Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Pvt. Real G]

Honestly, I think Chris is gonna put a sonichu medallion on Barb's corpse and fill her casket with sonichu shit and magic rocks.

 

[Pikautism]

Barb's debt ain't going anywhere if she got Chris to co-sign on loans with her, which she has because her credit is more dogshit than his
And marvin has said she's borrowed against his insurance, so he doesn't even have that

Every time I think I've reached the final layer of their crippling debt I somehow find another underneath. She is a literal financial black hole.

 

[The Fool]

Chris will get Barb cremated and then scatter her ashes on the Hoard, becoming part of it. This is how she would have wanted it.

 

[Looney Troons]

Thanks to everyone who answered my question. Quite informative. I like being able to come to the sub forum and not constantly have fragments of my brain seep from my ears.

Even if Chris was able to alleviate himself of Barb’s and his combined debt for a measly few hundred dollars from the tugboat, he’d probably opt to blast it all on Patreon and Legos. :/

 

[Picnic_Boy]

The content will slowly dry up and we'll depend on field corespondents.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

You don’t need to harm someone (seriously or not) to go to prison. People go to prison for armed robbery all the time, some of them aren’t even truly armed and only have a simulated weapon. A judge will look closely at previous convictions when deciding whether or not to divert to something like a youthful offender program, drug court, or therapeutic docket. Chris already has two strikes for violent offenses. I’m not saying Chris is likely to rob someone for Leggos using Megatron as a weapon, but saying he’d have to maim someone to get locked up is just bullshit.

EDIT: Give me all the negative ratings you want. However, I’m in court and in jail multiple times a week representing clients facing felony charges (including murder).

Chris's most serious conviction is for misdemeanor assault at Gamestop (the Snyder incident was reduced to a traffic citation for failure to stop). The teflon tard's criminal record is nuisance crimes.

You can claim to be Johnnie Cochran on the internet all you want but expect people to roll their eyes when you're comparing a sperg like Chris to armed robbers.

 

[guccigash]

Chris's most serious conviction is for misdemeanor assault at Gamestop (the Snyder incident was reduced to a traffic citation for failure to stop). The teflon tard's criminal record is nuisance crimes.

You can claim to be Johnnie Cochran on the internet all you want but expect people to roll their eyes when you're comparing a sperg like Chris to armed robbers.

stick a wig and a medallion on this "armed" robber (it's a toy gun) and chris could totally be an armed robber. threw the gun right and the counter lady, ran out the door with his pants falling down.

 

[Luvs2Sperg789]

You can claim to be Johnnie Cochran on the internet all you want but expect people to roll their eyes when you're comparing a sperg like Chris to armed robbers.

I never compared him to armed robbers, tard. Maybe you speds have reading comprehension issues, or simply don’t understand the concept of hypothetical fact patterns.

Someone said he could only be locked up if he “seriously hurt someone.” This is a totally bullshit claim. All I did was provide a counter example wherein Chris could (theoretically) get locked up without causing physical injury to anyone, but of course you idiots are too thick to get that.

EDIT: Keep in mind, part of the context here is Barb dying, leaving the possibility that Chris could be homeless. I don’t know what reality you people inhabit, but IRL mentally deranged street people wind up in jail pretty frequently.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

stick a wig and a medallion on this "armed" robber (it's a toy gun) and chris could totally be an armed robber. threw the gun right and the counter lady, ran out the door with his pants falling down.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=GCoIS2jGGWU

lol was she going to hand his 'gun' back to him at the end there?

I never compared him to armed robbers, tard. Maybe you speds have reading comprehension issues, or simply don’t understand the concept of hypothetical fact patterns.

Someone said he could only be locked up if he “seriously hurt someone.” This is a totally bullshit claim. All I did was provide a counter example wherein Chris could (theoretically) get locked up without causing physical injury to anyone, but of course you idiots are too thick to get that.

EDIT: Keep in mind, part of the context here is Barb dying, leaving the possibility that Chris could be homeless. I don’t know what reality you people inhabit, but IRL mentally deranged street people wind up in jail pretty frequently.

I hope you only represent guilty parties because innocent defendants deserve better

 

[guccigash]

lol was she going to hand his 'gun' back to him at the end there?



I hope you only represent guilty parties because innocent defendants deserve better

she did kind of look like she wanted to hand it back to him.....i can picture the whole thing playing out now if it was our chris(tine):

"sir......sir......you forgot your toy gun! sir!!!"

and scene

 

[Luvs2Sperg789]

I don’t care if clients actually committed an offense or not; I still try my utmost, regardless. Everyone is entitled to a vigorous defense. Believe it or not, I’ve gotten some outright wins, and had many other cases disposed to my clients’ satisfaction. I’m no Robert Shapiro or anything though, and would never claim to be. Enough with the personal attacks then? I’m sorry I name-called. Also, I did totally forget how the Synder case resolved, so thanks for the correction.

Back on topic, who would have predicted in 2009 that a future Chris would be a weed smoking troon who slashed open his taint? I don’t think its outlandish to think that a homeless, vagrant, desperate Chris in 2029 could commit an offense which would give him a custodial sentence. Even without any serious life pressures he still has a history (documented on the internet) of stalking, trespass, and assualt. It doesn’t seem like a stretch to think his behavior could only get worse if his circumstances deteriorate.

 

[Smertest Wisard]

Back on topic, who would have...

Shit! Is it too late to make fun of this guy now?

 

[Luvs2Sperg789]

No, you can still make fun of me. I’m just living up to my forum handle again.

Chris is still getting the chair in all seriousness tho.

 

[guccigash]

Shit! Is it too late to make fun of this guy now?

That's no guy that's Annalise Keating. One of the most one dimensional poorly written characters ever to grace the small screen. "I don't care if my client committed an offence or not". I have never said this before but- sheesh.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

It's Barb's fault the thread is off topic because she hasn't died

 

[guccigash]

OK OK back to on topic.....bringing it back to basics though - when she does die. This thread is talking long term but the immediate situation, assuming it happens with just him and her......The actual experience on the day depends on one thing. Whether he finds her dead in her sleep or whatever or whether she has some sort of trauma has to go into hospital and he has to deal with all of that for however long or even some sort of rehab before the inevitable. There are other darker avenues as to how she goes that are part of some darker thread I guess. If someone just comes and fetches a dead body and he is left in the house and is unsupported by adult services then I guess he just slowly declines cos he's Chris. If she hits the hospital long term I dunno.....

 

[AnOminous]

Someone said he could only be locked up if he “seriously hurt someone.” This is a totally bullshit claim.

It's a statement about probabilities and it's pretty accurate. So long as Chris continues tarding out, committing utterly nothing offenses, and not actually hurting anyone, his teflon tard luck will probably hold out. Yes, it's possible to get thrown in prison for minuscule shit, but it doesn't happen very often, and hasn't happened to Chris even for more serious shit.

The autism card is a real thing.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Yeah, barring some sort of massive psychological breakdown (I'm talking even worse than this dimensional merge shit) Chris is not going to do anything truly serious enough to warrant jail time, let alone actual imprisonment.

Marvin and several others have said multiple times that Chris is a massive coward and not really inclined to violence all that much. He may bluster and rage from time to time, but he's not exactly violent aside from the GameStop macing incident in 2014. And that didn't even get him jail time. You could bring up hitting Snyder with his car in 2011, but a lot of that was because of Barb egging him on as well as Chris's shitty driving skills. Again, it got bumped down to a misdemeanor (mainly because Snyder pushed for leniency in court)

The most I could see Chris doing is what he currently does now, trespassing and other non-issue offenses. He may run out of luck with his autism card, but even then he'd probably at most do a few days or maybe a few weeks in the county lockup. Even that is unlikely.

My big concern is when the shoe does drop and Barb dies, what will Chris do in the short-term. This would be an even bigger shock than Bob's death and Chris is a lot worse off mentally now than he was when Bob died (and that is saying a lot) and while I am sure he wouldn't let Barb die in the Hoard, I do wonder how he will react to the initial shock of it all.

Also, I wonder what the Farms will do when Barb dies. Obviously, it will be a featured thread.

But I get the feeling that Null only keeps the Chris sub-forum around these days as a containment board of sorts and is pretty much waiting for Barb to die and Chris to go dark like he did in 2012, and I would not be surprised if this board gets moved to Spergatory and archived like the Deagle Nation board was.

Honestly, if Barb dies, chances are Chris will go dark and we won't here much from him. Even if he manages to avoid homelessness, he's probably not going to be as active on the internet like he was before. It's happened before.

The whole period between the Snyder incident in 2011 and the fire in 2014 was pretty much an uneventful and silent era, the only real Chris-related events of note being when he fucked the hooker and the Snyder trial. After that, pretty much nothing of note for nearly two years.

I imagine when Barb dies, it will be like that. Only this time it will be a much longer period of radio silence, possibly a permanent one if Chris really does end up homeless.

 

[Luvs2Sperg789]

Autism is a hell of a drug, and I’m on it!

I can see Chris going downhill fast if things change dramatically. Autists hate change; and a truly homeless Chris is a very worrying thought for me.

But I agree with you: on Chris’ current trajectory he’d probably have to rack up quite a few little charges before any jail would be a real consideration. The teflon would wear off eventually, but it would take a lot longer with Chris. He’s just so — exceptional.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Yeah, the group home is just not going to happen. It's been shot down multiple times for obvious reasons and yet people still bring it up as a possibility. As stated before, long-term time in jail is not likely either.

I think when Barb dies, we'll see Chris's reaction and after that, it will pretty much be the end of Chris's run as a lolcow. Even if he doesn't become homeless, he'll probably spend less time online and more time just trying to survive and make ends meet.

Homelessness is the most likely outcome at this point, since Chris burned his bridges with Null, The Captain, and the Charlottesville LGBT community. Maybe in the event of something as colossal as Barb's death, someone could get Chris set up in some cheap apartment or public housing but I doubt it.