📚 Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

Another low-effort thembie, huh. They are becoming more common, replacing the full-blown medicalised ones, which may be a good sign.
I’m taking it as a good sign, because she also said that any pronouns are fine instead of she/her pronouns being literally genocide.

Low effort thembie things are a phase mostly, you can’t take back testosterone poisoning or get back breasts etc.
She‘s young enough that there’s hope.
 
I’m taking it as a good sign, because she also said that any pronouns are fine instead of she/her pronouns being literally genocide.

Low effort thembie things are a phase mostly, you can’t take back testosterone poisoning or get back breasts etc.
She‘s young enough that there’s hope.
My fingers are crossed for both you and the poonster.

"get back breasts"

This harkens back to a tragic exchange (which I may have encountered in this very thread) in which a (very young and stupid) post-mastectomy pooner posts about her desire to have kids and breastfeed them, and wonders how long it will take her breasts to grow back.

Who really wants to be the one who taps the "NO REFUNDS" sign? Not me. Fuck, I made myself sad again.
 
This harkens back to a tragic exchange (which I may have encountered in this very thread) in which a (very young and stupid) post-mastectomy pooner posts about her desire to have kids and breastfeed them, and wonders how long it will take her breasts to grow back.
...Did she think that other pooners have to regularly get their breasts removed on a regular basis to stay titless?
 
...Did she think that other pooners have to regularly get their breasts removed on a regular basis to stay titless?
I did remember to write "young and stupid", didn't I? ;)

Great, with this idea about tits which just keep growing back, now I'm giggling at a pooner who's worried about her "five-o'clock boobage".
 
Mind you, she p;ays a Human who she claims was adopted by Drow that live on the surface. Her character pooned out down there in Menzo, because we all know the Drow would be accepting of that, and was beloved by all still.
...FtM in a matriarchy should be a lot more culturally charged than that. Like, I'm not the biggest nerd, but I'm pretty sure the only reason her character didn't get turned into/eaten by a spider was because she's a Mary Sue nobody had expectations of a human.

Poor research leads to big loss for backstory; she could have used the "I had to leave my people to live my truth~~" for angst.

Anyway, if you do polymorph her into a real live boy, play it straight. Obviously your character (and you OOC) would think you're doing this poor horny bard a huge favor, considering how heavy "his" situation is on his mind, given how much it's a topic of conversation.
 
...FtM in a matriarchy should be a lot more culturally charged than that. Like, I'm not the biggest nerd, but I'm pretty sure the only reason her character didn't get turned into/eaten by a spider was because she's a Mary Sue nobody had expectations of a human.

Poor research leads to big loss for backstory; she could have used the "I had to leave my people to live my truth~~" for angst.

Anyway, if you do polymorph her into a real live boy, play it straight. Obviously your character (and you OOC) would think you're doing this poor horny bard a huge favor, considering how heavy "his" situation is on his mind, given how much it's a topic of conversation.
The whole "Human in Menzoberranzan that isn't a slave" thing is still one of the things that drives me up the wall about her Mary Sue-ness. That and the whole "My parents are Drow who went to live on the surface, but my mom is still next in line to be the Matriarch for her family" bullshit. Underdark Drow don't care for surface Drow, but this dumb cunt doesn't seem to know that.

Anyway, I intend to play the 'tism card when I do it and pretend that it was my understanding that she wanted to be a real boy instead of a mutilated woman. Just, you know, in nicer words or something. It's either that, or turning her character into a chair and having the Barbarian smash it to bits.
 
her characters zipper tits
stereotypical horny Bard
I, too, have a D&D pooner story, but she was definitely a lot less annoying than yours.

The one in my campaign was a multiclass bard/druid with a chest binder rather than zippertits. Xe dramatically took off xer shirt and gigachad autist retard DM thought xe meant a binder as in one that holds a bunch of papers. DM had previous experience with an MtF chimping out and leaving for no reason but I didn't know this at the time. It's really funny to me that he actively doesn't give a shit about how trannies work and just goes "I don't get why they hate me so much". Theyfab pooner was generally non-combative so we didn't really argue but I wonder if xe actually made a zippertit character there would've been a fuss, since gigachad autist DM and I both agree that healing magic would grow back boobs if they got cut off.

That campaign was all over the place with a lot of homebrew to the point where we as players tried to clarify what the main goal was, and even the DM was getting confused, so he just kinda gave up on it. There is one other especially pooneresque thing I remember clearly, though. During the timeskip with the cloud people, where the party members each went off and did their own thing for a bit, when my character was working as a blacksmith's apprentice, pooner went shopping for jewelry, saw it was too expensive, and went off to be a babysitter instead.
 
Anyway, I intend to play the 'tism card when I do it and pretend that it was my understanding that she wanted to be a real boy instead of a mutilated woman.
This is an absolutely golden opportunity. I can just see it now: "You're finally a real boy little pooner! :D" and then everyone cheers/claps. Can't wait to hear her reaction.
 
I wonder if my high taxes are funding wholesome activities for teens this summer?

Screenshot_20260625_121536_Firefox~2.jpg
Edit: link, they have safe space rules!
 
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I wonder if my high taxes are funding wholesome activities for teens this summer?

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Edit: link, they have safe space rules!
We always joked about stuffing a ball of socks down our shorts when we were kids. Why can't these pooners actually embrace male culture by using dirty socks instead of feminizing it by sewing bespoke dong substitutes?

OUR CULTURE IS NOT YOUR COSTUME!
 
We always joked about stuffing a ball of socks down our shorts when we were kids. Why can't these pooners actually embrace male culture by using dirty socks instead of feminizing it by sewing bespoke dong substitutes?

OUR CULTURE IS NOT YOUR COSTUME!
My mom told me that when men wore ultra tight pants in the 70’s-80’s that it wasn’t uncommon for some men to stuff a rolled up washcloth in there.

But crocheting is like super cute and they’re queer as fuck having a hobby like crochet as a true and honest dood.
 
A pooner joined my D&D group because one of the dumbass guys is friends with her. She is, of course, playing a pooner character that is such a Mary Sue that it pisses off several of us. She's constantly sharing her Pinterest board(because guys totally make these) for her character and constantly sharing Ariana Grande music she says fits her character.

I've seriously debated on blowing my 9th level spell slot during one of our sessions to True Polymorph her pooner into an actual dude because I'm so fucking sick of her constantly talking about her characters zipper tits. Maybe that'll make her finally fucking leave so we don't have to suffer anymore. Either that or it'll get me kicked from the group which means I won't have to suffer anymore.
So an update on this. I True Polymorphed lil pooner into a Drow male and she had an absolute melty. At first she was very confused and asked me to repeat what I said and I told her "I cast True Polymorph on [pooner character name] to turn him into a Drow male. I thought he'd maybe want to match his parents. :) " This is after I spent the time preparing the components and shit for the spell without anyone but the DM noticing I was doing something because they were all busy getting shit in the town we were in. DM has her roll a WIS save, because she's obviously an unwilling creature, and she failed because lol my Wizard's spell save DC is 25 so her character got turned into a Drow male.

She fucking lost it and started screaming at me while I was sat there with a confused expression and saying "But I thought your character wanted to be a guy? I made him a guy for you so you should be happy!" DM is torn between being mad, or I assume pretending to be mad, at me and trying not to laugh his ass off at what I did and says "Zirnwyb, you really should run things like this by me first." but he doesn't reverse it or anything because I guess he was sick of her shit too. Lil pooner was still freaking the fuck out at me during that, saying some nonsense about how her character being trans was part of her story and her struggle or some shit like that, and I just kept feigning confusion and asking why she'd want to suffer like that when there are ways to make herself be what she truly wants to be.

She tried to get the DM to kick me from the group for what I did and the DM basically told her "No, sorry. Zirnwyb was here first so she gets to stay." and tried to get our mutual friend to back her up on getting me kicked. Mutual friend didn't want to back her up, I guess? So he kinda just ushered her out and messaged us all later that she wasn't coming back because of me being an asshole. Good fucking riddance. :lol:
 
Lil pooner was still freaking the fuck out at me during that, saying some nonsense about how her character being trans was part of her story and her struggle or some shit like that, and I just kept feigning confusion and asking why she'd want to suffer like that when there are ways to make herself be what she truly wants to be.
Her character got the perfect transition that most troons dream of... and she sperged out about it erasing the character's identity. While there's obviously a separation between player and character I think that reaction is example of the difference between pooners and troons. Most troons just want to be a hot dumb bimbo who caters to it's own fetishes, while a lot of pooners just want a label and condition to latch on to as a substitute for a personality and so they'd rather be an easily clockable genderblob than to actually succeed at passing as male. Male mental illness is always so much more straight forward and sane compared to the shit women get up to.
 
She tried to get the DM to kick me from the group for what I did and the DM basically told her "No, sorry. Zirnwyb was here first so she gets to stay." and tried to get our mutual friend to back her up on getting me kicked. Mutual friend didn't want to back her up, I guess? So he kinda just ushered her out and messaged us all later that she wasn't coming back because of me being an asshole. Good fucking riddance. :lol:

Lionel Hutz:
Mr. Simpson, I don't use the word 'hero' lightly, but you are the greatest hero in American history.

Homer:
Woohoo!
 
Her character got the perfect transition that most troons dream of... and she sperged out about it erasing the character's identity. While there's obviously a separation between player and character I think that reaction is example of the difference between pooners and troons. Most troons just want to be a hot dumb bimbo who caters to it's own fetishes, while a lot of pooners just want a label and condition to latch on to as a substitute for a personality and so they'd rather be an easily clockable genderblob than to actually succeed at passing as male. Male mental illness is always so much more straight forward and sane compared to the shit women get up to.
You are incorrect insofar as trannies legit want to be women. They do not and many have communicated that if they could be reborn they'd want to be reborn as troons all over again because reasons. The fact they're men and not actually women IS the fetish, they wouldn't be able to live out that fetish if they were magically female.
 
You are incorrect insofar as trannies legit want to be women. They do not and many have communicated that if they could be reborn they'd want to be reborn as troons all over again because reasons
That mostly seems to because they enjoy the community of fellow fetishists they wouldn't have fit in as if they were born women and because real women are annoying and cringe. Most of them might not want to have been born female but at the same time most would prefer to wake up the next day as a real woman. They want the male upbringing, social group, and sensibilities they have but they want a female body to coom to, Pooners mostly seem like they just want to stand out from other girls, honestly I don't fucking understand pooners but they seem to hate passing as men, hate being seen as women, and I can't put a finger on what it is most of them want under the spaghetti of mental illness and fetishism.

The fact they're men and not actually women IS the fetish, they wouldn't be able to live out that fetish if they were magically female.
Are you denying autogynephilia as a concept entirely? Sure plenty of them probably get boners from the power play of making women uncomfortable but they do still want to fuck themselves as a woman and I imagine the constant reminders of being male hampers that side of the fetish.
 
Are you denying autogynephilia as a concept entirely? Sure plenty of them probably get boners from the power play of making women uncomfortable but they do still want to fuck themselves as a woman and I imagine the constant reminders of being male hampers that side of the fetish.
No, the fetish is specifically in crossdressing and play acting as a woman, not legit being one. Most of the melodrama around dysphoria is a complete LARP and all just a part of the performance.

Pooners are easy to understand when you view them as the gender flipped version of AGP. People don't understand them because they don't understand the type of porn pooners might get into that leads to (or exacerbates) the issue, which is mainly weird gay internet comics and fanfic. They want to be a feminine twink that romantic counterparts inexplicably treat the same way you would a woman in a romantic context (in fact to a hyper stereotypical way). There is also a mix of modern proggie programming where they think a lot of masculine traits are merely forced performances for the le heccin patterwhacky so it's no biggie to be total quirk chungus, it's totally wholesome!!! They autistically misread maleness in the same way troons misread femaleness but nonetheless fetishize it. Even down to stuff like said gay yaoi shit being made by females for females and thus completely abstracted from the reality of actual gays and lesbian porn being made for males by males completely abstracted from the reality of actual lesbians are mirror versions of each other.
 
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