Twitter 2/22 - Chris on seeing his dad naked

[A Grey Cat]

Fear of sex? That contradicts the hooker he had sex with.

And the fact that he used every opportunity to mention "lol I'm a virgin please gimmie China." And practically begged for sex when he was on his love quest. He only called it a love quest and claimed it was about finding true love and a woman to bear his daughter with to sound more wholesome and like his motives weren't a desperate plea for sex since the years where it's supposedly easy to get laid (the mid to late High School/teen years) were suddenly gone and behind him.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

Fear of sex? That contradicts the hooker he had sex with.

I would not be surprised if those were the scariest few minutes of Chris's life (so far)

Except he was like 5 or something, so he couldn't just groan and avert his eyes like an adult would. He just freaked the fuck out and it stuck in his head for years.

Now I can't get this image out of my head

I tried to photoshop a recreation from behind bob but there are literally no search terms that can give me the PG-13 rating. It's either kids playing with grandpa in the park or full-on lemonparty.

 

[Chan Fan]

My friend’s Dad walked around without a shirt on at home pretty much all the time and he was a senior investigator for the police. All men are gross to some degree within the privacy & comfort of their own houses. You also have to remember that Bob was from an era where it was completely fucking fine and dandy to smoke while pregnant and allow your kids to roam the neighborhood freely. If Bob was maybe 10 years younger when he had Chris (basically Barb’s age) he would’ve beat his ass the moment he started getting hassled over his hygiene. Also it’s probably really inconvenient trying to enact corporal punishment when you have to make your way through a maze of garbage to find the beatin’ stick.

Shirtless is very different than pantsless, regardless of age. Shirtless may not always be pleasant but it's less likely you'll be traumatized by it.

 

[Dick Ramdass]

He's bisexual, remember?

Also it was just Barb Chris wanted to fuck not Bob.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Also it was just Barb Chris wanted to fuck not Bob.

Despite being gay, incest, and gerontophiliac, the thought of Bob and Chris doin’ a bit of the ol’ in-out-in-out is still far less horrifying to imagine than Chris spooning his blimp of a mother.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Fear of sex? That contradicts the hooker he had sex with.

How would you like to bet that the state of Virginia is now paying for a poor woman's PTSD treatments after seeing Chris nude and having to touch that disgusting bent duck?

 

[Argh My Cigar]

How would you like to bet that the state of Virginia is now paying for a poor woman's PTSD treatments after seeing Chris nude and having to touch that disgusting bent duck?

Didn’t she stop promoting herself after having Chris as a client? This woman might’ve had a massive wake-up call after she left the motel. Chris may have unintentionally motivated a hooker to massively rethink her life choices since they led to a bent duck getting wedged inside her.

 

[Subconcious Offense]

Didn’t she stop promoting herself after having Chris as a client? This woman might’ve had a massive wake-up call after she left the motel. Chris may have unintentionally motivated a hooker to massively rethink her life choices since they led to a bent duck getting wedged inside her.

If people knew she was Chris's prostitute, she probably just quit due to being harassed by trolls.

 

[Chan Fan]

Despite being gay, incest, and gerontophiliac, the thought of Bob and Chris doin’ a bit of the ol’ in-out-in-out is still far less horrifying to imagine than Chris spooning his blimp of a mother.

Dude, come on. You gotta stop saying stuff like that. It's unnecessary.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

How would you like to bet that the state of Virginia is now paying for a poor woman's PTSD treatments after seeing Chris nude and having to touch that disgusting bent duck?

I'm sure it was unpleasant, but think for a moment about the kind of disgusting lowlifes that hire hookers. That poor woman has seen so much worse.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

How would you like to bet that the state of Virginia is now paying for a poor woman's PTSD treatments after seeing Chris nude and having to touch that disgusting bent duck?

Hookers see much worse (ninjaed) than some autistic virgin with a stupid looking dick. She was probably done with him in 10 minutes and didn't even have to worry about getting murdered.

Take a moment of pity for the Russell Greer prostitutes...

 

[A Grey Cat]

If people knew she was Chris's prostitute, she probably just quit due to being harassed by trolls.

Ok starting to stray off topic guys, we don't want the American hedgehog coming in and locking the thread and deleting the posts do we?


But yeah if Mia Hamm was a real prostitute and had to sleep with a fat sweaty smelly manchild, I'm sure she took a long cold shower afterwards and thought "it's not worth it, I can take being backhanded by pimps, standing out by the highway in the cold for heroin money, and even offered extra for an unexpected gangbang, but I draw the fucking line at having to sleep with ugly losers like that."

 

[cypocryphy]

God I wish Yawning Sneasel was still here to see this.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

There are poor, sad women with utterly broken lifes who end up resorting to making porn, maybe to support some nightmarish substance addiction. Sometimes, they get abused or basically raped on set, and sometimes they can't take it anymore and end up killing themselves or overdosing.

Chris has it worse than any of them because meanies call him names on da internet.

Also, he apparently still thinks anyone this side of Sockness jacks off to his vomitive, clown-porn-like, nude shit.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

God I wish Yawning Sneasel was still here to see this.

The Barbjokes would be endless

There are poor, sad women with utterly broken lifes who end up resorting to making porn, maybe to support some nightmarish substance addiction. Sometimes, they get abused or basically raped on set, and sometimes they can't take it anymore and end up killing themselves or overdosing.

Chris has it worse than any of them because meanies call him names on da internet.

Also, he apparently still thinks anyone this side of Sockness jacks off to his vomitive, clown-porn-like, nude shit.

Chris: "All you sex trafficking victims across the word should keep your mouth shut because I have known the horrors of seeing my father's penis, and it excited me!"
Victim: "But my father raped me"
Chris: "Well I can top that, I had to wash my eyes out with soap and wear a chastity belt for a month after seein my father's California raisins! So top that, hater! You're just jealous because my Sex Trauma Drama is better than yours!"

 

[The Fool]

There are poor, sad women with utterly broken lifes who end up resorting to making porn, maybe to support some nightmarish substance addiction. Sometimes, they get abused or basically raped on set, and sometimes they can't take it anymore and end up killing themselves or overdosing.

Chris has it worse than any of them because meanies call him names on da internet.

Also, he apparently still thinks anyone this side of Sockness jacks off to his vomitive, clown-porn-like, nude shit.

Lets be real, Chris probably doesn't even know what's involved in the porn/sex industry. He probably thinks being a porn actress is an empowering and liberating experience. Primarily because the thought of a porn actress makes the last functioning vain in his dick pulse.

 

[Picklechu]

Wow. Midlife Crisis saga incoming?

We're basically already on year 3 of that.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

I wonder how big Bob's dick was

 

[Jack Awful]

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I understand the sperging I'm lost when he goes to magical bullcrap

Is it the trolling that made Chris lose his sex drive, or all the estrogen supplements he's taking?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Is it the trolling that made Chris lose his sex drive, or all the estrogen supplements he's taking?

You guys always think I'm lying, but go look in the Tranny News Megathread. A troon on hormones raped a woman in a prison. A tranny doesn't lose their libido. Chris' problems are purely social. His libido isn't gone, he just hides it because 1. people have made him feel he shouldn't have it because he's such a disgusting human being and 2. It was used against him to troll him. Bob's dick didn't make Chris do anything, Chris doesn't understand the nuances of nudity. It's his own autistic brain that can't grasp the visceral flow of socialization. It just kept snowballing since no one has ever educated Chris about sex and the human body. He still needs basic education that normal people can viscerally grasp from a very young age because he's autistic. It goes way beyond just being a shy late bloomer, Chris' brain is broken.