Which JFK theory is actually right? Skitzodome

[IAmNotAlpharius]

So of all the JFK theories out there which one is actually correct? I thought this would be a fun thread with the upcoming disclosure via executive order.

 

[Mike Matei's Penis]

It was Mason from Black Ops.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

It was proven that it was Scott Bakula who quantum leaped into Lee Harvey Oswald.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

The one where a time traveler came back in time to assassinate him because something JFK did later on indirectly resulted in the time traveler's wife's death.

EDIT:

It was proven that it was Scott Bakula who quantum leaped into Lee Harvey Oswald.

Yeah, that!

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

The one where a time traveler came back in time to assassinate him because something JFK did later on indirectly resulted in the time traveler's wife's death.

EDIT:

Yeah, that!

You’re all wrong…

It was aliens.

 

[It's Little Alex Horne]

His head just did that, obviously.

 

[Gog & Magog]

They're all true.

 

[Chaos Theorist]

 

[Preacher ✝]

I really want it to be the grassy knoll, for the memes.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

He held in a sneeze.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

Lee Harvey Oswald was just that good of a shot.
Former US Marine sharpshooting at its finest

 

[The Last Stand]

That JFK had something to do with Marilyn Monroe's death.

 

[Ashamed of Yourself]

It was his wife, in her little pink suit and hat, and in the moment before he died, JFK knew why. She wore gloves that day for a reason.

Oswald just provided cover/a distraction.

 

[Cancer Man]

Oswald was an obvious patsy.
He was actually shot from the sewer.

 

[ita]

Bush did it.

 

[Serbian Peacekeepers]

Oswald did it, but he did a epic MLG 360 noscope and the feds were so salty he pulled that off they killed him and hid that fact.

 

[Tablet County]

It was Elvis.

 

[dick brain]

Shot from the grassy knoll by unknown triggermen but most likely mafia hitmen sourced by Hoover through Lucky Luciano (the same relationship that would have facilitated Operation Mongoose and was later used to assassinate MLK). Evidence was planted in the book depository by Malcom "Mac" Wallace who was under LBJ's thumb because LBJ used his influence to get him off the hook for murder years earlier, Wallace would later die in a suspicious car crash iirc. Oswald was on payroll from a CIA shell company and instructed to walk to Jack Ruby's apartment that day which put him in the right place at the right time to be picked up. It happened in Dallas because the Mayor of Dallas at the time was the brother of the Deputy Director of the CIA that JFK had just ousted. CIA and FBI wanted JFK killed because he was trying to reign in their respective organized crime rackets, LBJ wanted the power and was motivated by an impending investigation of his criminal dealings, big oil and the military industrial complex wanted him killed for trying to pull out of Vietnam.

It's not that complicated.

source

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

I'm all in with da RD theory. It was to be Oswald, but thanks to interference JFK survived only to then fix it by shooting himself from the grassy knoll.

 

[Tablet County]

Lucky Luciano

You know he had to do it to him.