Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[AnOminous]

What reasonable person would hire him? One Google search is all it takes. His best bet to get a decent job would be changing his full name without publicizing it and stopping with all of this sonichu bullshit.

Even if he did all that, he's still completely retarded and autistic and would get fired for tarding out within a few days.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

In lieu of recent events, I think it's safe to assume that Chris will attempt to turn the house into a whore house.

 

[Mirror]

Would he be able to keep the house? I wonder if Barb has thought about making a will.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

In lieu of recent events, I think it's safe to assume that Chris will attempt to turn the house into a whore house.

A maison derriere, if you will.

 

[AnOminous]

Would he be able to keep the house? I wonder if Barb has thought about making a will.

Yeah well I've gone into that a couple times. Bob probably did but he's long dead. And Barb practically danced on his grave blowing all his money on a stupid and doomed defense of Chris's autism turning into crime.

If she does not have a will, the rules of intestate succession mean that Blackacrethat shit hole on Branchland Court belongs to her only heirs, and those are Chris and that evil, stupid, sniveling bastard Cole Smithey. He would own half of it in that case.

 

[CatParty]

how long will chris live once barb dies? can he even survive? will he be depressed and suicide?

 

[Agentpeanut]

how long will chris live once barb dies? can he even survive? will he be depressed and suicide?

Nah, Chris is far too narcissistic to ever truely go ahead with suicide.
He'll propably crash into slumber for a month or so and then try to exploit Barbs death for maximum sympathy donations.

 

[AnOminous]

how long will chris live once barb dies? can he even survive? will he be depressed and suicide?

He will have her corpse to eat.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

how long will chris live once barb dies? can he even survive? will he be depressed and suicide?

Chris will live until he's 200. He won't die until he's as wrinkled and purple as a California Raisin.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

A maison derriere, if you will.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Virginia.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

Chris will cut off Barb's breasts and vagina and sew them onto himself Ala Buffalo Bill.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

What reasonable person would hire him? One Google search is all it takes. His best bet to get a decent job would be changing his full name without publicizing it and stopping with all of this sonichu bullshit.

Realistically speaking most employers wouldn't even bother to do that. Like, anyone with the slightest semblance of competence would realize Chris is a huge liability within five minutes of talking to him. And by talking, I mean trying to make heads or tails out of his autistic mumblings.

The only reason anyone would hire modern day Chris is pity; the kind of pity only someone who is either dangerously naive, very experienced at wrangling tardos or truly saintly can have.

 

[bigbaby]

Realistically speaking most employers wouldn't even bother to do that. Like, anyone with the slightest semblance of competence would realize Chris is a huge liability within five minutes of talking to him. And by talking, I mean trying to make heads or tails out of his autistic mumblings.

The only reason anyone would hire modern day Chris is pity; the kind of pity only someone who is either dangerously naive, very experienced at wrangling tardos or truly saintly can have.

I'd hire him to go around with an advertising sign or hire him as a mascot

He should try to get on a reality show or contact somebody like Caitlyn Jenner. It's his best bet.

 

[Jerkop In Training]

Have you ever seen mentally ill homeless people around your neighborhood? there's a guy in my town who picks from the trash and looks inside supermarket trolleys for coins, basically Chris is going to end up like that

 

[ZehnBoat]

I'd hire him to go around with an advertising sign or hire him as a mascot

and he would leave his post after 30 minutes
and bitch at you that it's too hard, and he's better than your job, and why can't he work in a corner office with sexy secretaries whom he can slap in the ass.

 

[Trilby]

and he would leave his post after 30 minutes
and bitch at you that it's too hard, and he's better than your job, and why can't he work in a corner office with sexy secretaries whom he can slap in the ass.

aha.

 

[Mr Zero]

I wonder if Chris will beg for donations for the funeral and then when the weebs send him money he spends it all on toys and just buries her in the backyard anyway.

I can't imagine the excuse he would think of for that.

"I needed to buy those Legos to build her coffin with but I was too stressed to build it after I bought them"

 

[bzewzi]

I can't believe this thread is over a year old and people are still thinking of new things to say.

Or, well, old things to say in a slightly different way.

My god, we've turned into /r9k/.

 

[Vault Boy]

Overcome with overwhelming feelings of loss and sorrow, Chris would seek McDonald's out as comfort food. After several hours of stuffing his face, he would suffer from a stroke caused by eating one too many hamburgers. While he would survive the stroke thanks to the timely work of doctors at the Charlottesville Hospital, the right side of his face would forever droop, and he would have a diet enforced by the doctors. Overwhelmed by feelings of confusion and disappointment, Chris would stress sigh, shit his pants, and then do nothing.

 

[Sphere of Many Eyes]

Overcome with overwhelming feelings of loss and sorrow, Chris would seek McDonald's out as comfort food. After several hours of stuffing his face, he would suffer from a stroke caused by eating one too many hamburgers. While he would survive the stroke thanks to the timely work of doctors at the Charlottesville Hospital, the right side of his face would forever droop, and he would have a diet enforced by the doctors. Overwhelmed by feelings of confusion and disappointment, Chris would stress sigh, shit his pants, and then do nothing.

After reading this post I'm like 98% convinced that Vault Boy here is a poster from the future. This sounds too grimly real.