Containment What If?

[champthom]

I've had worse roommates.

I'd probably have to wear a gas mask though for the smell.

 

[CatParty]

I'd keep my money far, far away from him.

That's a very good point. He's stolen from his parents on multiple occasions.

He also has no motivation at all to keep his surroundings clean. (As evidenced by his bathroom and the disturbing amount of dust build up in his room)

He would rack up an insane electric bill from all his stuff.

Would he keep up with rent and bills?

The only positive I can think of is you wouldn't have to interact with him much as he'd probably never leave his room.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

...and were put on a partner mission to retrieve blueprints of an Imperial weapon system, say some revolutionary Star Destroyer variant which is built around a so-called Singularity Gun which fires black holes, that are hidden somewhere in Hutt Space on an undisclosed planet?

 

[cypocryphy]

He would give up playing any sport after a few minutes.

If he played for any football club, he would be substituted after a few minutes of playing because he would be too tired.

He'd score a goal with the hand of godbear.

 

[Maloongoo]

He probably considers playing Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon TCG to be a sport

 

[pickleniggo]

DIRTY, CRAPPED WORLD.

STEP 1: Block off everything I own, buy air fresheners in bulk.
STEP 2: Set up secret live feed in his room.
STEP 3: Profit.

 

[CatParty]

They'd die.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

^That's what I thought.

The Rebel Alliance would really have to be scraping the bottom of the barrel to send those two on an important mission.

That, or they would be a decoy so the Empire would focus on getting them while the Rebels focused on a more important goal.

 

[Linako 2.0]

he would stink up evreything
he doesn't have a job so he can't help in paying rent or buy groceries
he'd scare off visitors
worst of all he might mess up my computer just by touching it.
I'd kick him out without remorse

 

[LordCustos3]

A diet consisting of only meat will make it smell bad and will loosen the bowels causing incontinence, but one lacking meat will make it smell just as bad, but without the embarrassment of having frequent accidents.

Wait wait wait....that flies in the face of everything I've ever learned.
An all-meat diet would surely lead to massive constipation and finally colon blockage, while an all-veg should lead to constant gassiness and diarrhea, surely.
We are all omnivores and a balanced diet is what our metabolism (and colon) requires for optimum health. Or at least that is my assertion.

I suspect Chris'tard's leaky colon is not because of too much meat....but because of too much "meat" in sarcastic air-quotes.
If he ate a steak every day, instead of a patties of reconstituted abbatoir detritus, he wouldn't have as many "accidents".

That said, I suspect his laziness (and unswerving focus on saving the princess) is the bigger factor in him not making it to bathroom. The overabundance of dirty-crapped-beef in his diet just makes a bad situation worse.

^That's what I thought.

The Rebel Alliance would really have to be scraping the bottom of the barrel to send those two on an important mission.

That, or they would be a decoy so the Empire would focus on getting them while the Rebels focused on a more important goal.

"Many Bloat-hian spies died to spread this disinformation."

 

[The Hunter]

A diet consisting of only meat will make it smell bad and will loosen the bowels causing incontinence, but one lacking meat will make it smell just as bad, but without the embarrassment of having frequent accidents.

Wait wait wait....that flies in the face of everything I've ever learned.
An all-meat diet would surely lead to massive constipation and finally colon blockage, while an all-veg should lead to constant gassiness and diarrhea, surely.
We are all omnivores and a balanced diet is what our metabolism (and colon) requires for optimum health. Or at least that is my assertion.

Thank you for finally giving me an answer on that. While all my references were permissible, I'd suspect they would be biased to some extent.

But yeah, an optimal diet is one with a healthy balance of meat and vegetables. And again, who cares about crap.

 

[LordCustos3]

....And again, who cares about crap.

I'm sure anyone who has had a blocked colon has crap very clearly in their thoughts. I suspect they can't really think of anything else, really.

 

[cypocryphy]

He'd be playing "Little Big Planet" while I'm trying to get some damn sleep. It would drive me nuts.

I'd also give him purple nurples until he reveals all his secrets to me

 

[Fialovy]

I'm going to go all "It's a Wonderful Life" on you and think about a world without Chris.

First of all, if Chris was never born, a lot of us wouldn't have become such good friends and for me, I wouldn't have met my boyfriend because the CWCki forums would not have existed obviously.

I mean, just think about it, even the most seemingly worthless person still makes a huge difference, even indirectly and just... something interesting to think about.

Discuss.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

I'd lock him in the attic and feed him a bucket of Mcnuggets every week.

 

[Night Terror]

I think I'd be a lot more bored.

 

[The Hunter]

My house isn't incredibly big. There's three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, dining room, kitchen, and what used to be a garage (it was made into another room for my sisters). We're a family of six. Each room in the house is taken, and we don't want Chris sleeping with ANYBODY. The living room is quite spacious, in my opinion, but it's about the size of on of our rooms (which aren't really that big now that I think about it). I wouldn't want him staining the sofa either. I'd either have him sleep on the floor of the hallway, the toilet, or outside on one of the old futons that my dog uses as a bed. If all else fails, there's a small shed in the backyard. The doors are falling off and barely functional, it's mostly taken up by fertilizer, Christmas decorations, and tools, there's a lawnmower in the center of it, the wood on the floor is warped, and there are many rats and bees that inhabit it during the winter and summer respectively. But not to worry, this is the nice side of town which is why the house costs so damn much. Not that it matters. We still get plenty of stuff stolen off of us when we're not looking. Oh, and most importantly, if he's gonna be living under our roof, he's gonna have to pitch in and help around the house. So no, it's not that I wouldn't be able to bear him, I think Chris just wouldn't like living in my house. Too much stuhress.

 

[Surtur]

I'd still be lurking on AtariAge, blowing my money on more plastic crap.

 

[Saney]

I'd have no one to complain about Loveshies to.

 

[Null]

I'd be working right now.

It's also been really fun listening to the Father Calls with a friend of mine, so we'd probably be missing out on some conversations about Chris.