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Opioids never really sat well with me, it takes way too much ketamine for me to even feel anything (or I guess feel nothing...), and my tolerance to benzos skyrockets way too quickly.
I'm just not made to be a drug addict I'm afraid.
Because human beings are desperately, intrinsically evil and will destroy themselves--and those around them--when given the slightest opportunity to do so.
If you want to over-medicate then go make some connections with shady drug dealers or whatever; get some proper shit to ruin your life with. Don't go dragging some random faggot doctor/pharmacist's career into the gutter with liability concerns. You say you want suicide but your actions are trying for kamikaze.
Drugs aren't "bad," on the contrary, a lot of them are very very good. A lot of average iq normies/wagies would never tolerate sober life again if drugs were easy to obtain, and (((society))) can't have that.