Which wild animal makes the best pet?

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I'm thinking of getting my nephew (half black) a pet for his birthday (turning 3) but I have no money (got scammed by an Onlyfans whore). I had a brilliant idea while in the shower (I ask people to spray me down at the local car wash) to just acquire a wild animal as a reasonable solution. What wild animal (or plant) is the best and what's the best (cheapest) way to catch one?

Serious answers only. Cryptids (bigfoots, mothmans, chupacabras, etc) aren't real.

 

[Sillyclown]

Crows, if you know what you're doing.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Crows, if you know what you're doing.

He's half black. Crows have a racist connotation and I don't want to trigger his ancestral trauma.

 

[Nicholas Gur]

Chickens. They like to gather in large communes on trad larpers property so it's easy to just grab one when you need it.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

pitbull

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Chickens. They like to gather in large communes on trad larpers property so it's easy to just grab one when you need it.

He's half black. He'd eat the chicken.

pitbull

He's half black. He already has a pitbull. It's his baby sitter.

 

[PositiveMonk]

Maybe a succulent, they're pretty easy to take care of.

 

[Forever A Loner]

Chickadees or European starlings sound easy enough to take care of if you keep em in a cage.

 

[Nicholas Gur]

He's half black. He'd eat the chicken.

That's what makes chickens such great pets.

 

[W'rkncacnter]

Tapeworm

 

[We Are The Witches]

A wild animal? That's not appropriate for a kid that age, nor it is a domesticated one if they don't have the responsability or even drive to take care of another creature.

So you're going to be the one taking care of it, just "rescue" a dog (Bill Burr would not like me using this term: "getting" a dog is better) that can be accomodated according to your resources (like a small dog over a big one, or certain breeds over others).

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

A husky.

 

[Cardinal Cardinal]

A nest of hornets. Old run down houses near mud or a body of water are a good free source.

 

[Mac Monster]

A parrot. Secretly teach him to say nigger to really surprise your nephew.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Depending on where you live there's plenty to choose from, if you live in australia you always grab a cockatiel, if you live in south america you could get a guinea pig, if you live in canada you always pick up a moose.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I had pet slugs in a peanut butter jar for a while when I was a kid. You can feed them grass or food scraps, and if you get tired of them you can just leave the jar outside with the lid off.

Snails would be easier for a young kid to handle, because of the shells.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I had pet slugs in a peanut butter jar for a while when I was a kid. You can feed them grass or food scraps, and if you get tired of them you can just leave the jar outside with the lid off.

Snails would be easier for a young kid to handle, because of the shells.

I had pet earthworms I took with me everywhere when I was about 6 or 7. They lived in a plastic container full of old cardboard and other stuff. Had I known what I was doing, I could have had them for 20 years.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I had pet earthworms I took with me everywhere when I was about 6 or 7. They lived in a plastic container full of old cardboard and other stuff. Had I known what I was doing, I could have had them for 20 years.

I had pet earthworms as a kid too. I taught them how to catch fish.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Give him an empty jar and tell him there's a pet ghost inside. He's half-black so he won't turn white as a sheet himself at the thought of it, but also won't do anything foolish like open the jar.

 

[OrionBalls]

Coyote, all the way. Start with one of the little western ones. Don't jump in all eastern coyote from the jump, or he could get hurt.