When you think about it, Britain's actions in india were just anti-colonial results of ancestral memories of danegeld.
A top-hatted, suitwearing
Englishman walks into the Lego HQ, drops his trousers, and sprays last night's Fishn'Chippa & Guinness** all over the promotional Lego bins.
He exclaims, while loudly deficating,
"TOP O' THE MORNING SIRS! I work for Google's fraud detection bureau and I have some very unfortunate news...
unless, you have GooglePlay gift cards that might be procured... perhaps in an...
unredeemed state *wink wink*
Spotting an attractive white woman sprinting from the lobby, he shuffles after her, dripping diarrhea.
"MADAM WAIT! I know you simply CANNOT resist my accent! If you would, for just a moment, let me ask you a question... my sweet and beautiful baby girl. Could you please send a picture of your vagina to my mobile phone??? I beseech you!"
The woman doesn't slow at any point, despite the pleading, bolting deeper into the office and under a desk.
Startlingly, the
Englishman shifts posture, no longer bowing and scraping, and flies into a desperate rage.
"YOU BITCH! YOU WHOOOOOORE! How dare you, I am a lord back in my
country, *gasping breath* I could purchase your whole family and force them to toil away in my lead mine! I'd work the SKIN from your HANDS! You'd never again gaze upon the SKY! I'd have you begging for a single suck of my large, ape-like member!"
*profuse huffing*
"No matter... I'd wager your mother is a prostitute anyway... like all of your misbegotten kind.
England will be counted among the world's superpowers soon and you will regret the day you refused an
Englishman of my stature!
In short, FUCK YOU BLOODY"
The
Englishman swiftly runs his left hand between his buttocks, much like swiping a credit card, and casually flicks the detritus onto a nearby legoid. Now speckled and with mouths agape, they watch him stomp out.
"When I return, I expect all manners of giftcard to be proffered, lest you rouse my anger, and the anger of my
countrymen, any further. You wouldn't want...
more... of
us to immigrate here, would you?"
At the utterance "more", he ejects a vicious cloud of tikka-masala gas into the lobby. Any not incapacitated by the fumes are met with a wicked grin.
The Danes know their fate... the fate of all colonizers! To be exploited and enslaved. That is the most they can hope for, as they deserve far worse.
**Guinness is the most popular beer in engerland despite being Irish. Who hasn't colonized England at this point?