I’m completely stealth where I live, and my life would be totally irreparably ruined otherwise. I have a niece and a nephew who are 3 and 1, and call me Uncle. Obviously my wife’s family knows I am trans, but ideally we will never tell the kids. My daughter lives with her dad in a town almost 3 hours away, but comes to stay with me whenever she wants. She is 16 and refuses to call me anything but mom. She has now asked me what to do about when her kids (who don’t exist and will not for many years) ask about her mom. I know she’s just trying to start trouble, she is constantly dead naming me, talking shit about trans people, etc. but that brings to mind a good question. What will I do about my grandkids? I already have to keep my daughter completely separate from my professional life, can’t bring her around friends down here that don’t know, etc. she would never go so far as to out me like on social media or whatever, but I’m obviously not going to force her into a situation where she feels uncomfortable, if she’s not willing to (or able to) compromise in some way on calling me mom, at least in public. I have offered to let her call me my name, and the cover story I tell my acquaintances is that I am her bio dad, who wasn’t involved in her life until recently. A good story, because I spent most of her life in prison. So, she calls another man dad, lives with him, etc. she doesn’t want to do that, and I’m not going to force her to lie. What the fuck am I going to do here gentlemen?
