The Straight Person's Guide to Identifying Gays - Things Gay People Do That Only Straight People Know About

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

My dad has a problem that I was hoping the fine members of this forum could help with:

He keeps unintentionally giving off secret gay signs.

These signs are so secret that the gay people we know have never heard of them, but the straight people pointing out the signs seem so sure of themselves so they must be right.

I'm asking for your help in compiling a list of these signs so my dad can stop acting like a fag and the fags we know can start acting like real fags.

Signs so far:

• Having one toenail painted.
• If your hat has a chinstrap, put the strap in front of one ear and behind the other.
• Sit quietly and don't bother anyone.

Thank you for your help!

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I apparently give off some kind of pheremone that attracts scary lesbians, and I've concluded that "sitting quietly not bothering anyone" is Lesbianese for "come threateningly demand I give you my number"

 

[Coldgrip]

As a straight person, I have to wonder if it would be better if we could somehow mark all the homogays with an easy to identify symbol. To ensure it's visibility we aught to make it a bright eye catching color, like say pink.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

As a straight person, I have to wonder if it would be better if we could somehow mark all the homogays with an easy to identify symbol. To ensure it's visibility we aught to make it a bright eye catching color, like say pink.

Like an armband with a star on it yeah?

 

[MrTroll]

My rule of thumb is anyone who is dressed nice or wears any non-Axe™ brand deodorant is probably a flaming homo.

 

[AnOminous]

I think if you see someone and he has another man's dick in his ass, and doesn't seem to mind it, it's possible he is gay.

 

[admiral]

It's 100% fact that all gays have tails, so all you need to do is shout WHO'S A GOOD BOY really loudly and they won't be able to stop themselves.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Gays are too stupid to realize that it is immoral so as a result they are unlikely to read and instead just play with balls all day. So if you see someone with glasses they are generally gay because you need to read in order to realize that you are short sighted

 

[ZehnBoat]

Guys
Easy way to guess if someone is gay
Does that dude want to bang other dudes?
50% chance of gay
Thats a good percentage

 

[Coldgrip]

Like an armband with a star on it yeah?

That's a good idea. Or possibly a triangle?

We'll need a lot of straight people to manage this project though.

I know! There's plenty of straights at beer halls.