Why are my nipples always hard?

[NQ 952]

I never seem to have buttery smooth nipples. They're always hard and bumpy. I'm not a woman so I doubt I'm lactating, and I don't let anyone randomly suckle my teats.

Why are my nipples always hard?

 

[polonium]

Just lucky, I guess.

 

[Bassomatic]

Because you keep thinking about me.

That's kinda creepy, stop it.

 

[Rou]

Put a shirt on, it's cold.

 

[Coldgrip]

You keep rubbing them.

 

[VJ 120]

Because you're gay.

 

[Apocalypso]

 

[AnimuGinger]

Can confirm. You're just lucky.

 

[Pepsi-Cola]

and I don't let anyone randomly suckle my teats.

you're missing out!

 

[DefunctChip]

I always knew I would have to have this talk with you, son. You were born with a super power. Always Hard Nips.

Use it well.

 

[Ntwadumela]

Maybe you need to switch from using wooden chopsticks to metal/ivory

 

[ZehnBoat]

because your nipples eagerly await [insert forum user here]

 

[Caddchef]

Are you sure you didn't just fall asleep on a packet of Jazzies at one point and never removed the ones that melted onto you? Here's the way you find out, how many nipples do you have? If it's more than two then that's probably what happened.

 

[Trombonista]

 

[RV 229]

Ask your doctor if it lasts for more than four hours.

 

[weaselhat]

Mmmm, buttery nipples
http://cocktails.about.com/od/cocktailrecipes/r/btry_npl_shtr.htm

 

[ZehnBoat]

Ask your doctor if it lasts for more than four hours.

should i call my doctor if my autism lasts for more than four hours?

 

[RV 229]

should i call my doctor if my autism lasts for more than four hours?

Yeah. You'll need him to give you the cyanide pills.

 

[cypocryphy]

My nipples were hard the whole day during the recent 5 year anniversary of Bobs death.

 

[WW 635]

should i call my doctor if my autism lasts for more than four hours?

Autism that lasts for more than four hours can be a sign of a more serious issue, such as being a kiwi farms member or in more severe cases an lolcow.