Tommy Inheritance-To-Broke Prediction Thread - 200K to 0 in record speed

[RazorBackBacon]

He hired a car not all that long back, so he had a valid licence then. I'm pretty sure he's even posted a picture of it, although I can't recall the expiry date.

Arizona really will give anyone a license, huh? Here in Arkansas, you don't get to drive if you've got developing cataracts.

 

[Everything Beagle]

He's fucking stupid for buying a used car. If you have the money, always go new. Guaranteed a solid 5-10 years without any major issues.

At least get something fairly reliable like a Toyota. I can’t remember the last time I saw a PT Cruise on the road.

 

[Owlflaps]

Tom has no concept of value. This shit is going to be squandered so fucking aimlessly and be gone before he even knows it. His ditchweed dealers are going to love him.

Case and point, he bought a fucking PT Cruiser which are not only completely unreliable in terms of mechanical operation, they have insanely poor fuel economy for something so woefully underpowered. He also hasn’t driven a vehicle for over 11 years, is old and basically forming cataracts in both eyes, and since this idiot publicly flaunts his cash, I hope the first Hispanic family that he rear-ends saps him for every single red cent.

So in short, Tom wasted his dead uncle's money on a car that is functionally broken and ugly as sin -- a fitting metaphor for his own life.

He should have gotten a Honda or something. You can run those things into the ground and maintenance is cheap.

 

[Mellow Malevolent]

I don't know why you would buy a decade old used car unless it was absolutely your only option. Better to get a more recent model, and they wouldn't run you that much more in the long run, especially if you factor in maintenance. I wonder how much mileage it had.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

I don't know why you would buy a decade old used car unless it was absolutely your only option.

It was, his credit is shot and his debt to income ratio wouldn't cover a legitimate car loan no matter how much he put down.

 

[Mellow Malevolent]

It was, his credit is shot and his debt to income ratio wouldn't cover a legitimate car loan no matter how much he put down.

It would have been smarter to wait for his deadmombux and get something more recent, just paying it all without financing. But then, this is Tom, and long term planning is obviously not his forte.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

It would have been smarter to wait for his deadmombux and get something more recent, just paying it all without financing.

Here is where the financial genius that is Tom kicks in. His plan is to trade in the Pre Teen Cruiser when he gets his dedmombux for a diesel creeper van and then immediately void its power train warranty by converting it to run on bio fuels. Someone is gonna be grease trap diving for fuel.

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

Here is where the financial genius that is Tom kicks in. His plan is to trade in the Pre Teen Cruiser when he gets his dedmombux for a diesel creeper van and then immediately void its power train warranty by converting it to run on bio fuels. Someone is gonna be grease trap diving for fuel.

I'm still pretty damn confident that he'll either get injured trying to convert a vehicle or somehow manage to make a bomb out of the damn thing.

 

[Consider Lizärds]

Here is where the financial genius that is Tom kicks in. His plan is to trade in the Pre Teen Cruiser when he gets his dedmombux for a diesel creeper van and then immediately void its power train warranty by converting it to run on bio fuels. Someone is gonna be grease trap diving for fuel.

Yep, he'll be done with the passion wagon by Valentine's day. Specifically then.

 

[MediocreMilt]

Yep, he'll be done with the passion wagon by Valentine's day. Specifically then.
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Is he trying to play it off like this was always his plan? Who the hell buys a car for a month and a half?

The only time I've ever heard of someone doing anything like this it was actual billionaires throwing money away because they could. 216K (less what Mommy willed elsewhere) isn't that much money.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Yep, he'll be done with the passion wagon by Valentine's day. Specifically then.
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If the vehicle is only a decade old then the parts still exist. He just doesn't want to fix it because he wants to drive it until it's no longer running. Hopefully he then get's stranded in the desert when that happens.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

Don't let these dubious, doubting dullards rain on your parade, Tom. Invest in a bubblegum mine and dry ice futures!

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Don't let these dubious, doubting dullards rain on your parade, Tom. Invest in a bubblegum mine and dry ice futures!

You know what never reduces in value? Landmarks. That’s why I thought it was so weird that the City of San Francisco was trying to balance its budget by selling the Golden Gate Bridge for just a few thousand bucks. But I’ve said too much - it’s not supposed to be public knowledge, I just happen to know the guy handling the sale.

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

You know what never reduces in value? Landmarks. That’s why I thought it was so weird that the City of San Francisco was trying to balance its budget by selling the Golden Gate Bridge for just a few thousand bucks. But I’ve said too much - it’s not supposed to be public knowledge, I just happen to know the guy handling the sale.

I heard about that. Had to offset all the social policy costs if I'm not mistaken, the guy selling is a real stand-up guy. I'm surprised it's just a few grand though, the pandemic sure has dropped the price of scrap metal!

 

[Goofy Logic]

I heard about that. Had to offset all the social policy costs if I'm not mistaken, the guy selling is a real stand-up guy. I'm surprised it's just a few grand though, the pandemic sure has dropped the price of scrap metal!

Just think of the tolls you can collect from that bridge!

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

Imagine getting a 16K inheritance, and blowing it on a fucking PT Cruiser.

 

[RadioactiveMonkeyMan]

Imagine getting a 16K inheritance, and blowing it on a fucking PT Cruiser.

And more gravel, silver wire for cheap jewelry he'll never sell, and perhaps the biggest thing I can't understand; Someone else's mortgage payments/bills. He fancies himself a business-type person, but makes the strangest, most ass-backwards "investments" I've ever heard of. You can't just hand over money to people, and expect they'll ever return a fucking thing. That's why people invented contracts, so you can broker a deal and have both parties held accountable. Tom just figures fuck it, handshake and it's good. It's not the caveman era, that's not how people work. Yet, for some reason, despite him getting fucked over repeatedly in handshake deals (not to mention fucking other people over as well) he continues to do so. It makes absolutely no sense. He's been burned before from it, and he's clearly aware of the shaky nature or he wouldn't have ripped off Arianna when he did. Yet, he still thinks he has the upper hand.

People with literal Downs syndrome have a better understanding of deal-making.

 

[repentance]

And more gravel, silver wire for cheap jewelry he'll never sell, and perhaps the biggest thing I can't understand; Someone else's mortgage payments/bills. He fancies himself a business-type person, but makes the strangest, most ass-backwards "investments" I've ever heard of. You can't just hand over money to people, and expect they'll ever return a fucking thing. That's why people invented contracts, so you can broker a deal and have both parties held accountable. Tom just figures fuck it, handshake and it's good. It's not the caveman era, that's not how people work. Yet, for some reason, despite him getting fucked over repeatedly in handshake deals (not to mention fucking other people over as well) he continues to do so. It makes absolutely no sense. He's been burned before from it, and he's clearly aware of the shaky nature or he wouldn't have ripped off Arianna when he did. Yet, he still thinks he has the upper hand.

People with literal Downs syndrome have a better understanding of deal-making.

Don't forget that he's supposed to be out of his current place by 1 February and last we heard he didn't have a solid agreement in place for where he's going to live after that (and most of his time between now and then will be spent at gem shows).

 

[RazorBackBacon]

And more gravel, silver wire for cheap jewelry he'll never sell, and perhaps the biggest thing I can't understand; Someone else's mortgage payments/bills. He fancies himself a business-type person, but makes the strangest, most ass-backwards "investments" I've ever heard of. You can't just hand over money to people, and expect they'll ever return a fucking thing. That's why people invented contracts, so you can broker a deal and have both parties held accountable. Tom just figures fuck it, handshake and it's good. It's not the caveman era, that's not how people work. Yet, for some reason, despite him getting fucked over repeatedly in handshake deals (not to mention fucking other people over as well) he continues to do so. It makes absolutely no sense. He's been burned before from it, and he's clearly aware of the shaky nature or he wouldn't have ripped off Arianna when he did. Yet, he still thinks he has the upper hand.

People with literal Downs syndrome have a better understanding of deal-making.

Guys like Tom think that contracts are for squares; just another way of The Man to keep you down. If you wanna keep cool, you just do things the old fashioned way, with a smile and a handshake. Nevermind that even in ye olden times, a handshake deal was often witnessed by 2 or more neutral parties, or that you can literally, if both parties agree, write up a contract on a cocktail napkin and run it by a public notary, cost you about $30....

Oh wait, I know why he won't do that!

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

Guys like Tom think that contracts are for squares; just another way of The Man to keep you down. If you wanna keep cool, you just do things the old fashioned way, with a smile and a handshake. Nevermind that even in ye olden times, a handshake deal was often witnessed by 2 or more neutral parties, or that you can literally, if both parties agree, write up a contract on a cocktail napkin and run it by a public notary, cost you about $30....

Oh wait, I know why he won't do that!

Contracts suck indeed, but they're a necessary evil.

Also, the funniest thing about hippies is that their idea of sticking things to the man is... all doing same thing in unison. Isn't that pretty much what "The Man" wants? To quote one of my favourite bands: "Before you point the finger, you should know that I'M the man/and if I'm the man, then you're the man and he's the man as well/So you can point that fucking finger up your ass".