edinburgh" so that it rhymes with "sorrow". He'd have to mangle that when reciting it.
 
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I'll help out if you like, I'm a big "fan" and have a copy of some of his poems - they'd been collected and sold as "The World's Worst Poet". Apparently there are multiple competitions to write worse poems than him, and so far nobody's succeeded. One of my favourite things about his poetry is it's usually about serious and sad topics, like a rail bridge collapsing, or how sad blind people's lives are, or the virtues of temperance and the harms of alcohol abuse, but even (especially?) with such heavy subject matter, it's so bad that it's impossible to take it seriously. Like how The Room was intended to be a serious dramatic tragedy.
Yeah, sure, can you give me an archive of his poetry? and some of his autobiography as well detailing the multitude of times he got trolled?
 
I'm trying to find a copy of his autobiography, but the archive sites are coming up short.
For now, here's a short biography with some of his greatest hits, like describing his parents as "bibulous", thinking it meant "bible reading", but was later told it meant "drunkards": https://www.wikiwand.com/en/articles/William_McGonagall

This thesis has some details about how he was knighted by trolls "the Knight of the White Elephant, Burma" and then used it in all his correspondence since. It argues that he was aware of the trolls and in on the joke: https://www.oocities.org/williamtopazmcgonagall/thesis.htm
 
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