Since converting I do feel better and more at peace, yes. Talking to Jesus regularly even with a casual conversation tone is another thing that is helping me unrot my brain.
I guess it's because of the book autism itself. I meant what I wrote in the OP literally, so everyone was correct taking it at face value.
We are meant to have a personal relationship with him; he wants us to acknowledge his constant presence with us so that he can be glorified in our actions. Don't stop talking to him, he will talk back, he usually tells me things I don't want to hear.
Find something you are actually interested in, and then use it as a foundation to build out your ability to pay attention to things you arent interested in (ie if i do X, i can then do Y that I actually care about)
I find that when you are telling yourself things that you would never say about or to yourself, it's likely the person of The Holy Spirit responding to your prayers. I'm 7 months sober after 23 years of drinking every day, all day, it wasn't any of me that had a hand in any of that.