Containment What If?

[CatParty]

What if Chris had a younger sister?

nick bate

 

[Henry Bemis]

It would likely be his only exposure to the Westermarck effect, which would possibly be the only sexual no-no he'd ever truly understand.

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

Re: What if OPL was trolled by SomethingAwful instead of 4ch

(Didn't SA already find Chris? I remember hearing somewhere once his very first nudes hit the internet, they shut down the Chris-chan thread.)

That being said, I think SA trolling would have probably gone in a different direction, with a lot less WEEN than some sagas -- if I had to guess, it'd be more along the lines of the Miyamoto saga, done primarily through email and attempting to convince Chris that, say, a publisher wants to print Sonichu as a comic book. Not to say that there wouldn't be some excesses, but I can't see SA trolling going so far as, say, BlueSpike and the trip to Ohio. They might even stop after a while when they found a new target.

In terms of how this would affect Chris...well, I'd imagine he'd find a way to rage against SA (kind of hard to come up with a clever derogatory name when "Awful" is already in the forum title), but going by what I said above, I'm not even sure if Chris would wind up altering the comic in such a way. He did that thanks to all the external trolling, and if SA's trolling is different, perhaps CWCville would still remain Chris' eternal hugbox.

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

He would probably look something like this

Re: What if Our Pet Lolcow got into a fistfight?

The only way chris could fight back is virally, I mean its probably not safe to even touch him, actually you probably couldnt even get near him cause of his cloud of flies and horrid stench

Re: What if OPL was trolled by SomethingAwful instead of 4ch

ED would of still documented it and probably would of still gotten involved either way

Re: What if Chris had been adopted by hippie artists?

Chris would probably still be chris, except he would probably be gayer and probably be like Adf-fuensalida

 

[CatParty]

how would this affect the trolling? would the popularity be bigger? would he flame out quicker? would things go the same or how different would things go?

 

[c-no]

Re: What if OPL was trolled by SomethingAwful instead of 4ch

ED would of still documented it and probably would of still gotten involved either way

True, even if 4ch was not involved, ED would still document it. If SomethingAwful trolled Chris, things would only be different without "ween". Chris would'nt have a 4-cent garbage buidling in the Sonichu comic. Instead, he would replace it a building that has a name like "Something Angry Crap" or something similar to that. His enemies would have to include people from SomethingAwful. Mainly those from SA that managed to troll him.

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

I don't know really. Anything could happen with Chris these days. Only rich and ambitious trolls could make use of this though.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Re: What if Our Pet Lolcow got into a fistfight?

His face is greasy enough to where it's almost like natural vaseline. So his face won't immediately break so that's a plus. That said I think champ's assessment of Cartman fighting is fairly accurate.

Assuming he tried to fight back he has little to no skill when it comes to punching and his kicks are laughably bad so offense is out of the question. I also doubt he has the dexterity or speed to put up any kind of defense. His one saving grace in a fight is his pain tolerance. Maybe it's me but I find it curiously inconsistent. On the one hand when he punched himself in a video he looked absolutely shocked at what pain actually is. On the other he stuck his duck in snow for 15 minutes seemingly with no issue. I'm going to say it is low but who knows.

Either way though he is getting straight whooped. Assuming he doesn't go down immediately he has no chance of putting up any kind of fight.

 

[Anon]

He would probably look something like this

I'm sorry but that's too badass, you'll have to try again.

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

I'm sorry but that's too badass, you'll have to try again.

Oh contrare, Chris has won the favor the Chaos God Nurgle. The lord of decay Loves the metaphorical AND physical shit out of Chris. Chris' lifestyle is extremely unhealthy in the facts that he never showers or cleans himself, and that he eats nothing but fast food, and that he thinks standing up while playing Guitar Hero is considered 'exercise'. His house is an unholy mess of junk that has been amassing for decades, and the soul of Chris' father now belongs to Nurgle, after being bitten to death by the insects that infest the house. Despite the advice from even his trolls telling him to do so, Chris defiantly refuses to change himself for the better (shower and clean self, improve looks, get a job), even if it would mean finally getting the china he so craves, sinking deeper and deeper into the wretched, decaying mire that is his house, particularly endears him to Nurgle. Doubtless to say that Chris-chan is a champion of Nurgle, and is destined to have his soul immediately bloated into a Great Unclean One upon death (which could be pretty soon) whether you like it or not!! and he'll take take his revenge apon the servants of Tzeentch(trolls)

 

[Anon]

I was going to post a picture of Nurgle and say that's what Chris is going to look like but I thought that might have been off-topic. Also even though Chris is the High Priest of Nurgle, he still wouldn't get cool cybernetics, this is Chris we're talking about.

It would likely be his only exposure to the Westermarck effect, which would possibly be the only sexual no-no he'd ever truly understand.

Chris is probably immune to the Westermarck effect.

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

I was going to post a picture of Nurgle and say that's what Chris is going to look like but I thought that might have been off-topic. Also even though Chris is the High Priest of Nurgle, he still wouldn't get cool cybernetics, this is Chris we're talking about.

Remember Nurgle is very generous and accepts EVERYONE

 

[TimBabinsky]

What if Chris had an older brother. A good older brother to guide him....

 

[Anon]

There would've been more videos with him singing. Megan still would've left.

 

[Julian]

All's I know is that there is no way Megan would have gone on the trip with Chris. That poor girl would feel so uncomfortable for his offer. It's likely that Chris would have ended up taking one if his parents after Megan's refusal.

 

[c-no]

Liek everyone has said, the Megan saga would end differently, Megan refuses to go eventually leading to the end of their friendship, Chris has a psp to sell, he might go to Penny Arcade Expo with someone like Barb or Bob, otherwise he wouldn't be able to go. If he did go to the expo, one would have to wonder what would happen there.

 

[TimBabinsky]

Imagine if she had like a friend over or something....

 

[jefferson]

It really depends on which parent she skewed towards. If she skewed towards barb,she'd be a good candidate for Maury or Dr Phil. Like chris she would never leave 14BC and would have an equally useless degree to Chris' CAD degree in graphic arts. She would spend her time getting her pussy slammed by various gentleman callers (perhaps even a few niggos) of the Greater Charlottsville area in the room adjacent to Chris'. The triumph of the JERKs a few feet away from him, would to end enrage the already miffed virgin with rage.

If she skewed towards bob she'd probably be depressed and have very few friends in her early life. Possibly cutting herself to cope. Despite the depression, she would excel in math and science and eventually go on to UVA or Virginia tech to study electrical or mechanical engineering. At college she would take winter/summer classes to avoid going home. After graduation , she would probably migrate north to a DC and work in a defense related industry. Bob would leave barb and Chris behind to live in DC with the care and support of his daughter who would be his pride and joy.

 

[CatParty]

Would she spoon with bob as Chris spoons with barb? Or would barb hoard both of them for her spooning pleasure?

But more than likely she'd get out of there as quickly as possible ala cole.

However it would be interesting to see a younger sibling around for the height of trolling.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Re: What if OPL was trolled by SomethingAwful instead of 4ch

Any threads about him would be gassed, because pants-shitting manchildren who blow their disability check on digital doo-dads are SA's prime demographic.