The "Is Kat Pregnant" speculation thread - MichaelScottShoutingNo.GIF

[Muppetmode]

I can’t remember if Phil has ever said he can’t afford a kid. I know he’s denied wanting one but I don’t think he’s outright said he can’t afford it and has said jasper is basically the same. But With jasper, he was adamant about not being able to afford a cat. Though like bowling said he did drop a bunch of hints like going to the pet store and shit

 

[tzgnilki]

I can’t remember if Phil has ever said he can’t afford a kid. I know he’s denied wanting one but I don’t think he’s outright said he can’t afford it and has said jasper is basically the same. But With jasper, he was adamant about not being able to afford a cat. Though like bowling said he did drop a bunch of hints like going to the pet store and shit

i'm sure he has said he couldn't afford a child

 

[thedingledongle]

his kid would probably be gay

"I think muh kid might actually be gay!"

 

[harbinger]

I can’t remember if Phil has ever said he can’t afford a kid. I know he’s denied wanting one but I don’t think he’s outright said he can’t afford it and has said jasper is basically the same. But With jasper, he was adamant about not being able to afford a cat. Though like bowling said he did drop a bunch of hints like going to the pet store and shit

Philip with the Oddly Shaped Head has said “my family” a number of times in the last few months. It could be a hint of sorts. Though I understand a child could be used as leverage in begging, he (and possibly Kat also) are paranoid about “protecting” his “family”. If a kid is involved, I suspect it was born months ago.

 

[actually]

If a kid is involved, I suspect it was born months ago.

Kids are expensive as fuck, though. If he was in anywhere near as much debt as he alludes to, he'd be struggling waaaaay harder. Kat would also not be at work while Phil was streaming. TBH, he'd also look even more tired than usual, even if he wasn't helping with feeding and diaper changes at night. The little fuckers will 100% wake you up multiple times a night, especially when they're new. We're talking every couple of hours.

Plus, he'd be using that kid as his new rattlin' can to generate money pretty much on demand.

 

[Opiophile]

Plus, he'd be using that kid as his new rattlin' can to generate money pretty much on demand.

This is the biggest red flag to me. He knows people would fork over tons of cash if he told them he can't afford diapers and baby food for his gout ridden baby boy.

 

[Kheapathic]

This is the biggest red flag to me. He knows people would fork over tons of cash if he told them he can't afford diapers and baby food for his gout ridden baby boy.

And I'd be right there telling him to buy cloth diapers and have his "soulmate" do laundry and use her tits to feed the little pig.

 

[Sphadilcastro]

TBH, he'd also look even more tired than usual, even if he wasn't helping with feeding and diaper changes at night. The little fuckers will 100% wake you up multiple times a night, especially when they're new. We're talking every couple of hours.

He could just sleep in another room. But if he had a baby at some point it would be heard crying on his streams. Didn't people hear jasper's bells before the reveal?

 

[Schmeckel]

I can’t remember if Phil has ever said he can’t afford a kid. I know he’s denied wanting one but I don’t think he’s outright said he can’t afford it and has said jasper is basically the same. But With jasper, he was adamant about not being able to afford a cat. Though like bowling said he did drop a bunch of hints like going to the pet store and shit

He couldn't afford a cat. He couldn't afford to get married. He couldn't afford to go see his (not) dying parents. There's a lot that Phil can't afford, yet still winds up having/getting. It's almost as if Phil lies about things all the time.

 

[tzgnilki]

He could just sleep in another room. But if he had a baby at some point it would be heard crying on his streams. Didn't people hear jasper's bells before the reveal?

some autist would've found a birth certificate by now

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

some autist would've found a birth certificate by now

If they have the kid in King County, yes, very easily.

But, Phil may have to travel across the country to protect his family again.

 

[Schmeckel]

If they have the kid in King County, yes, very easily.

But, Phil may have to travel across the country to protect his family again.

Depending on how far along she would be, how would they get elsewhere for her to shit out the pig prince? Some airlines require you to have some sort of medical waiver in order to fly once you're really super pregnant and your flight is over a certain number of hours. If flying is out of the question? Who is driving? Is it the nearly bursting horse while the pig sprawls out in the back seat since his back is utterly atrocious and can't handle highway travel? Or is the Gout king gonna suck it up and learn how cruise control works and drive his mare somewhere to give birth?

*IF* the Khet is prego, there's no way he's traveling more than 10 minutes to have the crotch goblin delivered. It wouldn't at all surprise me if he dragged his feet when the water broke and they had to rely on some local firefighters to deliver the little satyr at home because there was nothing he could do.

 

[Prince Lotor]

Can you imagine Kathy having to drive herself to the hospital while Phil the Galactic pussy cowers in the passenger seat sniveling about, 'I think my heart's starting to beat faster! Oh my god, were going almost 40mph! Yeah, my chest is starting to tighten up, can you slow down?'

They might even have to call an ambulance just to take her to the hospital, and of course she'd have to ride alone because Phil would soil himself if he had to ride along as a passenger with his wife in an ambulance.

If they had gone through a childbirth you would see at least two weeks of rants out of a harrowed Phil about how incredibly traumatic it was for him and then he would randomly rant about it forever anytime his kid was brought up.
If this ever happens The King of Suffering will surely cry about it loud and clear from his cross up on the highest hill.

 

[WeeblesWobble]

Can you imagine Kathy having to drive herself to the hospital while Phil the Galactic pussy cowers in the passenger seat sniveling about, 'I think my heart's starting to beat faster! Oh my god, were going almost 40mph! Yeah, my chest is starting to tighten up, can you slow down?'

They might even have to call an ambulance just to take her to the hospital, and of course she'd have to ride alone because Phil would soil himself if he had to ride along as a passenger with his wife in an ambulance.

If they had gone through a childbirth you would see at least two weeks of rants out of a harrowed Phil about how incredibly traumatic it was for him and then he would randomly rant about it forever anytime his kid was brought up.
If this ever happens The King of Suffering will surely cry about it loud and clear from his cross up on the highest hill.

"Was it two hours in labor? No. 3 hours? No. 4, 5, 17 hours? Noooo! 26 hours in labor!!!! At one point I asked a nurse who was randomly walking around how much longer and she said she didn't know what I was talking about. She had no idea!!!"

Yeah, childbirth is too juicy for him to keep secret. Although it's still possible and I would be impressed if he could keep it secret, I highly doubt he would be able to not shove the baby on stream day one to milk a few more sheckls.

 

[metroid_fetish]

Phil's semen couldn't find their way through a simple corridor dungeon, let alone barrier skip inside of the egg.

 

[tzgnilki]

"Was it two hours in labor? No. 3 hours? No. 4, 5, 17 hours? Noooo! 26 hours in labor!!!! At one point I asked a nurse who was randomly walking around how much longer and she said she didn't know what I was talking about. She had no idea!!!"

Yeah, childbirth is too juicy for him to keep secret. Although it's still possible and I would be impressed if he could keep it secret, I highly doubt he would be able to not shove the baby on stream day one to tard cum a few more sheckls.

I can honestly see phil going to the abortion clinic then leaving cause there's a $99 fee (just made the fee up, I have no idea)

then trying to give his kid up for adoption, realising it's not free & he doesn't get paid, then just giving up and telling his audience that he's excited but needs help

I wouldn't be surprised if he shipped his child off to be raised by his grand parents, then taking all the credit when the child turns out not to be an asshole

 

[Preferred Penne]

Can you imagine Kathy having to drive herself to the hospital while Phil the Galactic pussy cowers in the passenger seat sniveling about, 'I think my heart's starting to beat faster! Oh my god, were going almost 40mph! Yeah, my chest is starting to tighten up, can you slow down?'

They might even have to call an ambulance just to take her to the hospital, and of course she'd have to ride alone because Phil would soil himself if he had to ride along as a passenger with his wife in an ambulance.

If they had gone through a childbirth you would see at least two weeks of rants out of a harrowed Phil about how incredibly traumatic it was for him and then he would randomly rant about it forever anytime his kid was brought up.
If this ever happens The King of Suffering will surely cry about it loud and clear from his cross up on the highest hill.

Fuck that, just give her a pill and leave her on the side of the road.

 

[Wurstbrot]

I wouldn't be surprised if he shipped his child off to be raised by his grand parents, then taking all the credit when the child turns out not to be an asshole

The baby is wrongly assembled, it broke after just an hour. I tried to send it back via Amazon but the truck is stuck in half an inch of snow. Which is my day off, worst snow of the decade, can't get to work.

But for real, if there is a baby he would go in "MAH FAMILY" overdrive and constantly moan how much work it is for an adult mature intelligent person, his immature childish detractors would not understand that. A baby trophy is really amazing, but he can't show it, it's private and trolls would doxx the 2 weeks old baby and say mean things.

Then he describes all the stress he receives since birth in detail, how bad it is for his schedule and how Khet solely solves everything while he basically just moans and flees to his videogames asap.

 

[Wurstbrot]

My Theo-theory is his authentic religious mother forced them to marry ASAP as soon as Khet had a confirmed piglet. They married on April 10, 2019. The same day the last remaining photo of Khet was posted on Instagram (ignoring this dead person in a chair).

January 28 (?) Phil calls himself the father of Jasper. How odd.



How long ago was their marriage?



I wonder if background noises will change in the next days.

However, if there is a baby it could still be in hospital, maybe even for some weeks. Depends on the circumstances.

Maybe even his mother is in the house for this reason. He called Khet her mother in the last week when he explained what mo... Khet was cooking.

 

[Kosher Dill]

How long ago was their marriage?

Even if Kat were pregnant (spoiler alert: she's not) they wouldn't have known about it the instant Tyrone Jr. was conceived. Unless Kat was constantly getting pregnancy tests after every roll in the hay with her blackamoors, she probably wouldn't notice at least till she missed a period. And it probably took at least a week or two to arrange the wedding. I don't see a hypothetical shotgun wedding taking place till at least a month after conception.