Containment What If?

[Mondo Zappa]

Honestly, every time I see Chris wearing something mom would wear or wearing girls clothes, I seriously think he's Norman Bates.

Now that you mention it... When's the last time anyone's seen Barb?

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

I don't think Christina's lovequest would go on nearly as long as Chris' has. She also wouldn't have had to wait so long to lose her virginity. Theres actually a fair amount of immature attractive girls out there. Most are probably not playing legos and shit on the regular but yknow. I also knew a girl who had some sort of disease that gave her bad bowl control. She would occasionally smell bad as a kid but once she got older she didn't have any problems in the relationship realm.


In my opinion, Christina's problem would be a very common one, getting a man to stay. Chris has a hard time getting them to be facebook friends.

Also, if he went around with that attraction sign bullshit, being an attractive woman, he'd find himself both banned from stores and in jail much more frequently.

Really? Why do you think so? I figured the attraction sign is creepier for a man to walk around with.

 

[fridgesrants]

If Chris ever came to Central Florida I would definitely take him out for a meal. I just want to meet him and get experience his weirdness in person. I wonder how he would react if I took him to a nice restaurant?

Are you a woman? Because if you are, he'll take it as a sign that you want to fuck. If you aren't, he'll probably also take it as a sign that you want to fuck and react with suspicion and disgust.

No I am a dude and have a girlfriend. I just want to meet Chris IRL just to experience it.

 

[Axiom]

Also, if he went around with that attraction sign bullshit, being an attractive woman, he'd find himself both banned from stores and in jail much more frequently.

Really? Why do you think so? I figured the attraction sign is creepier for a man to walk around with.

My guess is that Fem!Chris would a) attract more attention that way, which would b) possibly lead to allegations or charges of attempted prostitution.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

"JULIAAAAAAAAAAN!"

 

[brooklynbailiff]

She'd shit her panties and do nothing.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

A lot of us have lost our wallets before. And yes we freak out and so do I. Luckily these days through technology, objects can be replaced pretty quickly. Even money, assuming you have a job and smart enough to prevent identity theft, can be replaced believe it or not. I'm assuming Chris doesn't know about these services and how even local government departments will assist in providing replacement IDs too pretty quickly if they got lost in wallets. So, if Chris lost his wallet, how would he react? Or would he just his pants and do nothing?

 

[A-Stump]

I'm pretty sure he probably spends money as quick as he gets it anyways

 

[Axiom]

Someone who doesn't know who he is might find it and try using it to steal his identity, but the joke will be on them, because there aren't too many identities worse to end up with than Chris's.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

Someone who doesn't know who he is might find it and try using it to steal his identity, but the joke will be on them, because there aren't too many identities worse to end up with than Chris's.

Too bad Chris doesn't realize that he can order a replacement card after canceling it with the click of a link or in some cases, find the nearest bank and tell the employee about his situation. But without personal info, he's SOL since bank employees need personal info before they can carry on with their requests. And boy does that suck; especially the possibility that Chris's SSN card probably burned up in his house during the fire.

 

[garbageraider]

Then he/she might actually have the chance to reproduce and pass on his/her genes, which is scary to think about.

Someone who doesn't know who he is might find it and try using it to steal his identity, but the joke will be on them, because there aren't too many identities worse to end up with than Chris's.

Imagine somebody finding his wallet, and then googling his name afterwards. God, I'd love to see they see the results.

 

[Some JERK]

The "what if?" forum is turning into madlibs.

 

[Andrew Noel Schaefer]

If he has a debit card or something in it, Hes screwed. He would have no idea how to replace it, and whoever stole it would probobly buy about a thousands doller worth of Itunes crap or something. It happend to me once, really.

 

[exball]

He'd have lost his wallet and go buy a new one.

 

[CatParty]

BUT HOW WOULD HE BUY A PINT OF MILK WITH OUT HIS WALLET?!?!?!!?!?

but seriously, you answered, your question

Or would he just his pants and do nothing?

 

[Really makes you thunk]

and whoever stole it would probobly buy about a thousands doller worth of Itunes crap or something. It happend to me once, really.

Why didn't this person just pirate the stuff s/he got on Itunes instead? It's still "stealing", except this way s/he wouldn't get caught

 

[Pikonic]

If a normal person loses their wallet, they take the steps to immediately cancel any cards to avoid damage from someone who might have taken it, you'll lose any cash, but that's life.
If Chris loses his wallet, he'd freak out and Facebook that trolls have stolen it, focusing more on the blame game than damage control

 

[Blue Max]

A lot of us have lost our wallets before. And yes we freak out and so do I. Luckily these days through technology, objects can be replaced pretty quickly. Even money, assuming you have a job and smart enough to prevent identity theft, can be replaced believe it or not. I'm assuming Chris doesn't know about these services and how even local government departments will assist in providing replacement IDs too pretty quickly if they got lost in wallets. So, if Chris lost his wallet, how would he react? Or would he just his pants and do nothing?

This was an extremely likely scenario given the presence of the hoard. Chris sets his wallet down, and then it falls or slides into a gigantic pile of stuff.

It's the sort of scenario that forces people to make major cleans of their stuff until they're able to retrieve it. Chris, I guess, wouldn't do this and instead play Vidya. But think about what exactly this means:

We've got to remember that by and large Chris doesn't need his wallet to do most of what he does. As long as he has cash in his pocket, he can go to McDs. He shouldn't drive without his Drivers license, but even CWC probably has less than a 1 in 500 shot of being busted for other reasons on the road. (This isn't a great figure; I personally have been driving for seven years and have not ever been pulled over and I'm sure a lot of us can say the same). The point is that CWC getting busted on this is considerably more improbable than having a fake heartsweet show up in his inbox.

His Social Security Card is needed for getting a job, or perhaps making changes to social security. The latter is more important than the former, but he could potentially go years without doing anything about it.

Money is an obvious problem. If he loses it, he loses it but most people don't stash all their cash in their wallet. Losing $20 sucks, but it's far from hopeless for CWC.

What if he loses his Tugboat Check?

That's everything he needs at once. But Chris, potentially, could have the check reissued. It is, once again, a smaller hassle than digging through the hoard. And Chris might stall a day on it, but he needs it and he knows it. The Tugboat sails five days later.

---

With the great damage to 14 Branchland in the January Fire, this isn't the likely way he loses his wallet. Threats of identity theft could emerge--but after the Liquid Chris saga, Chris' losertastic credit means that little will actually happen. There may still be a call to police when people find out what is going wrong, but it wouldn't lead to much damage.

The only thing that would really screw Chris is if he somehow lost his wallet RIGHT AFTER he cashed his SSI check. Then he'd be down a tugboat; but the way he lives he splurges till its gone than mooches off mom. More splurging from mom, I guess.

 

[Hyperion]

Chris would put on his best tomgirl attire and use Barb's purse.

 

[cahoots]

If Chris loses his wallet, he'd freak out and Facebook that trolls have stolen it, focusing more on the blame game than damage control

Chris has the childish mentality and paranoia that if he can't find something, it MUST have been stolen. Most people grow out of that mindset when they are children but it's only been reinforced by Barb and her claims that if she can't immediately find her replica Dali in the hoard, then a firefighter must have stolen it. Its not that you misplaced it, its that someone else intervened to cause you trouble. Always blame someone else.

Chris would put on his best tomgirl attire and use Barb's purse.

Also this.