🐮 Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

[HipstrsGonnaHip]

And also been mocked... There can be no time (when) if something never happens... Look at the Mayans: Expected end of world over 2 years ago!

CALLED IT

 

[Coldgrip]

I said "if & when", which is saying it's possible, not definite.

By including the word "when" in your statement you make it a certainty that you'll make a mistake.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Then bow & use your tongues as you do regularly... Speak in tongues, or put tongues in others, I don't care.

Also, Ice, I would never admit defeat to you, but I wonder what type of contest you might be proposing... Also, beating you in any contest is done the second it begins, & therefore a waste of my time. Why don't we put the future (or if they have any) of all TJChurch-related threads on the line? I win, I (& the threads about me) are gone. Sounds like even if I win, you all win.

How about we write a very short story? It can be about anything you want. If you win I will do my level best to convince Null to remove this thread, and I will never post on these forums again. Unfortunately that's the best I personally can do, but just think: if you defeat me, then others will be scared to come forth and challenge you, and your efforts to get this thread removed will gain traction.

How about it Timothy?

 

[Cuck Norris]

Well good night TJ. Sorry I had to embarrass you like that, but you bring it on yourself. I genuinely tried to be nice to you, but plain and simple, you're a fucking prick dude. I really did want to hear about when you met Chewbacca too. I've never met anyone super famous, just some moderately successful indie rappers. Anyway, I'm sure you'll be back, because you don't know when to quit. Talk to you soon buddy.

 

[EI 903]

Null wrote he was the only one with the power to make it go away. If so, I simply must wait for him to do the right thing. The thread has gone inactive before, & someone (not me, contrary to some statements) re-activates it. (A main reason I am so upset by its mere existence: Total strangers feel free to attack me, my life, etc. when their doing so repeatedly makes it abundantly clear they have no "lives" to "speak of" of their own.)

That's only partially true. He can delete it here, but any archives remain. It would be just a matter of days until your thread got put in Pastebin or something and revived on an imageboard.

You're here forever, TJ, and we're never going away.

 

[Meowthkip]

You guys ever read this old early 20th century comic strip called Krazy Kat?

It was a brilliant strip. People like Picasso and Gertrude Stein were fans. It was a favorite of William Randolph Hearst's, who insisted on running the strip even though it was not very popular with the general public. It ran for decades, and the basic premise of the strip was simple: Krazy Kat is in love with Ignatz Mouse. Ignatz hates Krazy, and will throw bricks at Krazy's head. Krazy interprets this assault as an act of affection, causing Krazy to fall deeper in love with Ignatz. Ignatz is then arrested by Offissa Pup and thrown in jail, while Pup hides his own romantic affections for Krazy. He drops hints, but Krazy never picks up on them.

This is the basis for almost every single Krazy Kat strip, and yet, the same joke keeps getting told in new and exciting ways. It's literally one joke, but each and every time, something is changed about the scenario. The wordplay is brilliant, the artwork is simplistic and sublime, and the characters speech is almost Shakespearean in its delivery. It's one of the most highly regarded and influential newspaper comics to ever exist. Bill Watterson is a huge fan.

TJ Church is our Ignatz. He keeps coming in, throwing his poorly thought out insults at our heads, over and over again, and we love him. We want more. We want it to keep going forever. We have members who talk of worshiping him like a prophet. One might even call us Kiwi Kats. TJ does the same exact thing, over and over again, with enough variation to keep things interesting and funny.

In a way, this thread is a work of art. I hope Offissa Pup never comes in to take away our dawlink Ignatz.

 

[Chuggernaut]

That's only partially true. He can delete it here, but any archives remain. It would be just a matter of days until your thread got put in Pastebin or something and revived on an imageboard.

You're here forever, TJ, and we're never going away.

I keep a copy of it for just that reason, in fact! Well, that and personal amusement, of course.

 

[StallChaser]

And also been mocked... There can be no time (when) if something never happens... Look at the Mayans: Expected end of world over 2 years ago!

The Mayans didn't predict the end of the world. That was simply their calendar rolling over, which some new age hippies wrongfully interpreted as "the end of the world". And also as good a reason as any to take a bunch of acid, but I digress.

But end of the world predictions are a good analogy for what you're doing. Most religious fundamentalists who predict the imminent end of the world don't set a date. They just say "soon". It's a way to weasel out of ever being held to anything. There have been people like this saying "soon" for decades. That's you with your prediction of the thread being taken down. You have no timeline, no possible mechanism for it happening, and the assumption that every single person who has an archived backup of the thread will all unilaterally delete it at once.

Since having the thread deleted is not an option, the next best thing (assuming you don't want people reading the thread, which may be an invalid assumption) is for it to become inactive. You seem to believe this is unacceptable, but in fighting it, you're only causing this thread to become more visible. Imagine this thread as being out in the middle of a desert, 50 miles from the nearest road. Nobody would have ever noticed or cared it existed if it wasn't called attention to. And you're building a highway straight to it and planting hundreds of 50-foot tall neon arrows pointing at the same spot with the caption OMG SERIOUSLY GUYS DON'T LOOK HERE!!! What do you expect will happen?

Whatever you do, DON'T think about purple juggalo parkour wolves! Seriously! Don't! You're doing it, aren't you? You're totally fucking thinking about purple juggalo parkour wolves, you bastard! I told you not to! (see how that works?)

But I don't want to be a complete negative nancy. As hard of a time as we give you, this thread will go away eventually.

Spoiler

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heat_death_of_the_universe

 

[deductionotaku]

Pick a topic or activity, or anything really, and we'll have a contest. If you beat me I'll never post on this forum again, and I'll write a letter of formal apology. Sound good?

Be advised that if you decline you are admitting defeat.

Not a good idea. He tried that with me and another user once, and I learned my lesson since then.

The other user and I were one team, TJ Church was alone on the other, and the contest spanned a weekend. The rule was whichever side posted a lie first lost, and if he won he'd be allowed back on the forums and site for CHYOO. Only after a few days of reposting it did he add in that he would leave forever if he lost; I can't find the edited version due to the multitude of his violations I have to comb through, but the original still proves my point. They're here as images due to the links being dead ends to anyone besides LitErotica Moderators and Administrators. Proof: this is where I found one of them, and I know many of you can't follow it.

First off, you'll notice we weren't allowed to consent to participation, he dictated that we absolutely would be competing even though we initially had nothing to gain by winning. Second, there's no reference to a timezone that allowed us to understand the exact span of time this game would last, telling me either TJ Church is oblivious to time zones or TJ Church has very poor foresight. Third, during the contest, he reposted his deleted posts again, one of which contained a hyperbole. This hyperbole made reference to someone declaring someone else a genius, something that never happened and he fabricated himself. When I called him on the lie and demanded he pay up, he suddenly changed the rules to say reposts don't count since he didn't write the post within the contest time, as well as claim my now-false declaration was a lie and demanded I pay up. Fourth, really notice that last sentence. A falsehood, one that I had every reason to believe was true, is considered a lie, proving TJ Church doesn't comprehend the distinction between lying and being incorrect. Fifth, he's contradicted the circumstances of our loss time and again. Among them has been the claim that our lie was his quote of a lie (lol). Sixth, when I explained to him the difference between lying and misunderstanding, he claimed we did not misunderstand the rules, we "believed one thing to be the case when it was believed by the other side [the rules] were something else." How that's different is something I don't yet understand, but he's also claimed that the problem was the post I called out was a fake attributed to him. The lack of consistency is startling.

With this history, I strongly advise you to not get into a contest unless we can an impartial referee to both set and enforce the rules, as well as the consequences.

And before he can deny it:

Spoiler: Contest Rules and Initial Lie

Mind you, on this one, I had to cut off the bottom due to its size.

Spoiler: Change of Rules

Spoiler: Change of Reasoning

Also, let's keep it as "TJ Church" for a while, so that "TJChurch" and "TJ Church" can have the same hits in a search engine.

 

[Fwiffo]

You must always remember when dealing with TJ exactly what kind of man he is. This is a person so delusional that he refuses to accept that he has diabetes, despite his doctor clearly telling him so. Further, he would refuse to take his medication due to his denial, which (surprise surprise) landed him in hospital. He is SO delusional that he faced a magistrate on the subject of assigning him a personal guardian because he was found too incompetent to manage his personal affairs.

This fellow is truly insane. THIS is the kind of person you are dealing with.

Called that ASSumption by all of you (accent on the first three letters due to the -holes you all are, as well as the holes you have proven must be in your heads) for the shit that it is/was.

Also, while I am not TJ/Tim, I am connected to him through a few online areas, & he has told me he is already in contact with Tumblr about shutting-down the Tumblr area you have named after & based on him (without requesting permission or allowing him any input). However, this contact will cease if I let him know you are removing it, thereby requiring him to take no further steps.

Let us also remember that he is a straight-up liar.

 

[24isthehighestnumber]

Anyone have a source on the diabetes thing? I totally believe it (since dude is straight up crazy &/or insane), but I just need to see it.

 

[Fwiffo]

Anyone have a source on the diabetes thing? I totally believe it (since dude is straight up crazy &/or insane), but I just need to see it.

Here is what he said to me after I asked him about it:

" Yes, I continue to take the medication while simultaneously denying I have the disease. It's not illogical, but rather something I do that I call "playing along". (They stated my refusal to take insulin at the time was part of the reason I was given a guardian, but they can't make me take any medications once it is correctly proven I don't have the disease.

I don't assume you would advocate me not taking any meds. If I were to do that, I might become as ill mentally or physically as you & the majority of others here."

He seems to be one of those people who can never admit his mistakes (hence why he can never bear to "lose" to us).

 

[Have a Pepsi]

Here is what he said to me after I asked him about it:

" Yes, I continue to take the medication while simultaneously denying I have the disease. It's not illogical, but rather something I do that I call "playing along". (They stated my refusal to take insulin at the time was part of the reason I was given a guardian, but they can't make me take any medications once it is correctly proven I don't have the disease.

I don't assume you would advocate me not taking any meds. If I were to do that, I might become as ill mentally or physically as you & the majority of others here."

He seems to be one of those people who can never admit his mistakes (hence why he can never bear to "lose" to us).

Hang on... He denies, denies, and further denies he has diabetes, but thinks that if he stops taking his diabetes medicine, he will become ill on other terms?

 

[Fwiffo]

Hang on... He denies, denies, and further denies he has diabetes, but thinks that if he stops taking his diabetes medicine, he will become ill on other terms?

He seems to stop just short of pursuing that line of thought fully; at least, he's never given me a clear answer. A greater mystery is why he is so adamant in his denial. Is this really a worthy, erm, hill to die on?

I am slowly coming to understand that he is one of the most prideful creatures I've ever met. He can never be wrong, ever. When we discussed talking to Null in a civilized fashion to get his thread closed, he refused to even consider it because he would have seen it as capitulating; the kiwis would have won. Perhaps he initially questioned his diabetes diagnosis, but as the evidence mounted he felt he needed to "stay the course" and further his delusion.

All in all, he is a WEIRD bird.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

Not a good idea. He tried that with me and another user once, and I learned my lesson since then.

The other user and I were one team, TJ Church was alone on the other, and the contest spanned a weekend. The rule was whichever side posted a lie first lost, and if he won he'd be allowed back on the forums and site for CHYOO. Only after a few days of reposting it did he add in that he would leave forever if he lost; I can't find the edited version due to the multitude of his violations I have to comb through, but the original still proves my point. They're here as images due to the links being dead ends to anyone besides LitErotica Moderators and Administrators. Proof: this is where I found one of them, and I know many of you can't follow it.

First off, you'll notice we weren't allowed to consent to participation, he dictated that we absolutely would be competing even though we initially had nothing to gain by winning. Second, there's no reference to a timezone that allowed us to understand the exact span of time this game would last, telling me either TJ Church is oblivious to time zones or TJ Church has very poor foresight. Third, during the contest, he reposted his deleted posts again, one of which contained a hyperbole. This hyperbole made reference to someone declaring someone else a genius, something that never happened and he fabricated himself. When I called him on the lie and demanded he pay up, he suddenly changed the rules to say reposts don't count since he didn't write the post within the contest time, as well as claim my now-false declaration was a lie and demanded I pay up. Fourth, really notice that last sentence. A falsehood, one that I had every reason to believe was true, is considered a lie, proving TJ Church doesn't comprehend the distinction between lying and being incorrect. Fifth, he's contradicted the circumstances of our loss time and again. Among them has been the claim that our lie was his quote of a lie (lol). Sixth, when I explained to him the difference between lying and misunderstanding, he claimed we did not misunderstand the rules, we "believed one thing to be the case when it was believed by the other side [the rules] were something else." How that's different is something I don't yet understand, but he's also claimed that the problem was the post I called out was a fake attributed to him. The lack of consistency is startling.

With this history, I strongly advise you to not get into a contest unless we can an impartial referee to both set and enforce the rules, as well as the consequences.

And before he can deny it:

Spoiler: Contest Rules and Initial Lie

Ver archivo adjunto 12597

Mind you, on this one, I had to cut off the bottom due to its size.

Spoiler: Change of Rules

Ver archivo adjunto 12598

Spoiler: Change of Reasoning

Ver archivo adjunto 12599

Also, let's keep it as "TJ Church" for a while, so that "TJChurch" and "TJ Church" can have the same hits in a search engine.

You're saying if the names aren't mine, name the account?! Sounds like you're describing a world that is against itself. Oh, no you're not. You're only asking me to do something if one account is not mine. Too bad I can't read, or I'd have noticed you only said "one account". Even so, if the name isn't mine, what name am I supposed to give?! It's not like I could just tell you which account is mine, or which account isn't mine, or even remember that I said only one wasn't mine. Also, why would I be doing anything to leverage a deal when you've already claimed you would deal, but then said you would only do so if you got to set all the rules. Oh, you didn't. You named one condition that was non-negotiable, just like I did. Well, that only works for me! Only I get to decide what's non-negotiable! Not to mention that for those "rules", you named a bunch of garbage that no idiot would ever call a deal or negotiation. Why should older rulings about me continue?! Who would agree to be watched like any other user on the site?! Who would be forced to follow the conditions of a deal?! Making me follow the rules isn't fair!

that is, and always will be my favorite TJ Church Post, well, peterbarry3 post.

 

[24isthehighestnumber]

" I don't assume you would advocate me not taking any meds. If I were to do that, I might become as ill mentally or physically as you & the majority of others here."

Given the context, there's sort of an implication in here that this forum's members behave a certain way because we don't take our insulin. And that's fucking hilarious.

 

[Optimus Prime]

He seems to stop just short of pursuing that line of thought fully; at least, he's never given me a clear answer. A greater mystery is why he is so adamant in his denial. Is this really a worthy, erm, hill to die on?

I am slowly coming to understand that he is one of the most prideful creatures I've ever met. He can never be wrong, ever. When we discussed talking to Null in a civilized fashion to get his thread closed, he refused to even consider it because he would have seen it as capitulating; the kiwis would have won. Perhaps he initially questioned his diabetes diagnosis, but as the evidence mounted he felt he needed to "stay the course" and further his delusion.

All in all, he is a WEIRD bird.

Out of morbid curiosity, I have to wonder how the fuck he ended up as being more delusional than OPL (who as we know thinks to this day that there is a plane of existence where all cartoon characters live) and GK (who somehow believed the female anatomy included parts that don't exist and probably still holds his deep grudge toward his brother for destroying some stupid little paper toy named Dot over two decades ago). At least OPL and GK are willing to even just say that they're in understanding of when they've done wrong - though only because they see accepting the consequences that follow as being the most beneficial option they have - but TJ? I dare say he's a regular fucking Caligula here if he's denying shit pertaining to his continued presence on this Earth if it means lowering his ego through the tiniest admission of fault.

 

[Fwiffo]

Out of morbid curiosity, I have to wonder how the fuck he ended up as being more delusional than OPL (who as we know thinks to this day that there is a plane of existence where all cartoon characters live) and GK (who somehow believed the female anatomy included parts that don't exist and probably still holds his deep grudge toward his brother for destroying some stupid little paper toy named Dot over two decades ago). At least OPL and GK are willing to even just say that they're in understanding of when they've done wrong - though only because they see accepting the consequences that follow as being the most beneficial option they have - but TJ? I dare say he's a regular fucking Caligula here if he's denying shit pertaining to his continued presence on this Earth if it means lowering his ego through the tiniest admission of fault.

Honestly, I feel like it's because his life is so dreary, his personality problems so insurmountable, that he clings to any ray of sunshine that graces his existence. He cannot, will not lose to us, because WE are the losers, not HIM dammit. If he were wrong about any little thing then the whole facade would come crumbling down, and he would be set face to face with his myriad failures and inadequacies. Uncomfortable for most, but for TJ, being right is virtually life and death. If that means cutting off his nose to spite his face, well, that's a casualty of war I suppose.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Honestly, I feel like it's because his life is so dreary, his personality problems so insurmountable, that he clings to any ray of sunshine that graces his existence. He cannot, will not lose to us, because WE are the losers, not HIM dammit. If he were wrong about any little thing then the whole facade would come crumbling down, and he would be set face to face with his myriad failures and inadequacies. Uncomfortable for most, but for TJ, being right is virtually life and death. If that means cutting off his nose to spite his face, well, that's a casualty of war I suppose.

Same can be said of a lot of lolcows.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Uncomfortable for most, but for TJ, being right is virtually life and death. If that means cutting off his nose to spite his face, well, that's a casualty of war I suppose.

He's willing to let himself die for the cause of "proving" he doesn't have diabetes and doesn't actually need to be taking the medicine keeping him alive.

Or, simply put; he'd rather die to prove he was right and that the doctors were wrong in saying he has diabetes...while simultaneously proving the only fucking way he could have died was unmedicated diabetes.

This also clearly shows he has no concept of any kind of improper perscription drug consumption being bad because I'm pretty certain that if he didn't have diabetes, the meds he's being forced to take would be really fucking up his body right now.