Total. Critic. DEATH.

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I hate critics - professional and amateur

Professional critics are pretentious to an absurd degree and seem to sustain themselves by huffing their own farts.
Amateur critics are inconsistent but with aspirations of being professional and therefore typically more pretentious with none of the flair.
 
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critics are really just random guys who spend a lot of time consuming entertainment media
 
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Critics be like: "Every film that doesn't conform to my mindset of what a film is, is therefore bad and a 4/10."

Movie critics think every film is the same and should be held to whatever the fuck their "standard" is, as if films can't be vastly different between each other in many ways like e.g. video games. Everyone has different tastes and something being out of the norm doesn't mean it's bad.
 
I don’t mind critics. Sometimes, I learn something new about the filmmaking process or appreciate a new insight from a reviewer who has more knowledge than I do because it’s their job. The key is knowing that there is no such a thing as an objective review, just different perspectives.
 
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