vlog | trader joes haul, taste test, & getting stuff done [08/31/2020]

[Foamless]

why the hell you guys angry at Amber for "rebranding" her channel but nothing changes
come on. this is the same person who cant be bothered to take water from the water dispenser and drinking from bottled water instead.

 

[KiwiKunt!!]

I knew our girl would not let us down

 

[Paulie #1]

Damn our little gorly upgraded from Walmart to Trader Joes. But then again all she got was the same sugary pre-packaged bullshit.

 

[dacwcman68]

But taking the extra minutes to cook it themselves wastes valuable “shoveling it in” time.

I guess time truly is precious when you wake up at 2 in the afternoon every day and your life expectancy peaks at 35, how inconsiderate of me.

 

[Quirky Calories]

She’s rebranding, y’all.

Is her shelf-ass getting bigger?
That arm, though.

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she even has a shelf ass on each arm

 

[pistolwhipped]

Why do these deathfats feel the need to show us all their unhealthy, sugar laden food, but then claim it really belongs to whomever they live with? Amber tries to convince us that all those cookies and other junk belonged to Becky because her "sweet tooth was poppin!"

Amber really thinks that if she prefaces her junk food show-and-tell with "it's for Becky" or "Becky chose this" we're not going to know that she's the one who's gonna inhale the bulk of it. Deathfats and food addicts literally can't have junk food in their houses because they can't stop themselves from eating it. Even if it was meant to be bought for Becky, we all know Hamber won't be able to keep her grubby sausage fingers off of it.

Damn, TJ's really snagged a couple white whales here (pun intended). If it was a public company I'd say now's the time to invest in some stock because their sales boutta go waaaaay up.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Amber really thinks that if she prefaces her junk food show-and-tell with "it's for Becky" or "Becky chose this" we're not going to know that she's the one who's gonna inhale the bulk of it. Deathfats and food addicts literally can't have junk food in their houses because they can't stop themselves from eating it. Even if it was meant to be bought for Becky, we all know Hamber won't be able to keep her grubby sausage fingers off of it.

It seems to also be a pattern on MSHPL. The nutritionist looks at the cupboards and sees all kinds of food that she is not supposed to eat and always says that it is for her son/daughter/husband/etc. Then, she is surprised that she lost only 4 pounds at the appointment after telling everyone that she works so hard at the diet.
Our dynamic duo is supposed to be on WW and they are trying to lose weight. It does not matter for whom the sweets and junk food are supposed to be, they should not buy them. We know and they know that they will eat everything eventually. We know and they know that most of her meals are takeaways and sitdown restaurants. They are in the "I will start my diet tomorrow" infinite loop.

 

[Twa Corbies]

"The kiwi starfruit refreshers"

Three words that dont quite come close to describing an actual food-like object.

 

[pot of sneed]

I was watching through again since it was late when I watched the video last night (going a full 24 hours without sleep does that to a body) but these scene in particular caught my attention when Amber was fading out into the next scene outside near the end. The tongue just had to make it's appearance and now this horror is lurking at the back of my mind.

 

[fvckm3]

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I was watching through again since it was late when I watched the video last night (going a full 24 hours without sleep does that to a body) but these scene in particular caught my attention when Amber was fading out into the next scene outside near the end. The tongue just had to make it's appearance and now this horror is lurking at the back of my mind.

thrusty mcTungy is at it again

tbh, theres nothing more disgustingly poetic then a OG video from amberlynn that includes a crossfade with her tongue out

 

[SassyAndMorbidlyObese]

she even has a shelf ass on each arm

You can literally cut and paste her head and it should fit in each upper arm. Like something out of a horror movie...

 

[TomatilloSalsa]

You know, with the money she makes, she could have financed for a brand new 2020 van, so she’d fit comfortably inside the vehicle, it’d hold their weight, and less likely to cause them problems early on, but I guess too small torrid clothes that don’t fit or won’t wear, journals, teen books, and massive amounts of take out is more important, priorities.

A minivan or one of those big delivery vans would conflict with the dainty Instagram gorl image.

If they get a new car, AL will insist on it being a Jeep Wrangler with a removable top because she's a young fun Cali gorl. And then she will try to climb into it, fail miserably, and decide that she will just let Becky go run all her errands for her from now on because her car anxieteeee has come back.

 

[EvaBraunsGhost]

I know I've seen it mentioned on other videos but the awkward way she uses utensils gives me fucking anxiety

I've honesty known three year olds with more dexterity than this hog

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

why the hell you guys angry at Amber for "rebranding" her channel but nothing changes
come on. this is the same person who cant be bothered to take water from the water dispenser and drinking from bottled water instead.

What's the over/under on ALR drinking from the water dispenser in an upcoming video to prove to the haydurs she uses it but it's become stagnant from disuse and she develops Legionnaires

 

[Your_Fairy_Wish_Prince]

I think what gets me the most about Hamber is that even when she tries to eat well she ends up eating like shit. All that sweet stuff, just because it has fruit in it doesn't mean that its good for you. Candied fruit has a TON of sugar. Its like she has the mentality of a high schooler, just because all that garbage food comes from Trader Joes doesn't mean that its healthy. You can lose weight shopping/ buying food from Wal-Mart, you can eat CLEAN shopping at Wal-Mart. A trick to doing that is to just buy food from around the edges of the store because that is where most the fresh produce is located.

All the trash she produces makes me ill, and I am not even a environmentalist hippie.

Trash food, trash body, trash mind.

How fucking hard is it to put together a fucking rectangle?

She looks like a granny who is wearing an Elvira wig.

edit:grammar and spelling

Spoiler

Look I get it, sometimes its super hard to lose weight because of shit beyond your control, such as using a Depo shot as birth control ( power level: I know that is a shit excuse but I used it gained 35 pounds went off of it and lost 35 pounds birth control can be a bitch) , steroid shots for illness, hormones being out of wack, depression. But she has NONE of these problems and its infuriating. She somehow managed to dodge her fat ass away from the cancer bullet and nothing has changed, except where she lives. Its mind blowing to me.

 

[Punkinsplice]

Ok, so she is just paying more for the same old shit. I guess she hasn't realized that the cost of living is much higher in Lexington (or doesn't give a shit). She must really believe that her "rebranding" is going to bring in the YT coin again. Or she is planning on ignoring all of those medical debts. Or bolth.

Why am I disappointed that she has learned nothing from her cancer saga? I would feel better if she had actually faked cancer. As repulsive as faking cancer would be, it would be less disgusting than seeing her completely disregard how she dodged a fucking self inflicted bullet in recent months. Cancer surgery was not a year ago. It was last fucking month. Wow.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

It absolutely blows my goddamn mind how Necky and Hamburger have such a nice kitchen with a full gas range and clearly unlimited throwaway money to buy nice cookware/cutlery/etc. and yet 99% of the food they buy consists of microwave box meals. You could make a fucking mac and cheese that's infinitely better than Trader Joe's boxed microwave throw-up with cheese, pasta, butter and milk and I know they have all of that shit in excess there. The sheer laziness of them both to do the bare minimum is astonishing.

Not only that, but the cheap melamine dollar store place settings... I don't get it. Well, I do -- it's a combination of poor impulse control, shitty taste, and not understanding what "quality" means. Everything she has is either disposable or semi-disposable, so she always has the excuse to run out and buy more garbage.

And they have loads of free time to experiment. It’s not like either one of them is busy working a full time job. They have seven days a week to look up recipes and go to the grocery store for ingredients and play in the kitchen. I think I’ve said this before, but cooking adventures would even give her some video content, if she ventured past her standbys of pasta or soup abortions.

She can't follow a recipe. First of all, she has no idea how to cook -- from knife skills to common sense, she doesn't fucking get it. Remember when someone told her to put some garlic powder on her salmon? Remember the fucking onions?

But also, she's so stubbornly childish that simply following someone else's instructions is giving up too much control over her food. "Bake at 350 for ten minutes? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, BON APPETIT?! Just because you created the recipe doesn't mean you get to tell me what doooooo!" You see this in everything she does and fails miserably at, but it's most pronounced with food.

 

[Din Djarin]

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I know I've seen it mentioned on other videos but the awkward way she uses utensils gives me fucking anxiety

I've honesty known three year olds with more dexterity than this hog

As a fellow left hander like Amberlynn, I can relate to the way she holds things. I don't really know how to describe it but there's really no other way to comfortably hold a fork or spoon (at least in my experience)

 

[Smoovy Jay]

But also, she's so stubbornly childish that simply following someone else's instructions is giving up too much control over her food. "Bake at 350 for ten minutes? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, BON APPETIT?! Just because you created the recipe doesn't mean you get to tell me what doooooo!" You see this in everything she does and fails miserably at, but it's most pronounced with food.

And then she has to doubledown and insist she likes her food that way. "I'm a drah gorl" but all the fast food shit she loves isn't dry. She can't cook for shit so insists she loves her overcooked salmon and chicken.

 

[giga melt]

Of course she didn’t go into TJ’s

1. People like to pretend it’s healthy in there but it’s not and Amber would gotten quite some stares.

2. There’s no scooters and she didn’t film. It’s so obvious when she just films in the car.

3. TJ’s is tiny and always busy, there’s no way she could fit through the aisles so she face-timed with Becky.

You're absolutely right. It'd be like Amber trying to slog through an Aldi (we have those around here instead of TJ, same parent company) but she's shown her ability to walk she could lean on a cart. It's ridiculous. She's gonna recluse more and more now that they're in a city with people who are more health conscious (or pretend to be) like even if Lexington is FatFuck Central, Kentucky, that city mindset will still be there. I honestly think moving to Lexginton instead of somewhere more secluded and cheaper will propel her faster into Bed Bound Saga.

our patron saint of WW points & eating in moderation

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thank you so much i finally have an icon of our gorl i can be proud of

Why she would decide to straighten unwashed hair is beyond comprehension, as is why she would repeatedly apply heat to the same limp, grease heavy section of hair 8 times in a fucking row. I suppose when your hairline is already receding, you might as well just go for it. I’m sure smelling like burnt dirty hair will make Becky’s family finally like her.

this pisses me off more than anything in the world like not to power level but i've talked about being a beautician on here before and amber straightens her hair like an 8 year old burning off her bangs on youtube i just cringe so much at her hair and skin i feel unclean

"The kiwi starfruit refreshers"

Three words that dont quite come close to describing an actual food-like object.

i hate to be the one to break it to you my man, but kiwi? is a food