Why isn't my Kiwi Farm working?

[Larkin N Likin]

Hi, just joined the forum and was hoping you guys could help me with my farm. I've killed dozens of kiwis and planted them out in an open field. I've used the best quality fertilizer I could find and watered them consistently, but nothing has grown and the whole field has this weird smell. I'm 10k in debt and my family's future depends on the success of this farm. Please help.

Edit: Just to clarify, I'm farming the people kiwis, not the birds.

 

[The Real Me]

Apply liberal doses of updoots and Internet points. Do this thrice a day or else they become demoralised.

 

[Ledgitouchie]

Kiwis are only good for mulching.

 

[CEO of Pickles]

Works on my toaster.