The Poetry Thread

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A knife I am it seems to me,
Fashioned by some unknown hand,
Not by my own I hope and pray,
Or if it be I'm damned.

I am sometimes a witness dumb,
And othertimes protest,
Each time that I am lifted up,
And plunged into a chest.

I twist and turn within their grip,
As I pierce through the bone,
But by far the worst thing is,
That the chest they pierce's their own.

If God made me then I know not why
He made of me this knife,
That even by another's hand,
I have taken life.

And if the fault is mine,
Through some failing or some flaw,
Then let me suffer for it,
I deserve it all the more.
 
@BedBath-Infinity & Beyond I think this is the thread for our own poetry. The one for poems we like is here .

I'm so happy that my life is great,
So glad I got the chance,
To be the things I want to be,
I'm so joyful I could dance!
I'm so happy that the world is good,
And our leaders are all honest,
I'm so happy how they spend my tax,
And deliver what they promised.
I'm so happy no-one ever said,
"I love you" as a lie,

And I say in total honesty,
I'm so happy I could die.
 
There once was a young knight from Neath,
Who from a maiden sought a certain relief,
She said 'Sir, you're bold,'
'But I beg you, please hold'
For your sword is too long for my sheath.
 
Última edición por un moderador:
Poem for a Cow

The worst part
About knowing you, without
Ever really
Knowing
You, is that your
Absence
Leaves far, far too much room for
Me to wonder, sometimes,
What you felt in those fleeting
Moments.

You know: the
Little moments where the world was
Once again uniquely
Yours, only yours;
The moments before you spoke,
Those breaths before you
Posted your persecuted perceptions of
Whatever it was that had most recently
Caught your vitriol: to me, caught as
A fox catches a rabbit, but to you, maybe,
Caught as a stray wire catches on skin; the
Moments where you
Looked in the mirror and you were not really a
Virgin,
At least, not in the
Colloquial, literal, coital sense:
But instead, sort of just,
Virginal; just a human, just
Like Mary, your mother, me.

Your absence leaves far,
Far too much room for me to ask
Absentmindedly of you:

"Did you wonder, even for
A second, a heartbeat,
If you were part of something
Greater
Than yourself?"


Far, far too much room to take such a
Weighty query, and to ask it of you: with
All the easiness of
Knowing
That I do not have to brace for an answer;

To ask it of you,
With all the heedless naivete
Of a stupid little child
Visiting a farm
And asking aloud of one dam
If she made for me the milk that I had poured over my cereal that very morning.


Super stream of consciousness wordvomit. Obviously about the farms, but I genuinely don't know what I was even trying to say with it. God cursed me by giving me an interest in poetry, and then making me too much of a sperg to understand it, even/especially when I'm the one fucking writing it:stress:
 
(Cross-posting from my contribution in the Lolcow v. LFJ thread)

There once was a guy named Elliot Fong,
He said that the Farms had done him wrong,
'Cause we document,
His 'consent accident',
And we'll do it all day long.

Now he calls himself, Liz Fong-Jones,
But his face is still rectangular like Nokia phones,
Yet despite it all,
He thinks he is a gal,
'Cause he now has no cojones.

He'll sue you for this, he'll sue you for that,
'Cause if you can't have a pussy, you can still be a twat,
He may smell funny,
But he's sure got money,
And a face that's is unnaturally flat.
 
There was a young lassie from Crewe,
Who'd the job of a handyman do,
She was crap with a hammer,
And no good with a spanner,
But people would hire her to screw
.
 
I have a little problem,
One might even say a curse,
I always try to make things better,
And I always make them worse.

I've made everything around me
From the day I learned to crawl,
A blight, a pain, a nuisance,
Why was I born at all?

The saddest thing about my life,
Is the harder that I try,
The more I hurt those I want to help,
Why don't I just die?
 
Poem about how I was looking for a job and then I found a job and heaven knows I'm miserable now

Rigor Mortis
monday morning
in the rigor mortis
of the seven am air
i walk down to where
my car sits underneath
the powerline and there
is shit on the windows
because the galahs
like our bird bath and
there is no room for me
to park anywhere else
and i wipe the frost from
the driver side window
and when i look inside
i notice that there is already
a body there and it is
completely still but still
warm and it is covered
in flies even though it has
been too cold lately for flies
and i notice that it is my body
and that i have forgotten to put makeup on.
 
Poem about how I was looking for a job and then I found a job and heaven knows I'm miserable now

Rigor Mortis
monday morning
in the rigor mortis
of the seven am air
i walk down to where
my car sits underneath
the powerline and there
is shit on the windows
because the galahs
like our bird bath and
there is no room for me
to park anywhere else
and i wipe the frost from
the driver side window
and when i look inside
i notice that there is already
a body there and it is
completely still but still
warm and it is covered
in flies even though it has
been too cold lately for flies
and i notice that it is my body
and that i have forgotten to put makeup on.
The title takes me way back (though probably for much more literal reasons than what you were going for).

A-Lack-And . . .

"Sehr gut" in tinny echoed tones
We reach and reach ever beyond
Through flesh gone slack down to the bones
In drainage's greenish black pond

No fish pollute its stately sheen
A testament to things unwound
Our implements remain obscene
Truss up that turkey morgueward-bound

And yet the trip itself a bore
Past beast and babe, down to the vault
Standing outside, stifling a snore
As drip the hours, who's at fault?

This hot potato's sure gone cold
Quick, get 'em in, stack 'em up high
Down here they'll wait, upstairs they're sold
More bored than sick, nary a fly
 
A few years ago I threw together a video presentation with a bunch of my poems. I tried to leave enough time between each for a fast reader to be able to finish them, but if it's too fast (or if you don't like Coltrane's "My Favorite Things") then just put it on mute, and pause it, and skip ahead one by one at your leisure.


p.s. One quick note about the very first one. All birds are literally dinosaurs, so the idea that they're "rare" is an intentionally ironic note, since we're surrounded by billions of little flying dinosaurs.

EDIT: Shhhhhhhhhhit, sorry, I forgot that a few years ago I was a videomaking n00b and I didn't understand that I needed to choose a 1:1 ratio for the text to be legible. Here are some of the poems:

arta5k.jpg
artacd.jpg
artakg.jpg artaq6.jpg artayp.jpg artbl7.jpg

Those poems are over 7 years old. Tempus fucking fugit. I didn't write poems for a couple years after those, then I wrote a shitload in November of 2022, prompted by a girlfriend who suggested I write one poem per day and call it Poevember. By then, I had become pretty fucking based. Not nearly as incomprehensibly, ineffably based as I am now, but definitely less naive than I was in 2018/2019.

20240910_205646.jpg 20240910_205443.jpg 20240910_205424.jpg

*They've

71qmrv.jpg 20240910_205536.jpg 20240910_205506.jpg 20240910_205706.jpg 20221105_052315.jpg 20240910_205811.jpg 20240910_205754.jpg 71orsk.jpg 20240910_205909.jpg

"Poememes", I called those.
 
Última edición:
The Last Englishman
England in the modern time
A land of muck and crime
London reduced to a cesspit of strangers
Birmingham being a haven for dangers
Town to town, foreigners galore
Savage relics from a lost time before
A rape over here, a stabbing over there
Can now be found nearly everywhere
The English, struggling, trying to breathe
As the powers that be bash in their teeth
Their sons and daughters offered as sacrifice
To atone for an arcane, forgotten vice
"Your land is ours" the vermin say
"And for your sins you shall pay
Your legacies shall be stripped off thy hand
And your necks be marked with the cursed brand"
They bled and tirelessly fought
To prevent their futures from becoming naught
As the state tried to crush their soul
They kept intact their precious goal
A home where their people are free
With peace, tranquility and dignity
So they marched on with a glint in their eye
And a hope that the end is not nigh
For till the last Englishman ceases his breath
England shall never meet the jaws of death

Idk what prompted me to write this, Im quite surprised myself, too much of the news I guess. Felt bad for brits.
Also been reading a lot of Robert E Howard's unpublished poetry. Most of its very horny in a charming way.
 

@Incandenza I found those very interesting. Particularly the journey I can see over time. The Winnie the Pooh poememe made me chuckle first at the concept, then at the implementation. I applaud your increasing basedness.


@funwithshemales69 I'm glad you shared that. I'm also glad that despite its darkness, there's a defiance to it.

Here's another of mine:

The Bus

I pass round bottled water,
I comfort those who cry,
I smell the smoke grow thicker,
And I straighten up my tie.

I look down at the driver,
Who grips the wheel tight,
His noseless face stares dead ahead,
His finger bones are white.

We all have rattled at the door,
And battered at the glass,
But all of us watch helplessly,
As the wasteland hurtles past.

In my youth I grabbed those bony shoulders,
"You'll turn around I swore!"
Death, our steadfast driver,
Pressed his tarsals to the floor.

I could join the screaming passengers,
And some nights I scream too,
But mostly I hold their hands and ask,
Is there anything I can do?

We are a strange assembly,
Some are quite content,
They chat or read or watch TV,
And rarely do dissent.

Others rage and struggle,
And beg to take a different road,
We see the turnings clearly marked,
As they're ahead, then going, then go'ed.

Now in my middle years,
I've spent my life at breakneck speed,
I'm about ready for another go,
To perhaps this time succeed.

I see a few more between the seats,
Those who know but do not tell,
I count thirty-six who'll try to turn,
Around the bus to Hell.
 
Apologies to Byron and Coleridge I guess.


You walk with human steps beside my stream
And I, bright sprite of water, dare to dream,
That one day you will look and catch my eye,
Of polished jet reflecting moonlit sky,
And leave the land, and loving, wish to flee
The grassy bank to dart and swim with me
Dare I wish for such unlikely grace,
That you would share the water, my embrace?
‘Tis folly wishing such a future bright and bold
And so I tumble lonesome in the water’s icy cold.
 
@Incandenza I found those very interesting. Particularly the journey I can see over time. The Winnie the Pooh poememe made me chuckle first at the concept, then at the implementation. I applaud your increasing basedness.

@funwithshemales69 I'm glad you shared that. I'm also glad that despite its darkness, there's a defiance to it.


Here's another of mine:

The Bus

I pass round bottled water,
I comfort those who cry,
I smell the smoke grow thicker,
And I straighten up my tie.

I look down at the driver,
Who grips the wheel tight,
His noseless face stares dead ahead,
His finger bones are white.

We all have rattled at the door,
And battered at the glass,
But all of us watch helplessly,
As the wasteland hurtles past.

In my youth I grabbed those bony shoulders,
"You'll turn around I swore!"
Death, our steadfast driver,
Pressed his tarsals to the floor.

I could join the screaming passengers,
And some nights I scream too,
But mostly I hold their hands and ask,
Is there anything I can do?

We are a strange assembly,
Some are quite content,
They chat or read or watch TV,
And rarely do dissent.

Others rage and struggle,
And beg to take a different road,
We see the turnings clearly marked,
As they're ahead, then going, then go'ed.

Now in my middle years,
I've spent my life at breakneck speed,
I'm about ready for another go,
To perhaps this time succeed.

I see a few more between the seats,
Those who know but do not tell,
I count thirty-six who'll try to turn,
Around the bus to Hell.

36!!!! Ahhhh. I juuuuust got that.
Lamed Vavniks, mmmm. Good call.
But be aware: There are anti-LV's out there.
36 Actually Good Jews do exist, improbably.
Naturally, they will despise their own tribe.
Just like the very best & rarest Jews always do.
Moses, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Jesus, et al.

I should write something new, hmmm...
A quick medium-sized poem.

Their grasp on our heels slipped away,
Soup dumped on their eggheads, fur burned.
Stolen birthrights will be returned.


This prison of theirs: Too fake, too gay.
They forgot the little they had learned,
And stayed evil, when they should've turned.

Their magic wore off, their tricks are old hat.
Now they must eat the bullshit they shat.
Dumber than niggers, flaunting our bike,
What will happen to the exposed kike?

God's a Ted fan, too, sick with a bat.
Roth skulls are thick, but no match for that.
God patiently bluffed: Foul tip! Strike!
Maybe the next one misses, too? SIKE!
 
The Rubicon

Where is the bottle of Rubicon?
I could swear that I did buy it,
I remember putting it in my basket,
But I go to the fridge and it's gone.

It cost me over two quid,
I hope I didn't leave it behind,
I do not remember drinking it,
But I suppose possibly I did.

Through yesterday's rubbish I plough,
Down into my bin.
Oh! - there's the empty bottle, a shame!
For I'd have quite liked one now.


(Experimenting with atypical metres. May take a second read to click.)
 
The Rubicon

Where is the bottle of Rubicon?
I could swear that I did buy it,
I remember putting it in my basket,
But I go to the fridge and it's gone.

It cost me over two quid,
I hope I didn't leave it behind,
I do not remember drinking it,
But I suppose possibly I did.

Through yesterday's rubbish I plough,
Down into my bin.
Oh! - there's the empty bottle, a shame!
For I'd have quite liked one now.


(Experimenting with atypical metres. May take a second read to click.)

Is that a booze brand? I'm a stoner, not a lush.

"Rubicon" reminds me of a silly type of non-verbal performative poem I regularly do when I see one of those Rubicon vehicles pass on the street. I'll either a) bless it like a priest, or b) do an Iverson crossover. Occasionally, the drivers get the joke and laugh. "Crossing the Rubicon", lol.

Sooooooooooo...

I have an idea.

Maybe it should be its own spinoff thread.

Somewhere I just read that every 5 years or so, people complain that poetry book reviews and criticism in general is either a) an insular world of obscure nerds endlessly flattering each other, or b) woke scolding. Nobody is ever brutally honest about poetic FAILURE. Not even one faulty line within an otherwise good poem. No other type of literary criticism does that. It's because poetry became abstract art, versus...you know, POEMS. The kind of poems people REMEMBER. Weird but true: NORMIES USED TO MEMORIZE PRESTIGE POEMS. Out of pure love, even, not just for school. Imagine that. What happened. Anyway...

How about a Poetic Faceoff?
The poetry equivalent of Verzuz.
Oh wait, that's also poetry.
Static poems, tho.
To be read.

Let's start by pitting two father-themed poems.

@Absurdity Wanna be a judge? 🙂

Father Poem #1:

20260519_050418.jpg

Father Poem #2:

20260519_050242.jpg

A'ight, who ya got?
 
A knife I am it seems to me,
Fashioned by some unknown hand,
Not by my own I hope and pray,
Or if it be I'm damned.

I am sometimes a witness dumb,
And othertimes protest,
Each time that I am lifted up,
And plunged into a chest.

I twist and turn within their grip,
As I pierce through the bone,
But by far the worst thing is,
That the chest they pierce's their own.

If God made me then I know not why
He made of me this knife,
That even by another's hand,
I have taken life.

And if the fault is mine,
Through some failing or some flaw,
Then let me suffer for it,
I deserve it all the more.

Sooooooooooooooooo...

Is this place inhabited by famous undead poets?

It's like Emily Dickinson tried her hand at an Edna St. Vincent Millay type of poem, if Emily had also dated more men and driven a couple to suicide (why, because she was deep down a stone cold lesbian who'd never really love them and was kinda thrilled that she could affect men that way?) like Elizabeth Bishop did.

It's also what I'd expect from, say, Amy Lawless, if she had temporarily ditched the avant garde shit to dive into the simple but deep FORMAL end of the poetry pool.

Hi Amy. 👋🙂

🤣

(You might not be her, sorry if you aren't.)

(But if you are her, then...)

(...that was awesome, lmao.)
 
Poem for a Cow

The worst part
About knowing you, without
Ever really
Knowing
You, is that your
Absence
Leaves far, far too much room for
Me to wonder, sometimes,
What you felt in those fleeting
Moments.

You know: the
Little moments where the world was
Once again uniquely
Yours, only yours;
The moments before you spoke,
Those breaths before you
Posted your persecuted perceptions of
Whatever it was that had most recently
Caught your vitriol: to me, caught as
A fox catches a rabbit, but to you, maybe,
Caught as a stray wire catches on skin; the
Moments where you
Looked in the mirror and you were not really a
Virgin,
At least, not in the
Colloquial, literal, coital sense:
But instead, sort of just,
Virginal; just a human, just
Like Mary, your mother, me.

Your absence leaves far,
Far too much room for me to ask
Absentmindedly of you:

"Did you wonder, even for
A second, a heartbeat,
If you were part of something
Greater
Than yourself?"


Far, far too much room to take such a
Weighty query, and to ask it of you: with
All the easiness of
Knowing
That I do not have to brace for an answer;

To ask it of you,
With all the heedless naivete
Of a stupid little child
Visiting a farm
And asking aloud of one dam
If she made for me the milk that I had poured over my cereal that very morning.


Super stream of consciousness wordvomit. Obviously about the farms, but I genuinely don't know what I was even trying to say with it. God cursed me by giving me an interest in poetry, and then making me too much of a sperg to understand it, even/especially when I'm the one fucking writing it:stress:

It seems to be addressed to a God you've felt is absent? Here, lemme cosplay a response as_God, to show you how one could plausibly misinterpret your humble Farms poem as a profound theological meditation. As I see it, God would obviously rhyme. Because rhyming is fun, and literally casting a magic spell, and easier to memorize, etc. God probably cares about meter, too, but I don't...I'll try to count out an even number of syllables on my fingers, tho, just to approximate meter. AND NOW I KNOW, THIS HERE SHOULD BE IN TINY FONT.

God, the Lolcow

I bellowed letter after letter to you all.
You thought it unlikely a cow could speak,
So you never returned my call.

You only heard the moos you were taught to expect,
Deaf to whatever you chose not to seek.
Surprise! Cows can think, and reflect.

I'm late, but yourrrrr brain went AWOL.
Must be daunting to meet me, if you're weak.
"Inherit this gift. What the fuck...
WHERE'D YOU GO, LOL?!"

A child's instinct to project
Mind in me is no blunder, cocky geek!
We know they know we know
That's our milk, and it's perfect.
 
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