I think some folks misunderstood...I'm not quitting playing here on the POE...I just do not intend to trade insults anymore. It just doesn't make me happy, and I don't think I am very good at it. That's all.
I think I got the easiest to understand answer to my question from Bitwize, with his MST3K, Ed Wood references. I loved MST3K and so I think I see that most of the folks on POE feel that they may be enjoying the earnest awfulness of websites in the same way Joel, and then Mike and the Bots 'enjoyed' many awfully earnest movies.
I guess that did not occur to me because, well, so much of the material here isn't really very funny, at least to me. It is more just kind of...bitter.
As may be.
I would like to address a number of issues folks have with me, all at once, if I may.
First off the issue of being 'special'. I seem to see a lot of folks ragging on me because of this concept, so maybe I should explain myself.
I do think I am 'special'...BUT...I also think anyone who creates, makes, invents, dreams, wonders, and questions, is also 'special'. The people I do not think are 'special' -by which I mean exceptional- are those that do none of these things. I think these things are very important.
An 'unspecial' person in my view is the person who does not question what they are told, who follows the party line, who does not think for themselves, who never bothers to use their creativity, who never tries to achieve any dreams, who never wonders about reality, life, and generally strange concepts and questions, and who, even worse, is proud of the fact of this.
I am convinced that every person has the ability to do all of these things, that every person has the capacity to strive beyond a robotic existence filled with unexamined thoughts. I do look down on anyone that settles for bland agreement with the common. I agree with Thomas Paine that it is the duty of every person to cultivate eccentricity, that such is the foundation of freedom and diversity.
In that respect, I am an elitist, but I am an elitist that considers anyone trying to be more than average, other than normal, is part of the elite. It is an elitism of individuality I support, and, in a world that savages the true individual and praises the conformist, I see nothing wrong with trying to counter the pressure to be ordinary.
I do not think I am particularly great within my own elitism, either. At most, I consider myself just trying to do my best. I know I am unusual in many respects, but I am not the most clever, or skilled, or even eccentric person by any means. I look up to so many people, and the only people I truly look down on are the ones who never bother to try.
I value intelligence and cleverness, this is true. But such things are for me relative. It is not upon some absolute that I judge this person creative and that person dull...rather is matters to me the intent, and the fact of pushing the envelope, trying ones best, making the most of what one has.
Now, at this point some wag will doubtless want to bring up my statements about inteligence numbers and creativity. According to what I have read on the matter of intelligence, there is the judgement that 'true creativity begins at 120 and above'. In some ways, I would agree with this, though I think the number itself is bogus...I think intelligence is far more complex than any one scale or system can represent...but I think there is clearly a powerful difference between the creativity of a clearly superior mind to an inferior one, and by 'superior' and 'inferior' I do NOT mean 'good' or 'bad', I mean capacity and function versus their lack. Some brains can do more than other brains, and however politically correct it may be to ignore this fact, it is nontheless real, whatever the merit of the various tests to determine it.
The creative effort of a very simple mind may well hold my interest more than the grand effort of a very complex mind, if I feel that the simple soul has put everything they have into what they have made, and the complex soul is just going through the motions. effort and intent matter to me, a very great deal, ultimately more than my enjoyment of intellectual ability.
So, 'being special' is not some magical thing for me, it really amounts to being daring enough to be eccentric and individual, making use of whatever abilities one has, and overall, making an effort to strive for something beyond bland complacent sloth.
Being 'special' when I use the word is not necessarily a compliment, though most often I mean it in a positive way. It is a statement of being Other than the average, beyond the norm, and I find that greatly admirable in -most- cases. At the very least, I respect it.
Another thing that I would like to address is that some people seem to feel that I consider myself superior for doing Unicorn Jelly, and that my talk of a 'Muse' and such is some attempt to promote myself.
I do not consider myself, or Unicorn Jelly to be terribly 'superior'. I am simply doing my best to do what I am compelled to do. I have no illusions that my artistic ability is great, or that my cleverness is brilliant, or that what I am doing is somehow the greatest thing ever. Enourmous numbers of people are far more capable, far more intelligent, far more stable, far wiser, far more educated, far more clever, and far more skilled than I ever will be, than I ever even -can- be.
As for my 'Muse', as I have explained over and over again, it is simply a label I use to try to explain a creative mechanism that is quite unusual to my own experience. I have never had anything like what is behind Unicorn Jelly happen to me before, I have nothing to compare it to that exactly fits, but it needs a name, and calling the phenomena my 'Muse' fits better than some long-winded attempt to define the experience every single time I refer to it. For all I know, what I am experiencing is common as can be...but it is novel to me. Totally effortless creativity that requires no thought and no planning, that is indeed better the less thought and planning I do, and which ultimately manufactures a long term, complex story that ends up having multiple layers of meaning is pretty novel -to me at least. What else am I supposed to call it?
Lastly, I am surprized that no one has asked me what I think of Unicorn Jelly. I would have figured that would have been an opportunity for a laugh rigth there. I will save you the trouble.
Although there are many things I wish I could do better with the work, and of course I wish I had more talent and skill, overall, I am proud of, and happy with, my own work. I think Unicorn Jelly is more than the sum of its parts, and has a value that transcends any one individual part. I do think the characters are interesting, and have a reality and a depth to them. I am very happy how personality and emotion is often conveyed without a single word of text, in pantomime, in silence, by image alone. I am not entirely satisfied with the art style I have choosen, but I would not suddenly change styles in mid work, because it would disrupt the feeling of the whole. I really like how the work as a whole has turned out, and I think it is good, and perhaps, even has brief glimpses of being great.
I do feel that Unicorn Jelly is unique, and that there is nothing else like it. That I am very happy with. The universe is unique and well developed, the details are satisfying, and overall, I am happy that I have gotten to do it. I believe in what I am doing, and value it. I would not keep doing it otherwise.
It could be better, and that little fault is mine, but I do the best I can, and that is enough. The story constantly surprises me, as I watch it unfold, and I look forward to reading it as I draw it every day.