🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Constellationzero]

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SUNFLOWER SEEDS and CHORIZO??? Oy fucking VEY!

You realize people who eat this stuff have Jillian "waterfalls" on the reg.

Pressing F. for Jolene, Bowie, and the toilet.

EDIT: Just checked out the site's example meals. Holy Shit. Tess IS NOT going to last two days. This is bona fide Instathot "vegan" aesthetic food. So you know extra sheet cakes will be forthcoming.

 

[Water-T]

Sp much for social

SUNFLOWER SEEDS and CHORIZO??? Oy fucking VEY!

You realize people who eat this stuff have Jillian "waterfalls" on the reg.

Pressing F. for Jolene, Bowie, and the toilet.

I think it's supposed to be a "chorizo" made from sunflower seeds instead of meat.

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

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plz god let tess feel even more hungry so she eats more and gains even more weight, never let her lose a pound. Amen.
I buckled up for a FA shit show not a weight loss journey disguised behind animal rights or wtv.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Who the hell is paying for this shit? $420 a WEEK? Surely that is way out of Tess's budget. It's the kind of stuff you need to be in a higher tax bracket for, one Tess certainly isn't in.

Does she think she'll lose weight eatting like this? You know, the Tess way, eating the food on the plan AND her champagne cakes and endless sugary snacks?

 

[JambledUpWords]

plz god let tess feel even more hungry so she eats more and gains even more weight, never let her lose a pound. Amen.
I buckled up for a FA shit show not a weight loss journey disguised behind animal rights or wtv.

This is from the Sakara website:

 

[multiverse]

plz god let tess feel even more hungry so she eats more and gains even more weight, never let her lose a pound. Amen.
I buckled up for a FA shit show not a weight loss journey disguised behind animal rights or wtv.

I don't even think this requires a prayer. She's failed every single time she's ever tried to meal plan or portion her food. She's one of those who breaks the second they're bored, angry, anxious, happy - or, if she sees or thinks about food that is appealing to her.

She will also not consider coffee milkshakes, "snacks", soda, alcohol, weed food, or really anything she eats outside of the meal plan to be cheating.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

That's some downright seductive sounding woo right there

 

[Salubrious]

I don't think I was spending $420 a month on food when I was buying bulk packs of chicken at $1.99/lb, ground beef at $2.99/lb, and strip steaks at $7.49/lb (pre corona prices).

Tess is spending this in a WEEK on bullshit food.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I don't think I was spending $420 a month on food when I was buying bulk packs of chicken at $1.99/lb, ground beef at $2.99/lb, and strip steaks at $7.49/lb (pre corona prices).

Tess is spending this in a WEEK on bullshit food.

The meal plan is all plant based too, so there’s no meat. Spending that much on food only to not buy meat seems like a waste.

Also, I’m pretty sure that some people that make six figure salaries don’t spend that much on food per week. Despite being “for the people” as Tess claims to be, she couldn’t have chosen a more out of touch meal plan.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

I don't think I was spending $420 a month on food when I was buying bulk packs of chicken at $1.99/lb, ground beef at $2.99/lb, and strip steaks at $7.49/lb (pre corona prices).

Tess is spending this in a WEEK on bullshit food.

Right? I'd expect Kobe steaks and a side order of caviar for that amount. It's utterly nuts. Also the sperging about calories in their copy is .. ugh. Yes, we all know there's more nutrition in broccoli than soda, but you still cannot get around the fact that fat loss requires a consistent calorie deficit. As for the 16 year-old 'study' they cite ... ffs.

 

[Local Fed]

I don't think I was spending $420 a month on food when I was buying bulk packs of chicken at $1.99/lb, ground beef at $2.99/lb, and strip steaks at $7.49/lb (pre corona prices).

Tess is spending this in a WEEK on bullshit food.

When I did groceries the other day (I do a big grocery run maybe once every three weeks and I don't get vitamins or body wash very often like I did on this trip) I bought things including a 20 pack of yogurts, a 3lb bag of frozen chicken breasts, a pack of sausages, two bags of shredded Tex Mex cheese, two containers of feta cheese, two large frozen pizzas, two cans of corned beef, spinach, mushrooms, an onion, a tomato, a 0.5lb bag of frozen cherries, beef jerky for a nice snack and some other food. All totalled (and I'm not using USD) it was like $230. Outside of that I'll head over to my local farmer's market once every week and a half to pick up a few fresh items like a tomato, a cucumber, etc. and it typically is less than $10 a trip. In total groceries are maybe like $225-$250 per month in USD for me (and I could easily cut out some treats like picking up jerky, etc. if I needed to) and I'm not sitting ar around 400lb or whatever she is.

Edit: I know it's TMI, but the waste of money like she's doing pisses me off as much as anything. For all of her BLM sperging and calls to donate she could have been buying smarter and using that leftover money (that evidently she doesn't need) elsewhere.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

This meal plan fits Tess' way of thinking.

Dieting is bad! CICO is bad! Diet soda is bad! It's not your fault you're fat!

And I didn't spend that much on food when I had teenage boys in the house.

 

[Water-T]

Who the hell is paying for this shit? $420 a WEEK? Surely that is way out of Tess's budget. It's the kind of stuff you need to be in a higher tax bracket for, one Tess certainly isn't in.

Does she think she'll lose weight eatting like this? You know, the Tess way, eating the food on the plan AND her champagne cakes and endless sugary snacks?

Tess seems deluded enough to think that eating "healthy" stuff like that means she can still shovel sheet cakes and not exercise, and not keel over from a heart attack by year's end.

 

[Salubrious]

Granted this is from 2018 so pre-corona, but I want to show you roughly what you can get for $420 ($485 in this video).

 

[JambledUpWords]

Edit: I know it's TMI, but the waste of money like she's doing pisses me off as much as anything. For all of her BLM sperging and calls to donate she could have been buying smarter and using that leftover money (that evidently she doesn't need) elsewhere.

I understand where you’re coming from and I agree wholeheartedly. Also, if Tess were smart, she’d be using quite a bit of that money towards a savings account. I’m guessing that this is how Tess spends:

1. Get money from whatever gig or sponsorship
2. Quickly spend it on the most pointless junk and not put any away towards savings and necessities
3. Realizes she’s out of money for necessities, so she goes into credit card debt (she may be couch surfing, but she still has food to pay for)
4. Still wants more pointless junk and spends more (thus creating more credit card debt)
5. Eagerly awaits for the next sponsored post and passes time by woke posting to get attention
6. Repeat over and over

Tess seems deluded enough to think that eating "healthy" stuff like that means she can still shovel sheet cakes and not exercise, and not keel over from a heart attack by year's end.

The Sakara meal plan reminds me of Amberlynn’s failed Optavia diet. At least Optavia was cheaper. The Sakara meal plan looks like robbery for how much money it takes (it’s $80 per day).

 

[Angry New Ager]

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All those single-use plastic containers, to feed a stupid, narcissistic deathfatty an overpriced diet she's just going to fail at anyway. F.

The produce section, Tess; it exists. But then she'd have to stand for more than 5 minutes at a time to wash and chop and maybe cook all of those veggies, and we all know what a super-busy moddle and doting and engaged mother she is. Where is she going to find the time to shop and prep and cook her own food?

Yeah, that was sarcasm. But if she can't manage to make simple, nutritious meals from whole ingredients for herself, that means she sure as shit ain't doing it for Bowie. He's probably lucky to get those dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets and spaghetti from a can.

This is from the Sakara website:
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That is some powerful fucking woo. I LOL'ed IRL.

I don't think I was spending $420 a month on food when I was buying bulk packs of chicken at $1.99/lb, ground beef at $2.99/lb, and strip steaks at $7.49/lb (pre corona prices).

Tess is spending this in a WEEK on bullshit food.

If she sticks with it, and doesn't buy anything else (Starbeetus drinks, booze, vegan cupcakes), she will spend $1680/month to feed herself. That's a full six months of groceries for me, and I don't even pinch pennies that hard any more. That's more than my mortgage payments were, FFS. (Sorry for the PL, but my god, that level of financial irresponsibility just unleashes it.)

Where is she getting the money for this? WHERE IS SHE GETTING THE MONEY FOR THIS?! Because a semi-homeless, washed-up piece of obese white trash is hardly Sakara's target market. This shit is for affluent women who either don't have time to cook for themselves due to demanding careers, or else affluent leisure-class women who don't want to prep their own meals and are bored with whatever they've been eating. This stuff is for the Goop crowd, women who might pay public lip-service to the "brave" fatty, but would privately recoil in horror at the idea of having anything in common with Tess. And the women who are like Tess, and who actually admire her, don't have this kind of money; they just don't.

If Sakara is sponsoring her--and they must be, if she's shilling their products--it's one of the most baffling moves they could make. Tess won't lose any weight by eating their food, because it's nothing she actually wants to eat, so once she gets sick of it she'll just end up eating whatever she wants and leaving those meals to rot in Jolene's fridge. This is a mayotanker who can eat an entire cake on her own with no trouble--no way is she going to be satisfied with this plant-based skinny-bitch cuisine. It's just not happening.

And if they aren't sponsoring her, then who is paying for it? Because it can't possibly be her. If she had that kind of money at her disposal, she'd get a goddamned place to live, already.

I am seriously baffled by this.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

They have to be sponsoring her. No fucking way she would buy that willingly.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Had a poke around the Sakara site, and they have a supplement deal add-on which is $120 a month, for what is basically 6 pills per day - fish oil, a multi, some B vitamins, some probiotics and other crap that can be bought collectively for a lot less than that.

The founders are Whitney and Danielle, two youngish, thin, very white, very blonde, very GOOP-ish types.

It's pretty obvious the whole thing - Vogue testamonials and all - is aimed at very rich, white, orthorexic women who worry about clean eating and 'toxins', have a penchantt for woo, and may want to shed those extra ten pounds to fit into a size 0 - not poors who need to shed 250lb or die. I'd be shocked if they felt the need to get Tess to shill this stuf given her fanbase is not generally in the income bracket that can afford it, but maybe times are hard business-wise?

 

[DefCon Dumb]

But, but... if it's such a great eating program with SUPERFOODS, why would supplementation be needed?

 

[JambledUpWords]

Had a poke around the Sakara site, and they have a supplement deal add-on which is $120 a month, for what is basically 6 pills per day - fish oil, a multi, some B vitamins, some probiotics and other crap that can be bought collectively for a lot less than that.

The founders are Whitney and Danielle, two youngish, thin, very white, very blonde, very GOOP-ish types.

It's pretty obvious the whole thing - Vogue testamonials and all - is aimed at very rich, white, orthorexic women who worry about clean eating and 'toxins', have a penchantt for woo, and may want to shed those extra ten pounds to fit into a size 0 - not poors who need to shed 250lb or die. I'd be shocked if they felt the need to get Tess to shill this stuf given her fanbase is not generally in the income bracket that can afford it, but maybe times are hard business-wise?

They also have a shop as well that sells stuff like this: