Twitter 1/2 - Chris on his anger issues

DO NOT BRING UP any Evidence Contrary to whatever Bullshit Textwall I write, gawd.
 
Marvin dijo:
I'd pay to see a boxing match between Chris and an amateur boxer who weighs like 20-30 pounds less than Chris.

Chris would probably feel a little overconfident if the guy looks smaller than him, but he'd get his ass kicked and it'd be genuine, complete shock for Chris.

Like when Chris tried to do a pull up and it wasn't until his hands were literally on the bar and he started pulling that he realized "oh shit, this is way harder than I thought".
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As a life long boxing fan and someone who used to box when they were younger...
You realize a fighter 20-30lbs lighter than Chris would still weigh more than Mike Tyson.
 
I love when Chris becomes an internet tough guy. That's when Chris is funny, not when he has to paste that dumb blushing emoji to every tweet he does.
 
Stonewall Chandler circa 2007 or something

“EEEEERRRRRHHHNNGGGGHHHI’LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!! I WILL PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!”
 
Chris has no muscle mass at all and I think he probably has hypotonia. He probably ways 10-20 less than someone else his size because of that. Plus he is shaped like a potato with sticks for arms and legs. Yes, Chris is fat, but someone his same height and *of similar size who was even mildly in shape would weight more.
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*Edited for clarity.
 
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Mariposa Electrique dijo:
Nah, I would say more. At least 230.
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He was 210 at some point recently and he doesn't look much different.
Sho'nuff dijo:
There is no way, even if his bones were hallow, he looks at least 230 to 240.
Isn't he 5'10 ish?
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Brian Butterfield dijo:
I'd give him 220, he doesn't look any bigger than 2011 Tomgirl, and he's certainly a lot smaller than his Snorlax phase between 2015-2017.
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When you can see his body head-to-toe, he looks very flabby. He doesn't look like a really big fat guy, but more like a somewhat deflated fat guy.

He might be more since I last saw him, but I have no reason to think he is. Like he doesn't look different from when he was 210.

Also his stick legs and arms are very noticeable.
 
Wraith dijo:
Started watching at the beginning. That was one of the funniest things I have seen in a while. Is there a story behind that tomfoolery?
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Brian Butterfield dijo:
Another video claims the "Kiai master" offered any MMA fighter 5,000 bucks to fight him, not sure on that though. I think Joe Rogan featured it in one of his podcasts and either he or one of the guests identified the challenger as an MMA fighter who fought in Pride, so the dude was a legit professional. I can't find the specific clip but there is this one where he argues with a guy who apparently thinks aikido is real.

In a way this is pretty much what Chris believes, he can just wave his hands and his mind powers will overwhelm anyone. His problem though is that no one is willing to indulge him in this belief aside from some remorseful teen troons.
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Basically that. There are a number of 'martial arts' that emphasize magic instead of physical fighting (hey, less pushups and busted lips! win win!). Which is fine if you're basically looking for yoga, but the problem is the 'masters' manage to get really big heads because their students play along. So eventually they get the idea that their ki shit actually knocks people over- not unlike Chris's curse spells. While some of these guys are smart enough not to actually put their money where their mouth is, a few drink their own kool-aid and think they can actually 'fight'. In a few cases we're lucky enough to have video of them finding out that their bullshido doesn't work.

I once had a woman in a professional setting warn people to get out of the way because she was going to direct chi (or ki or whatever) down the hall and she did a fucking hadoken- this while I was standing there considering that she was being paid to do this and I probably wasn't supposed to call her a retard. We make fun of Chris, and rightfully so, but a lot of his magical thinking is not limited to him.

I do wonder if a good slap upside the head (like in that video) would help him but I think he's too far gone and would always just find an excuse like he did with the Game Place or every other time his fuckups have actually resulted in problems for him.
 
Blue Jerkop dijo:
Basically that. There are a number of 'martial arts' that emphasize magic instead of physical fighting (hey, less pushups and busted lips! win win!). Which is fine if you're basically looking for yoga, but the problem is the 'masters' manage to get really big heads because their students play along. So eventually they get the idea that their ki shit actually knocks people over- not unlike Chris's curse spells. While some of these guys are smart enough not to actually put their money where their mouth is, a few drink their own kool-aid and think they can actually 'fight'. In a few cases we're lucky enough to have video of them finding out that their bullshido doesn't work.

I once had a woman in a professional setting warn people to get out of the way because she was going to direct chi (or ki or whatever) down the hall and she did a fucking hadoken- this while I was standing there considering that she was being paid to do this and I probably wasn't supposed to call her an exceptional individual. We make fun of Chris, and rightfully so, but a lot of his magical thinking is not limited to him.

I do wonder if a good slap upside the head (like in that video) would help him but I think he's too far gone and would always just find an excuse like he did with the Game Place or every other time his fuckups have actually resulted in problems for him.
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You fool. You could have had a video of her Curse-ye-ha-me-ha to show us.
 
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