oof, my first parenting injury: biblet kicked me in the old pills, already somewhat shriveled by girl juice, and let me tell you, that was the worst pain of my life. my first time telling a doctor: "it's a ten." 16ml of morphine later, an ultrasound has ruled out torsion, but I learn the word "hydrocele," and that some of the veins, now dilated and still incredibly painful, run all the way up to my upper abdomen to create a whole cascading trauma system. It's a real big owie, but no action needed other than rest and tight pants (apparently); still, everyone at the hospital had gay, and in some cases glamorous vibes. Outrageously painful but also just sobbing with gratitude at the labor and skill of the medical profession, which urgently needs to be liberated from the insurance vultures. Trans Girl Ball Ache oof still at least I look like an elegant opiate witch