The Plainsman (1936)
Wild Bill Hickok (Gary Cooper) is the only competent man within a 50 mile radius. Calamity Jane (Jean Arthur) is down bad for Bill. But he loves only one thing: GUNS!
The government hands out rifles during the Civil War, then some greasy dudes sell those guns to Native Americans. Classic American twist.
Then it all builds to the famous part where Wild Bill gets shot while playing poker, holding aces and eights.
So by this point Cecil B. DeMille has his style locked in. Nobody actually knows what Moses looked like. You can just invent whatever. But with Wild Bill Hickok, we know what the guy looked like, how he lived, how he died, who killed him… DeMille’s treating it like
What if Wild Bill Hickok was also Jesus and John Wayne at the same time.
DeMille wants to tell the entire myth of the Old West through one guy, First, Bill's this psychotic Indian fighter, just stomping around being a hardass. During the cavalry scenes he turns into the Duke: refusing to answer questions because they’re beneath him, yelling at soldiers, like they're his kids and he's pissed off that they knocked over a store display.
In the beginning he hooks up with Buffalo Bill (James Ellison) who’s settling down, getting married. Meanwhile Wild Bill is still mentally at war. They do establish his gun skills. He just wiggles his fingers like he’s casting a spell and then instantly kills five guys.
Halfway through the movie it becomes... a war epic? I thought we were searching for those rifles that were sold to Indians as “farming supplies,” which is the funniest euphemism. You gotta rotate your crops… and your ammunition.
Later, a blacked up Anthony Quinn arrives to announce that his tribe killed Custer.
In the last act, Wild Bill randomly becomes a pacifist, now he’s cowboy Jesus. Then he gets shot holding the dead man’s hand.
The women in general are written like hysterical obstacles. Jean Arthur's character consists of clinging to Wild Bill and yelling things like “Bill, you’re crazy!” or “You’re one mule-headed man, Bill!” so often that I started wishing I had a shot glass handy.
The movie does look expensive. Lots of extras, cavalry charges, location shooting. If all you want is cowboy action, it delivers. Just don't use your brain, even for a moment, to understand anything that happens in it.
Like how Bill can shoot guys in self-defense and be wanted for murder, but then later he just arrests an entire gang by himself like he’s the sheriff. Yeah he just walks into town like, “
I’m in charge now,” and everyone goes along with it.
My favorite part is when he tracks the gang on foot while they’re on horseback and wagons. No clues, no horse, nothing. He just psychically knows where they are. Professor X but for yee-haw crimes.
Verdict:
2 stars