The Local Nutters of Great Britain - Every estate and highstreet seems to have at least one

Let me just leave this here:

Along with some lyrics, courtesy of @Ginger Piglet
You better not flex,
You better not lift.
You better give your workout a short shrift
Cos Purple Aki's coming to town.

He'll measure your peaks
He'll measure your troughs.
He'll make you do for him press ups and squats
Purple Aki's coming to town.

He'll chase you down the railway
He's hiding in your bed.
He'll force you to do sit ups
And rape you nearly dead!

So if you are swole
Purple Aki's mirin'
And he won't stop at the sound of a siren.
Purple Aki's coming to town.

He's measuring your biceps,
He's fondling your shanks,
He's squeezing your buttocks
Then running off for a wank.

So if you are swole
Purple Aki's mirin'
And he won't stop at the sound of a siren.
Purple Aki's coming to town.
 
I'm pretty sure we've got a thread on Purple Aki somewhere.

Uh, local weirdos - I moved to the city I'm in now a year ago, so haven't really gotten a feel for the local fauna yet. In East London, where I'm originally from, we had Megaphone Man patrolling Oxford Street in the majority, but I'm pretty sure I remember seeing him in Stratford town centre too.
Stratford station has been swamped with fundies since the olympic games were hosted there: they're usually incredibly loud little old black ladies exhorting the virtues of Christ and decrying humanity in general for their complete disinterest in what they're preaching.

I remember there being one guy on the high street of the town where I grew up who had no hands - his arms ended about six inches below the elbow, and he'd beg outside the bank. Nice guy, and totally undeserving of mention in this thread beyond his utterly inexplicable ability to successfully roll cigarettes. I have no idea how he achieved it, but it made for amazing viewing. This vastly predates the existence of youtube, so there's no evidence of it unfortunately.

London's a bit of a difficult one for lolcows, because they tend to blend into the background rather well - in a city that's numbering over 8.7 million, you'd be hard pressed to identify notable individuals. The hipsters of Hoxton seem to produce a fuck of a lot of lolcows, though: it's like Portland turned up to 11 and fed a steady diet of cocaine and trust funds. The richer ones have started moving to Margate now, which is a shithole of a former seaside resort town on the Kent coast.
 
DangerousGas dijo:
The hipsters of Hoxton seem to produce a fuck of a lot of lolcows, though: it's like Portland turned up to 11 and fed a steady diet of cocaine and trust funds. The richer ones have started moving to Margate now, which is a shithole of a former seaside resort town on the Kent coast.
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Last time I was in London, the Shoreditch Twats had expanded to infest Hackney and Dalston and then joined up with a similar colony in Stoke Newington.

And... does this mean Margate is the new Brighton?
 
Ginger Piglet dijo:
Last time I was in London, the Shoreditch Twats had expanded to infest Hackney and Dalston and then joined up with a similar colony in Stoke Newington.

And... does this mean Margate is the new Brighton?
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I left when hipsters had been spotted in Forest Gate.

To answer your next point, yes.
 
In a small rural village where a friend lives up north in the hills, there's a hoarder on a row of terrace houses. He loves to hoard vehicles, cars, jeeps, vans, whatever he can get his hands on. Recently however, peer in through his front living room window, and you'll see he's actually re-built a jeep in the front room, piece by piece. Walk by at night and see the lights on... those aren't ceiling lights, those are the lights from the jeep.
 
I've often thought there's something in the British character that tolerates and even celebrates eccentricity, as the UK seems to produce more and better nutters per capita than anywhere else on Earth. Whole books have been written about the wide variety of odd human specimens that inhabit the island.
One thing I've noticed: like their American cousins, most UK eccentrics seem to come from either the upper classes, or the poor. I suppose it's because in the former group, you can pretty much behave any way that you want without endangering your livelihood, whereas in the latter, you have nothing to lose and can Freak Freely.
 
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UselessRubberKeyboard dijo:
There used to be an old-ish guy in Coventry who drove around the ring road on his mobility scooter regularly.
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he must have had balls made from cast iron, or been suicidially stupid; the Coventry Ringway is possibly the most mental and intimidating road in the British isles
 
An Sionnach Seang dijo:
he must have had balls made from cast iron, or been suicidially stupid; the Coventry Ringway is possibly the most mental and intimidating road in the British isles
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The M60 Junction 19 Roundabout is always fucking awful, and the Barton Bridge is pants-shittingly terrifying when it's windy.
 
DangerousGas dijo:
You need to try riding a motorbike on the A13 someday.
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CWCissey dijo:
The M60 Junction 19 Roundabout is always fucking awful, and the Barton Bridge is pants-shittingly terrifying when it's windy.
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the Coventry Ringway is all grade-separated (apart from one roundabout), there are nine junctions in two miles, and through traffic is directed into the outside lane, because the inside lane is reserved for entering and exiting traffic, as the junctions are so close together; it's basically a case of merge or die

it's one of those few fantastic road plans from the 1960s, along with the M8 in central Glasgow, that actually got built
 
An Sionnach Seang dijo:
the Coventry Ringway is all grade-separated (apart from one roundabout), there are nine junctions in two miles, and through traffic is directed into the outside lane, because the inside lane is reserved for entering and exiting traffic, as the junctions are so close together; it's basically a case of merge or die

it's one of those few fantastic road plans from the 1960s, along with the M8 in central Glasgow, that actually got built
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Ahh, basically sounds like Junction 12-15 of the M60. (14 and 15 are particular bastards)
 
An Sionnach Seang dijo:
the Coventry Ringway is all grade-separated (apart from one roundabout), there are nine junctions in two miles, and through traffic is directed into the outside lane, because the inside lane is reserved for entering and exiting traffic, as the junctions are so close together; it's basically a case of merge or die

it's one of those few fantastic road plans from the 1960s, along with the M8 in central Glasgow, that actually got built
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I live in Birmingham, so yes, I'm familiar with the godawful design of the Coventry ring road. I nominated the A13 on two wheels because it is pure prolapse-inducing terror. I used to commute on it, and I would not recommend the experience to anyone. Coventry's ring road is crap but distinctly less terrifying, I promise you.
 
There used to be a wealthy young lad in our area, who pretty much had everything going for him.

Sadly, the poor bastard lost his mind when his fiance left him.

He turned into "Creepy Jesus", a guy who would walk up and down the motorway between two towns that were 15 miles apart. He had a big, unkempt beard, long, frizzy hair and wore orange prison-style trousers that were ripped to shreds and practically falling off him. People would sometimes pull over to offer him a lift, but he would just look at them like he was going to rip their heads off.
 
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