Raccoons. Those little fuckers. Girls love them and think they're soooo adorable, even when they're knocking over the garbage, tearing up your attic to make a den that they piss and shit in, carrying a brainworm parasite in their feces, killing your cat, getting into screeching fights late at night before they fuck, and eventually walking out on their kids (who then spend days crying piteously, but does Chad Raccoon give a shit? No). And those little assholes will come right into your house and help themselves to any food you have lying around, and make a huge mess, as if they own the place and what are you gonna do about it, bitch? And when you announce you're going to get rid of them, every chick in the immediate vicinity is like, "Nooooo! Don't hurt them! They're so cute and I just loooove them so much! Why would you get rid of them?"
Raccoons are the worst fucking Chads, man. For real.
