- Registrado
- 18 de Jun, 2015
These next couple of chapters are duds. They just aren't that funny to mock. Sorry all.
Spoiler alert, this doesn't happen.
So our heroes go to turn away, when...
To those of you who have seen the movie, these lines might sound quite familiar. For those who haven't, this book scene corresponds with this scene in the movie, in all of its one minute glory.
Read all of Gertrude's lines as this actress did. I laughed.
So the fairies summon a wall of fire and Joey is scared. However, Maya tries to convince him that the wall of fire is merely an illusion.
Wow, glad to see Tesch doesn't know how to build tension, they solved the problem in six lines.
However, leaping over the wall of fire means nothing, because the fairies have more tricks up their sleeves. But fortunately, our heroes are saved!
CATO! OH GOD GAS ME NOW! So this creature is obviously an amalgamation of Thor and a Roman name, so that automatically triggers all historians. The fairies, being outmatched, flee, burning the carts behind them.
Oh fuck you. This is the most blatant Mary Sue bullshit so far and its only going to get worse from here.
Libertine chimes in at this point.
Thanks Libby. She urges our heroes to go before Abaddon escapes from prison.
This chapter once again shows Gloria's inability to write action or tension. Our villains have been shown to be completely impotent in the face of the overwhelming forces' on the heroes' side. How are we supposed to get behind the heroes if they never fail?
This is some abstract shit.
These names are retarded. Imperator, okay, fine. it sounds somewhat impressive. Blackpool is...less so. Also, gotta love that the black unicorn is literally called Black. Amazing.
They start to go up a mountain path and it snows. This terrifies Maya and Joey, as apparently they've never seen snow like that. Fair enough, they are from Florida. Imperator starts talking about how they can avoid freezing to death, and Blackpool chimes in with this gem.
Even the Unicorns are smarter than Maya and Joey. Incredible.
The heroes curl up with the Unicorns and fall asleep. They then go into a dream sequence where both of them take their clothes off and dive into a lake. (It's the Pool of Blood from later on in the book) They start to burn up at the bottom of the lake and they scream, before Abaddon appears.
The villain is eerily beautiful. That's another cliche checked off the list. So Abbadon is actually kind intimidating here and cackles while mocking them. I wonder if he'll be this threatening in person.
So our heroes wake up and explain that they've both had the same dream to each other. Then the snowstorm just...stops.
This sentence is so redundant.
The chapter ends, and it was completely pointless. This dream is never brought up again. Next time, we enter the Valley of Imma, where we can finally see what THE ENCOURAGERS are all about.
Spoiler alert, this doesn't happen.
So our heroes go to turn away, when...
To those of you who have seen the movie, these lines might sound quite familiar. For those who haven't, this book scene corresponds with this scene in the movie, in all of its one minute glory.
Read all of Gertrude's lines as this actress did. I laughed.
So the fairies summon a wall of fire and Joey is scared. However, Maya tries to convince him that the wall of fire is merely an illusion.
Wow, glad to see Tesch doesn't know how to build tension, they solved the problem in six lines.
However, leaping over the wall of fire means nothing, because the fairies have more tricks up their sleeves. But fortunately, our heroes are saved!
CATO! OH GOD GAS ME NOW! So this creature is obviously an amalgamation of Thor and a Roman name, so that automatically triggers all historians. The fairies, being outmatched, flee, burning the carts behind them.
Oh fuck you. This is the most blatant Mary Sue bullshit so far and its only going to get worse from here.
Libertine chimes in at this point.
Thanks Libby. She urges our heroes to go before Abaddon escapes from prison.
This chapter once again shows Gloria's inability to write action or tension. Our villains have been shown to be completely impotent in the face of the overwhelming forces' on the heroes' side. How are we supposed to get behind the heroes if they never fail?
This is some abstract shit.
These names are retarded. Imperator, okay, fine. it sounds somewhat impressive. Blackpool is...less so. Also, gotta love that the black unicorn is literally called Black. Amazing.
They start to go up a mountain path and it snows. This terrifies Maya and Joey, as apparently they've never seen snow like that. Fair enough, they are from Florida. Imperator starts talking about how they can avoid freezing to death, and Blackpool chimes in with this gem.
Even the Unicorns are smarter than Maya and Joey. Incredible.
The heroes curl up with the Unicorns and fall asleep. They then go into a dream sequence where both of them take their clothes off and dive into a lake. (It's the Pool of Blood from later on in the book) They start to burn up at the bottom of the lake and they scream, before Abaddon appears.
The villain is eerily beautiful. That's another cliche checked off the list. So Abbadon is actually kind intimidating here and cackles while mocking them. I wonder if he'll be this threatening in person.
So our heroes wake up and explain that they've both had the same dream to each other. Then the snowstorm just...stops.
This sentence is so redundant.
The chapter ends, and it was completely pointless. This dream is never brought up again. Next time, we enter the Valley of Imma, where we can finally see what THE ENCOURAGERS are all about.
