Which lolcows would make for the most amusing failed candidates for any political office?

[ASeabear8952]

Just hypothetically, if any lolcow managed to run for political office, which of their campaigns would make for the most amusing train wrecks, and what would their campaigns be like?

For me it would be pre-jail Chris, Ralph, and any schizocow.

 

[♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️]

Joseph Victor Nathan Gherman aka "Assistant Groyper" as Chairman of the Federal Reserve

https://kiwifarms.pa/threads/jozef-...sistant-jew-groyper-america-first-jew.118679/

 

[Barbussy Enjoyer]

Brianna Wu

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Some of them already ran and some are running right now. Off the top of my head examples for the first are John Walker "Brianna Wu" Flynt and Carl "Sargon of Akkad" Benjamin and the latter Landon "Lana" Hiscock.

Oh please let this race parry down to two candidates and become the Stretch-Hiscock election.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

Chance "Cyrax" Wilkins. Incoherent ramblings, random beefs with baffled journalists, whipping out his infected dick as an "own" when stressed. Using campaign stops to bolster his 'rap career'. Plus you get to see the public reaction whenever that...thing....pops up in ads or interviews.

 

[PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue]

Russell Greer.

 

[beautiful person]

Russell Greer.

Imagine him trying to give a campaign speech

 

[Laburnum]

Fatrick. Imagine all the childing he'd do in town hall debates.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

MovieBob for city zoning?

 

[AirdropShitposts]

It's gotta be your favorite probably right? Like, I love names given so far and thought of some others but nothing could be as funny to me as Jake Alley doing it.

 

[Marche]

Multiple have already.

 

[Lieutenant Rasczak]

Lucas Roberts. Reminder that he embezzled funds from the Canadian Communist Party so he can fuel his drug addiction.

 

[PhoninHomer23]

Benthelooney could've been a funny candidate if he ran in 2015

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

MovieBob for city zoning?

Movie Bob for president. I'd love to hear him justify his plan to kill most of the country and force the remainder into camps or mega cities to work on robots, immortality, and moon wheat.

 

[BEEJAMZ]

Nathan larson and don blankenship
These videos summ it up best

https://youtu.be/PzLNCbNHPik

https://youtu.be/laO0JULtxSc

https://youtu.be/uRxKiDeNcmY

 

[Chongqing]

I would actually love DSP in a political debate.

 

[Backinpogform]

There's a lolcow called Landon Mycock who is running. He is a castrated troon. You know I'm not joking.

 

[Regio Consiglio]

Matt Jarbo ran in the California gubernatorial election in 2003, although I couldn't find his name in the Wikipedia election's page

 

[Fastest Hand In The East]

Eathan Raplh.
I imagine him appearing to gatherings in white suit, black cowboy tie, ten gallon hat and constantly smoking a cigar, like Texas richman from Simpsons. Getting into fistfights at every corner and with everyone. Calling the opposing candidates bitches. That sort of thing.

 

[Ben10]

Overall I would say Lucas because seeing his I am Gutsy Woman fantasy get crushed whenever even remotely challenged is just a delight.

Pamperchu might make some serious traction with san Francisco gays