📚 Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

DOS Tip:

r/abrathatfits on Reddit is an excellent place to harvest pooners whose "gender journey has recently gone in a different direction" and are now looking for bra advice to cure their dysphoria over having had their tits lopped off because of social contagion and grooming.

Enter if you will the glorious world of mastectomy bras with pockets to hold silicone prostheses. True and honest breast cancer survivors can get a yearly prescription for bras and foobs covered by insurance or Medicare (US centric though I'm sure the less civilized first world countries have some weak imitation of this service). No idea if insurance will pay for top surgery regret by autistic girls though.

My advice to these pooners-with-ragrets? Stay flat, it's not as if anyone will notice or care as long as you dress like a normal human being. It's not like these autistic girls will ever find themselves having to disclose their mutilation to a potential date either, right?

They also need to keep in mind that surgically flat chests with irreversible nerve damage aren't going to appreciate tight heavy undergarments, especially with quality prosthetics that mimic the weight and movement of natural tits. OEM boobage is supported with ligaments and skin; foobs only stay put with adhesive and/or heavy duty spandex.

Dumb girls and their gender journeys.
 
Going to be interacting with a pooner tomorrow (female legal name typical pooner preferred name), and it’s going to give me the greatest pleasure to add F to her file.

From the pooner name heavily betting on a yaoi poisoned zero effort one.
 
That kid’s going to grow up to despise her “””father””” once she gets a little older and it really sinks in how fucked up her living situation is. I cannot wait for the torrent of memoirs from Gen Alpha children spilling the beans about their tranny parents.
Do we know that kid is a girl? Poondad could be just trooning out a boy.
 
偽ちんこ
腐り落つるの
哀れかな

My fake dick
rots and falls off
Ah, how pitiful!
Nice! And proper use of the literary attributive form in the second line, no less.

I might change 偽 to 似非 (えせ) because the latter captures the whole "self-proclaimed", "erzatz", "kinda-but-not-really-fooling-anyone" quality of the whole clown-show.

I think I have to go feed these into an AI and produce some uki-yo-e woodblock-print-style images.
 
A pooner joined my D&D group because one of the dumbass guys is friends with her. She is, of course, playing a pooner character that is such a Mary Sue that it pisses off several of us. She's constantly sharing her Pinterest board(because guys totally make these) for her character and constantly sharing Ariana Grande music she says fits her character.

I've seriously debated on blowing my 9th level spell slot during one of our sessions to True Polymorph her pooner into an actual dude because I'm so fucking sick of her constantly talking about her characters zipper tits. Maybe that'll make her finally fucking leave so we don't have to suffer anymore. Either that or it'll get me kicked from the group which means I won't have to suffer anymore.
 
A pooner joined my D&D group because one of the dumbass guys is friends with her. She is, of course, playing a pooner character that is such a Mary Sue that it pisses off several of us. She's constantly sharing her Pinterest board(because guys totally make these) for her character and constantly sharing Ariana Grande music she says fits her character.

I've seriously debated on blowing my 9th level spell slot during one of our sessions to True Polymorph her pooner into an actual dude because I'm so fucking sick of her constantly talking about her characters zipper tits. Maybe that'll make her finally fucking leave so we don't have to suffer anymore. Either that or it'll get me kicked from the group which means I won't have to suffer anymore.
Absolutely do it and report back
 
A pooner joined my D&D group because one of the dumbass guys is friends with her. She is, of course, playing a pooner character that is such a Mary Sue that it pisses off several of us. She's constantly sharing her Pinterest board(because guys totally make these) for her character and constantly sharing Ariana Grande music she says fits her character.

I've seriously debated on blowing my 9th level spell slot during one of our sessions to True Polymorph her pooner into an actual dude because I'm so fucking sick of her constantly talking about her characters zipper tits. Maybe that'll make her finally fucking leave so we don't have to suffer anymore. Either that or it'll get me kicked from the group which means I won't have to suffer anymore.
im more curious how all this character/pooner sperging fits into the campaign conversation

like what is going on that requires the player to just yammer on about their trans character instead of say, following the fucking dm's story

edit: i want more fucking goss NOW
 
im more curious how all this character/pooner sperging fits into the campaign conversation

like what is going on that requires the player to just yammer on about their trans character instead of say, following the fucking dm's story

edit: i want more fucking goss NOW
She likes to bring it up because she's a Bard and plays her pooner as the stereotypical horny Bard. So she'll bring up the zipper tits to NPCs we're interacting with because she'll make her pooner flirt with them. She's actually tried to make her character flirt with everyone else's characters at the table which has made people wildly uncomfortable and pissed me the fuck off when she tried it with my character.

Even OOC she will frequently talk about how hard it was for her character being transgender and growing up in Menzoberranzan. Mind you, she p;ays a Human who she claims was adopted by Drow that live on the surface. Her character pooned out down there in Menzo, because we all know the Drow would be accepting of that, and was beloved by all still.
 
Let a they/them Pooner talk long enough and they'll start sounding like the Westboro Baptist Church. Never before did I think I'd see zoomers use "GRIDS" in regards to anal sex. Original thread here.
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"Die AIDS faggot" but make it woke
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Same people talk about wanting to get "bred" by well hung males, btw. Not too long ago, they were also laughing at sex differences in human anuses, yet here we are.
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If normal people said this they'd be accused of hate crimes. When pooners do it, it's to get gay men to fuck their pussies.
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A not-so-small amount of these queers are on the fujo train. This is what they actually think about gay men.

Here's the profile:
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I thought you could grow prostates?
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Here's our he/him 16 year old.
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I cropped the image. 16, calls herself a faggot, but only the PIV kind. Keep that GRIDS shit away from her.
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"If men woke up with a pussy they'd use it"
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"You need to fuck me in my pussy because it's the only pleasurable way I have sex. It's natural, you AIDS faggot"
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The profile involves calling other women sluts:
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"Womb plaps"
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Another 16-year-old talking about the dangers of anal sex while she roasts her esophagus with her constant purging:
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They teach teens not to be homophobic, yet...
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Oh? I thought you DID grow prostates? 🤔
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Don't fuck these bonus holes boys in the ass, it's dangerous and unhealthy and they might get AIDS!
The original thread was here:
 
I mean they're correct anal is gross and risky and all that but if that's how they feel then why the fuck are they desperate to larp as gay bois?? And why obsess over yaoi, even with the ability to just pretend you don't need to worry about shit during bussy activities????

Just fucking be into M/F shit like you really want to for fuck's sake. There is this weird gunshyness around engaging with things that are "heteronormative" and they can't call themselves special for that so they, what...poon out?

The mind boggles.
 
There is this weird gunshyness around engaging with things that are "heteronormative" and they can't call themselves special for that so they, what...poon out?
They've been taught their entire lives that anything normal (cishetero normative blah blah) is bad and that questioning it, destroying it, fagging it up, etc is good. Tearing things down that work in order to make them queer is progress.
 
Tearing things down that work in order to make them queer is progress
It took me a while to become able to define and articulate the term as they employ it, but yes, pretty much.

It's destruction and perversion practised for its own sake, not even destruction to create a void in which something new and superior might be built.

They are cultural vandals.
 
Going to be interacting with a pooner tomorrow (female legal name typical pooner preferred name), and it’s going to give me the greatest pleasure to add F to her file.

From the pooner name heavily betting on a yaoi poisoned zero effort one.
Update: not a pooner, it’s a they/them woman.

Completely female presenting biological woman with a special gender and dumb fucking stereotypical pooner name.
 
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