Lolcow of the Year: Styx
As an aside, while he's been active for a while and his thread existed, Jason Thor Hall really didn't come out as a lolcow until 2025, he should be considered fresh meat, but that aside.
Fresh Meat: Karl "Just walk away" Jobst
Misc Female Cow: Candace Owens, don't trust her, but let the black lady schizo post about a dead dude.
Side Character: Billy "The King of Kong" Mitchell
Opsec Fail: Lurking Lemur
All that aside, very nice look to the page and I'd say it's good to have a 2-minute recap for why people should be voted as best retard. It'll help the randoms understand, and might even draw attention to get people to register.