Containment What If?

[Kosher Dill]

i have a jar of pennies ready.

And I killed Sonic, so I think we've got all the necessary prep work out of the way.

 

[Sakamoto]

They would have been able to teach Chris to deal with his autism, allowing him to fit in with society better. Asking regular teachers to deal with "special" students is like asking the Spanish teacher to take over the algebra class. Special ed teachers are trained for what they do.

Would Chris still be stupid? Probably, but there are lots of stupid people who don't make asses of themselves. But I think Chris might have been taught to control his behavior, we probably wouldn't have had things like the attraction sign, the curse-ye-ha-me-ha, getting banned from the Mall and GAMePLACe. Today he'd probably just be another loser on welfare living in a house full of trash and we wouldn't be here talking about him.

 

[Dr RobotDick]

He might actually be a (more) functioning member of society. Like my fellow MD said, there's usually some sort of vocational program in place to make sure the students are productive after they graduate. So, Chris MIGHT have been be able to get some sort of certification with a deliberate purpose instead of an A.A. that he has no idea what to do with. They'd probably teach him simple shit too, like how to cook a meal for himself instead of relying on fast food for sustenance. He would also probably make a couple of male friends, since the students would be more likely to view him as an equal instead of ignoring him or hucking pennies at him. All of which would have given him some hope for the future.

I feel it's necessary to qualify all this with a "might" or "probably", just because there's also a chance that he would have spent the whole time acting like a grumpy, entitled prick, and get nothing out of the experience.

 

[pickleniggo]

Honestly, I don't think there are very many people here who can authoritatively speak to the effectiveness of special education. My personal impression has always been that its purpose is more to keep "exceptional individuals" from disrupting the learning environment for normal kids than anything else.

I dunno. I've known a few people with siblings who were either autistic or retarded that were enrolled in special schools. These kids learned to function a lot better than the speds that were allowed to roam the halls (and do little else) in my high school. Just sayin'.

 

[Dr RobotDick]

Honestly, I don't think there are very many people here who can authoritatively speak to the effectiveness of special education. My personal impression has always been that its purpose is more to keep "exceptional individuals" from disrupting the learning environment for normal kids than anything else.

I dunno. I've known a few people with siblings who were either autistic or retarded that were enrolled in special schools. These kids learned to function a lot better than the speds that were allowed to roam the halls (and do little else) in my high school. Just sayin'.

Yeah. I was friendly with two kids from my hometown that went to a special ed type school. My fascination with people who aren't "normal" goes far beyond the internet. One of them is actually an autistic dude who has some sort of printing job now and lives on his own. He still has some autistic eccentricities, but he seems to be doing pretty well for himself.

 

[Bridechu]

My mother was a special ed assistant for a number of years and I've volunteered a lot. It would have helped Chris, but I don't know if it would have been enough. Kids are only in school six hours a day, so a home life that's not supporting what they're learning will overpower even the best education. And then once he "graduated", he would just devolve into the wreck you see today under Borb's constant care. Maybe if the school got him into adult programs and housing when he reached majority he'd be a functioning member of society.

 

[Pikonic]

Didn't Chris mostly just get into Sailor Moon because Meg was into it?

Mostly? Try Entirely

 

[Bridechu]

There is one last alternative to consider, Medabots. Basically pokemon but with interchangeable parts... and they are armed with guns and missiles. CWC with a robotic killing machine (since I'm sure Chris knows nothing of the rules of robotics) to take revenge on the trolls.

I was really into Medabots as a kid, which no one else was at the time. I should watch the series in order some time...

 

[Panzerkampfpony]

Given Chris's total lack of creative thought it would probably be the game Sonic Adventure staring Sonichu with pokemon training, a free roam CWCvile, and a possible dating sim in which Chris woos boyfriend free girls, beats up Jerkops who try and stop him and maybe he has to beat Mary lee Walsh in a guitar hero match.

It would basically be an ego driven mess, trying to cram in every element, set piece, and character from Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon that he remembers to plagiarise, all the while trying to have a game about his chaotic combo and be life story about himself, his quest for china and a revenge fantasy against various people and groups.

So yeah something utterly unplayable and bizarre with the most cramped collection of gameplay elements, story, narrative and tone ever seen in any piece of interactive media.

 

[Pikonic]

What if instead of McDonalds, Chris frequented Subway? Don't ask me why I thought of this.

 

[Watcher]

The idea of Chris learning how to use Flash and having the patience to do a simple animation would impress the hell out of me.

 

[Pikonic]

I guess the only thing we do now is…wait for tomorrow

 

[Pine Tar]

Chris's best content has come from him essentially trolling himself. All of his edits to ED? He did that. Shecameforcwc.jpg? He did that all on his own. Him going apeshit over that cheating Adam Stackhouse? No one prodded him. Him going berserk over Liquid Chris? It was just something Liquid did for fun. Chris wanting to destroy Asperchu? All him. And Tomgirl? Well, that all came from Jackie telling him to get in touch with his feminine side and he took that first down all the way to the endzone.

We don't really need trolls aside from reporting all the dumb shit Chris does and anyone who disagrees with me is a JULAYing ween kid.

 

[Watcher]

Chris pretty much is his own worst troll

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

A Wild CWC appeared.
Go Manjerk!
Manajerk used logic and reason.
It had no effect.
CWC used Self-Righteous Rage.
It's not very effective.
Manajerk used Security,
It's super effective.
Wild CWC fled!

 

[sparklemilhouse]

What if instead of McDonalds, Chris frequented Subway? Don't ask me why I thought of this.

It would take him 30 damn minutes to order a sandwich, I'm sure.


--

What if Chris went out in full tomgirl at nearby University of Virginia, and some douchey frat bro invited him to a pig party?

I guess the only thing we do now is…wait for tomorrow

Oh snap it is tomorrow

 

[Overcast]

I'd imagine he would be leering at all the women in bikinis, and maybe even stalking them.

If he was wearing a regular swim suit, I'd imagine it would accidentally come off of him in the water and everyone would get a view of his horrible bent duck.

He would then be banned from the beach. Pushing Chris farther and farther into solitude.

What kind do you think he'd be? If he came to your house one day, lost and alone, would you want to keep him? What kind of activities would you want to do with him? Would you put him to work as a mouser, a herder, ect.? Or would you just put the poor ol' boy down?

 

[Watcher]

He wouldn't be house broken so he'd have to be put down

I wouldn't want a DIRTY CRAPPED WELCOME MAT

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

I have the first 30 episodes of Power Rangers on dvd. That might keep him stable while I beat the crap out of whoever is forcing us to hang out.

 

[Count groudon]

I'd replace all his drinks with pickle juice and then sing a little song called "sonic is dead"