The challenges of being non-binary in a closed-minded society
OPINION: People should not feel the need to tell me that my non-binary identity isn't real, and my experience is not valid because of science.
i.stuff.co.nz
Are you a girl or a boy? The classic question that we answer throughout our lives.
A question based on the word you were assigned when you were born. A word that was assigned to you based on key biological differences that are backed up by concrete science. Or is it?
It is commonplace to use anatomy and chromosomes to define sex, as it is believed that these factors are definitive symptoms of either sex.
In response to transgender people coming out, some transphobes like to use the term ‘basic biology’ to argue that their identity is not valid, their sex is definitive, and has a strict set of guidelines on definition.
However, if we were to look at advanced biology, we would see that there are not only conditions where females are born with XY chromosomesand males are born with XX chromosomes. There are also mutations in which someone’s anatomy doesn’t fit inside the standard, prescribed to either gender.
Even normal brain anatomy shows that a transgender person has a brain structure more like the gender they identify as, rather than the sex they were assigned at birth.
There are all these holes in the way we prescribe someone’s sex, and yet, despite large consequences, we still use this system.
Imagine being assigned the wrong sex. Imagine your brain screaming at you that something is wrong, that your body is wrong, your life is wrong.
That is the experience for a lot of transgender people. Yet, we keep throwing all these biological terms at them, telling them that they are wrong, and that the science works.
Some even operate on intersex children to try and prove to themselves that something is wrong with them, not our science.
Now, due to this unwavering belief in this system, we have created something called the gender binary. This is like binary code, where something is a one or a zero.
You are classified as either a man or a woman, being either male or female.
People that sit outside this binary, like me, cannot have their identity recognised as their sex.
So, non-binary people have a sex that doesn’t align with their identity, which seems harmful.
Like trans men or trans women, non-binary people also experience dysphoria (discomfort) with their physical characteristics that don’t align with their identity, and constantly being reminded that they are biologically female or male can exacerbate the issue.
Even if non-binary people were OK with this constant reminder, some health providers and schools confuse sex and gender, so when a non-binary person is required to fill out a form or enrol in a program, they usually must begrudgingly indicate their gender identity incorrectly.
This reinforces the anxiety and dysphoria on a day-to-day basis.
In my own experience, it is our gendered society that is the main cause of my dysphoria.
I have to constantly think about how I want to be perceived each day, and how my clothing and hairstyle will make me be perceived.
I used to wish that I was androgynous. I hated my feminine features and long hair, but then I realised that I don't have to change how I look for people to use my pronouns. Society must change.
The fact that I must pretend to be a cis woman whenever I go to church for my own safety is not right.
The fact that I get nervous when my friends use my pronouns around other people, because I am scared that others will find out and judge me is not right.
I shouldn't be made to feel invisible at school because teachers refuse to use gender-neutral terms.
I have a right to live my life without constant fear and discomfort. Being non-binary shouldn't mean that I don't have the same rights as someone that is cis-gendered.
Other people should not feel the need to tell me that my identity isn't real, that my experience is not valid because of science. However, this is the society that we are living in, a society that has been created around the majority. A society that needs to change.
Changing societal rules is hard as they are wedged steadfast in our brains.
A recent experience of mine is a perfect example of the stubbornness of our binary society.
I tried to get my school to change the gender they assigned to me on my student profile. I asked my dean to email the person in charge of student information and this person responded that I needed legal documentation, and that they have never seen non-binary written on a birth certificate.
This email triggered my dysphoria and I spiralled into thinking I needed reassignment surgeries just to have my gender acknowledged.
Having this experience at a school I love and feel safe at really hurt. My teachers tried their best to get my pronouns right, and were really accepting.
I assumed that because the school accepted my preferred pronouns, they would also change the way my gender was classified, but I underestimated people's reluctance to change the system.
Some people like structure and rules, even if they are outdated and discriminatory. It is disappointing how we stick to what we are comfortable with, despite it negatively impacting other people.
From the other perspective, using binary sex indicators is an easy and efficient way to register people. Trying to accommodate a spectrum of chromosomal and anatomical differences on forms is a complex process that would require a sophisticated solution.
While this is an explanation for our current state, it is not a good justification to continue this practice.
Another possible reason for keeping this outdated system of identification is because it's been around for a long time, and if there was a problem with it, wouldn’t we have changed it a while ago?
This justification is very weak, as trans identities weren’t acknowledged until recently, so according to historical beliefs, everyone identified with their sex.
Anyway, more than two possible sex identifiers have been around far longer. Since at least 4BC, in fact,
This is proven by the fact that in Plato's Symposium, it is said that there were three original sexes: female, male, and androgynous.
While current systems try to make life easier for most people, there is still a large group of people adversely affected by a binary classification.
While we encourage our children to be true to themselves, and their identity, our systems seem to say the opposite.
Actions speak louder than words, and our hesitation to make a change seems to show that we are not fully committed to allowing people to be themselves.
