The Sixth Slice (a novel)

[Pomniman]

"A shequel or a hequel? A treequel or a mequel? In dayquil we trusted, outta nyquil we thrusted-"

There's more but this is enough of a sprinkling for now.

Coming to a sewer near you in 6-12(?) months.

 

[Path Wanderer]

What are you talking about

 

[Pomniman]

What are you talking about

Don't worry about it.

 

[Plumber's Crack]

Don't worry about it.

Three datamining links in one post gotta click em all

 

[Pomniman]

A brief preview of the rough draft of chapter 1

notes: structurally, this consists of two semi-abandoned projects pozzing the neghole of a newer third one, so it'll be roughly as disjointed as the prequel. The protagonist's name is in keeping with the last book's Chinese "medicine" naming conventions (as in, dog meat to be eaten for "medicinal" purposes like the "Bile Bear" and "Pigeon" characters of the semi-related previous book).

___

Chapter One: Golden Retriever Mutton

Having never been a normal weight, Dogmeat queefed sourly, HRT and Halloumi-atrophied microclitty flapping flaccid against zxheir très chic feminine twopenny coinpurse with the stale semi-sweet scent of half-digested Bellavitano (Balsamic, of course). For but the briefest instant zxhe recalled those reacharound teachings and professed confessions of zxheir second favorite Epstein Island habitué, one Wang Bu-sifu, though forced the thought to perish before it could begin to take root.

Since it was 4AM on a Turds-Gay in the C-Ya'll-i-Fat of FluoRide-A and zxhe'd just finished his last 20 pound wheel of aged imported Asiago, zxhe grudgingly drank zxheir 50th Monster Zero Ultra White™ — a lady had to watch zxher dainty 350 pound figure, after all — of the week and began to commence to initially preliminarily prepare for tomorrow's Fat At Green Gruyère Yolks (FAGGY) podcast, terminally unprofitable yet rabidly followed by a small sect of morbidly obese female Somali jihadis. There'd been a shortage of fresh material this week so zxhe'd been forced to — Christ help zxher — read a bit of schizophrenic backwash left behind at the scene of a morbidly obese chomosexual virgin pedophile (and erstwhile user of zxher Web-Zone) @BrunoMattei , govt. name Justin A. Kattke. Whilst the mere act of thinking about trying to read anything longer than a cheese label gave zxher the howling fantods, in hopes of milking leftover fans of the late great Dr. Matthew Cobson Harris of their remaining hard-earned shekels, Dogmeat soldiered on for as long as zxheir blood sugar level permitted zxher to.

"Nigger Trigger..."

Catchy.

"Nigger Trigger..."

Where have I heard that one before? I know this cocksucker stole it from somewhere.

"Nigger... Trigger...?"

Which Nigger? And Triggdered how, exactly? Zxhe wasn't all too keen on finding out, but a Bape hooked on Pheonix zxhe bees, so queery teary free.

***
NIGGER TRIGGER

by

ALEXANDER KATTKE

COPYRIGHT JUNE 19TH 1488, BLEEDING RAPED NUN PRESS

To my dear friend Supervert; If Satan lets me suck one last cock after I kill myself, it'll be yours!

Chapter 1: Like a Virgin Bride To Her Loving Husband

"Oh, it's just you. Kinda scared me for a minute there."

Something about this presence comforted her. Not quite like a parental affection but at the very least that of an individual who feels like a lifelong friend even if you've only ever talked to them for five seconds to pass the time while waiting in line for some altogether banal or quotidian thing; just one of those preternaturally pleasant people with a baseline level of charisma no one's quite immune to.

"Hang on, I just finished recording. It'll only take a couple of minutes to pack up."

Smiling, humming. Mind drifting to and fro in its typical bubbly xanaxified manner; What should I have for lunch? Should I tell my boyfriend about my fuckbuddy? Carol is such an uptight little bitch! And so on, and so forth in slow ceaseless streams of blithely insipid triviality, punctuated only by the bullet penetrating her skull and exiting her forehead in a wet & solid splash onto the bits of kit she'd been absentmindedly fiddling with.

The other figure also hummed an inane little tune as the work to be done here today was briskly attended to. Machinelike precision, learned hands smoothly operating independent of that pesky old brain's supervision. A job worth doing is a job worth doing well, daddy always said. And the devil, well, he'd certainly never had these hands for a plaything.
***

What a tryhard fag, zxhe muttered, giving up after less than a page's reading, less than a lesson's learing. Some change can probably be shaken loose here, like a veteran beggar from a loanshark homo, but cheeseless and full of farts was no way to persist and zxher I-Chink reading for the gay had been unfavorable with regards to matters of perseverance besides, so it'd have to wait another week or five.

 

[liam dees]

you lost me at the first sentence of the first chapter my nigger.

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

Since it was 4AM on a Turds-Gay in the C-Ya'll-i-Fat of FluoRide-A and zxhe'd just finished his last 20 pound wheel of aged imported Asiago, zxhe grudgingly drank zxheir 50th Monster Zero Ultra White™ — a lady had to watch zxher dainty 350 pound figure, after all — of the week and began to commence to initially preliminarily prepare for tomorrow's Fat At Green Gruyère Yolks (FAGGY) podcast, terminally unprofitable yet rabidly followed by a small sect of morbidly obese female Somali jihadis...

This is like if David Foster Wallace was a retarded Sharty user. Needs more footnotes.

 

[Pomniman]

This is like if David Foster Wallace was a retarded Sharty user. Needs more footnotes.

The foot/endnotes were my least favorite part of Wardine Be Cry man's novels, though I have read all of them over the years. Personally I think he peaked with Brief Interviews With Hideous Men and the big meme book (Infinite Jest) is maybe 300 pages of decent material with 700 pages of SSRIed-out 90s bloat but there's no way to trim it down without making it shittier. Coincidentally, I'm reading the more compact version of Jung's Red Book now and the footnotes are somehow even more retarded with some of them taking up 90% of multiple pages at a time.

 

[Pomniman]

More SNCA:

I was going to transcribe the latest handwritten snippet here but it's probably too long to fit in a single post (without even being finished) so I'll just explain more shit about this heap here;

It's comprised of what would've originally been three separate books crushed into one frame narrative (let's call it premise 3) and NIGGER TRIGGER as an amalgamation of two different abandoned projects consisting of premise 1 (untitled murder mystery book about a bumbling amateur detective ineptly investigating her tiktoker friend's death (and being murdered by the killer herself in the last/second to last (I outlined it but that's as far as it got) chapter) that I'd previously only written one page of because it was meant to be a collaboration that never materialized) and premise 2 (my original version of NIGGER TRIGGER, which was going to be a loosely connected/contradictory series of myths/apocryphal accounts about some rapist/murderer/cannibal killing hundreds of thousands of male and female George Floyd clones (created as bioweapons that broke containment and incestuously reproduced on the scale of roaches, spreading throughout the world and leading to the collapse of all Nation states approximately 200 years before the beginning of the "story", though none of this would've been explained in-text) in a 25th Century (or some such shit) post apocalypse, ending in the supposed re-nuking of what was left of 25th(?) Century civilization as a kind of pseudo-Ragnarök/end of the Kali Yuga).

Of these three, I'm probably still more invested in NIGGER TRIGGER as a whole, but it's already disjointed/incoherent by nature so using the Dogmeat crap as a half-assed frame narrative to glue it to premise 1 (under the extremely thin premise that @BrunoMattei wrote both of them instead of the barebones rape factory blueprints he "retired" with) makes more sense than just presenting it as is.