What are you guys bringing to my wedding?

[Catler]

I'm getting married to @Rozzy and @JethroTullamore in May at the AnthrOhio furcon. It's going to be a big, fun event and all of Q&A is invited, but since there's no gift registry I gotta know: what are guys bringing for us?

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

a flamethrower, it is a gift for all the guests.

 

[Scolopendra Dramatica]

A peace treaty for you and a rabies shot for me. I'll be sat on the uncomfy side of the congregation with your poor family. I'm picturing the wedding from UP but with a lot more carpetsample suits... sir, I do not like it. I want to go home.

 

[Finger Pistols]

A three-sided dildo. For the three of you to enjoy on your wedding night. And no, I will not attend any after party you invite me to.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Full body condoms for the guests bc you three fags are going to spread aids.

 

[Catler]

A three-sided dildo. For the three of you to enjoy on your wedding night. And no, I will not attend any after party you invite me to.

So like a fidget spinner? Cool!
The after party isn't optional btw.

 

[Whatevermancer]

A cheesegrater.

 

[ComStar]

A big basket of individually gift-wrapped cyanide pills. Three for every guest.

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

A big spray bottle filled with water, the archenemy of felonious feline faggots like you.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Sawdust to put down on the oil stains in your garage so the people dancing don't get their shoes dirty.

 

[eatler]

Catnip laced with coke, I will prompty eat all your food (so long as it’s actually food not catnip) and vacate the premises before addiction sets in. You and the guests are welcome to buy more from me later.

 

[Mr.Miyagi]

I imagine this will get more use than the usual kitchen appliances.

 

[Dysnomia]

I'm gifting you a toaster and instructing everyone else to do so too.

 

[Malicious Internet Entity]

A fully automatic assault rifle chambered with .308 winchester rounds, a dirty bomb containing plutonium, two gallons of VX nerve agent, 11 automated switchblade anti personnel drones and a large soda.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Various spicy sauces. I like sharing my collection.

 

[The Magnificence]

A gym bag full of used jock straps. It's a family tradition.

 

[Rozzy]

I'm bringing a gold wedding ring for @Catler , he'll look so stunning in his Tails fursuit.

 

[SandyCat]

Can I bring a sandwich?

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Lysol spray for the smell.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]