The "Is Kat Pregnant" speculation thread - MichaelScottShoutingNo.GIF

[BallBuster]

holy shit, that's a baby

isolated the clip

trim.E71ECB4C-31F0-4D4E-80CA-45AB6A972715.MOV

IT sort of sounds like a baby, but come on, there is no way he is hiding a baby this long, without a farmer finding a birth certificate for the little chud.

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

Gonna play the devil's advocate. Perhaps since they share walls with neighbors, he's just hearing the next family over who lives a normal non-gout related life.

 

[Pargon]

Gonna play the devil's advocate. Perhaps since they share walls with neighbors, he's just hearing the next family over who lives a normal non-gout related life.

That, or Jasper. Even with the volume cranked it's very faint and cat yowling (or caterwauling) can sometimes sound like baby babbling.

EDIT: here's a video with a similarly faint sound to illustrate what I mean:

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

Someone checking for a birth certificate? We need our top autists on the case

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

Alternative theory, this is the first time is DSPs 11 year legacy where his internal monologue is audible on stream.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

I've listened to the boosted clip a couple times and I'm reasonably certain it's not a cat. I've owned a couple cats and so have like half of my friends and family and that doesn't sound like any cat I've ever encountered. I do agree that cats can often sound like babies, but in this case I really don't think it's a cat.

Doesn't mean it's Phil's baby, though; could be a neighbor's.

 

[tzgnilki]

my only issue with the baby being the neighbour's, we would've had dsp complaining about it by now

but then there's the issue of who's looking after that baby while DSP argues with trolls on his couch and khet's "at work", his breaks seem to always be consistent

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

If there really was a baby he would have been using it to get as many donations as possible. Would it have had to have gone on the bankruptcy forms, even if she was just expecting?

 

[lavrentiyberia]

I have to admit the instant, awkward, unconvincing ‘fridge noise’ excuse gives this theory more plausibility than it otherwise deserves

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I think it sounds like a baby. I don't think it is Phil's because if he had a kid he likely would have claimed it as a dependent on his bankruptcy papers. He did lie about a lot of stuff but I don't think he would lie about a baby. Wouldn't being able to claim a child help his bankruptcy case?

 

[tzgnilki]

If there really was a baby he would have been using it to get as many donations as possible. Would it have had to have gone on the bankruptcy forms, even if she was just expecting?

yeah there was a section for children and it was blank, idk if he would have to mention whether or not she was pregnant

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

Yeah if it was a baby, it probably was one of Khet's coworker's or something like that.

Phil would've been m.lking a pregnancy/baby and there were also no indication on the bankruptcy papers for it.

 

[JamFlowMan]

I have to admit the instant, awkward, unconvincing ‘fridge noise’ excuse gives this theory more plausibility than it otherwise deserves

Yeah but Phil being awkward and unconvincing also had people believing he hired a dutch hooker.

 

[gh0stzero]

Will loud fridge now be considered a detractor meme?

 

[Banned in 49 States]

Sadly I think it's Jasper locked in a room while Khet is away. Cat makes some really weird sounds when in distress.

Kids playing outside would drive him into boomer rant about kids spreading corona virus and should stay indoors, and neighbour baby crying would have him complain all day and all night on stream and twitter.

 

[Jack Awful]

I have to admit the instant, awkward, unconvincing ‘fridge noise’ excuse gives this theory more plausibility than it otherwise deserves

To be fair, if it could, DSP's fridge would probably cry a lot.

 

[der rademacher]

Gonna play the devil's advocate. Perhaps since they share walls with neighbors, he's just hearing the next family over who lives a normal non-gout related life.

Personally, I hope it's a co-worker of Kat with her kid coming over for a visit (as stupid this would be with the macarena virus around) or a family walking by outside. If it's the neighbors baby and can be heard by us even through Dave's shitty headset mic, then imagine what the poor neighbors must go through everyday with his daily spergings and rants yelling at the screen and his audience. Makes one wish his next neighbor goes by the name of Walt Kowalski.

 

[strandedcastaway]

For those of you who don't have cats, I'm not saying it's a cat, but it could be a cat outside the room whining to be let in.

The main argument against there being a secret Phil baby: he whines about literally everything that disrupts his "routine". Do you think Phil went through nine months of Khet being miserable, taking her to doctor's appointments, paying for shit for the baby's room, buying stuff for the future baby, etc. and never once used it as an opportunity to complain or ask for money, even when he was drunk half the nights? That's not the DSP I know.

 

[tzgnilki]

baby was heard crying on 25th March cod stream posted here, thought to maybe bring the discussion here to save the general thread being spammed

theories:

Spoiler

a neighbour

proximity mic

radio/tv/game from khet's room, adjacent to the manbaby cave

cat howling

baby crying as a ringtone

better clip

 

[LyteSydeByll]

Holy fuck, lol. Yeah, there actually is a baby crying somewhere.



Here's a clip with the volume upped by +24 dB (turn up your own volume as well if you still can't hear it).

Baby noises crying CoD Warzone.mp4
















Could be coming from outside/somewhere in his neighborhood - maybe he had his "office" window open. But hey, w're talking about a dood who asked $1,000 to reveal he bought a cat months earlier, so who the fuck knows anymore what else he might be hiding at any given time, right?

DSP last night did say he had "something special to announce" last night.

Could he be introducing the baby to the stream?