🎨 Artcow Terry Reitz / JDR / Jennifer Diane Reitz / Chatoyance - The Original Crazy Tranny; Creator of The Conversion Bureau

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

If he was seconded out to a glowie role it probably wasn't CIA, it would be the then-DMA or NPIC, predecessors to today's NGIA/NGA/whatever they call it this week.

It is plausible that he just told his schizophrenic troon son that he was measuring rocks for the NGIA out of not-unreasonable fear that he'd leak like a sieve if he were told his dad's real job.

I know a little bit about these organizations, but not much. The NGIA does some ARCGIS work when the government needs it, and this helps deal with e.g. illegals and drug traffickers, but is there anything more exciting than that that Chatoyance might've been on about, or was it the usual self-aggrandization?

 

[Mikoyan]

It is plausible that he just told his schizophrenic troon son that he was measuring rocks for the NGIA out of not-unreasonable fear that he'd leak like a sieve if he were told his dad's real job.

I know a little bit about these organizations, but not much. The NGIA does some ARCGIS work when the government needs it, and this helps deal with e.g. illegals and drug traffickers, but is there anything more exciting than that that Chatoyance might've been on about, or was it the usual self-aggrandization?

If he was just a mapmaker with the USGS, then nothing at all. DMA which is now NGIA also makes maps. Maps are important, important things. The difference is those guys make maps off of not just normie geospatial and survey data but also fun stuff from spy satellites. USGS lending out a cartographer to those guys is far from out of the question but there's nothing seriously suspicious about it, especially during the Cold War. He was probably helping to put together maps of, at worst, North Vietnam.

 

[AnOminous]

She was once a millionaire, after selling the Happy Puppy website.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

She was once a millionaire, after selling the Happy Puppy website.

And blew it all away on literally worthless junk.

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

She was once a millionaire, after selling the Happy Puppy website.

The Chris Chan parallels keep coming. In both cases, these men had everything going for them at one point. Chris could have fucked Fiona, a willing boyfriend-free 18-howeveroldheisnow girl, kept going around making money off of Sonichu for the rest of his life, and been trollshielded by Null and a bunch of other former trolls for the rest of his life, with contingencies set up so that he could continue living at 14 B.C. until his inevitable heart attack at the age of 100. He had literally every single thing he ever wanted, and instead of taking the W, he raped his geriatric mother and is now the pet of some autistic trust fund kid.

Likewise, Terry(?) could have lived the rest of his days as a millionaire having daily gay orgies if he had just put his cash in the Dow and dropped his resentment over not having been the guy to make No Mans Sky (which isn't even good, frankly, it's just bigger than it originally was). Instead, he's known as an insane MLP fanfiction writer kept out of the homeless shelter by his fat, gay, spineless, husband.

Both of these guys, after an autism-ravaged childhood, had life laid out for them on a red carpet, and both of them blew it for no discernable reason.

 

[Agares]

And blew it all away on literally worthless junk.

In a way, JDR was a preview of the worst Millenial stereotypes despite being an actual Boomer.

They're handling the SpaceEx IPO really well too. Terminally online reddit doomers always seethe at the average person for not chimping out over Current Thing.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

In a way, JDR was a preview of the worst Millenial stereotypes despite being an actual Boomer.
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They're handling the SpaceEx IPO really well too. Terminally online reddit doomers always seethe at the average person for not chimping out over Current Thing.

I see the magical human-shaped unicorn is immune from this judgement

 

[AnOminous]

Instead, he's known as an insane MLP fanfiction writer kept out of the homeless shelter by his fat, gay, spineless, husband.

Remember, Chris is famous not because of his talent, but because his talentlessness is so spectacular it made him famous. Chatoyance actually had the talent for mainstream success and instead wrote incredibly bizarre fanfics. If Chatty had simply repackaged Conversion Bureau as a standalone series instead of branding it as a fanfic (from which no profit could be made), in the way Fifty Shades of Grey originated, it could very well have had a cult following and been a source of income.

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

If Chatty had simply repackaged Conversion Bureau as a standalone series

The 'success' was controversy and discussion among MLP's established community. The internet isn't small enough for some weirdo's original setting stories to get any traction at all anymore.

 

[Agares]

I see the magical human-shaped unicorn is immune from this judgement

The magical human-shaped unicorn posts on Bluesky all the time, posts in the comments of a My Little Pony fanfiction site and went to multiple No Kings protests. It's done its part for the revolution!

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

and went to multiple No Kings protests.

Seen a few of those in my area. They were entirely composed of dysgenic geriatrics anyways, but I can't help but think that this freakshow would've dragged them down to a whole new level.


"Would you do me? I'd do me. I'd do me so hard."

 

[Mellorine]

If JDR had stuck with comics and not aimed his art solely at his personal clique of ass-patting fart huffers, I actually think he could have gotten somewhere. Unicorn Jelly wasn't good, but had an eye-catchingly weird art style, a satisfying amount of genuinely creative overly detailed lore, and enough obvious effort that I hesitate to label it truly bad. As outsider comic art along the lines of Henry Darger, I think it's actually worthy of note. The early-life comic strips done on paper while living in San Fran in the '80s are semi-interesting and readable as well. Everything that came after it, though, including Unicorn Jelly's sequel, Pastel Defender Heliotrope, was aimed squarely at the fart huffers of the now-defunct Unicorn Jelly Forums (and later Pony Conversion cultists), and thus absolutely sucks and has no redeeming artistic or bizarro value.

And blew it all away on literally worthless junk.

While JDR absolutely did blow his share of that million (that in theory would have been split between him, Sandra, and Stephen) on anime crap, Jenny has long claimed that the bulk of it was actually lost to bad investments in the form of pre-bubble dotcom stocks that went bust and bad real estate. I may be willing to believe that's how the others lost most of their money. I say this to segue towards the most mysterious web 1.0 site in the JDR portfolio, "oshores.com".

I think I once said that the official Kokoro Wish site was the only one of Jenny's urls that has ever been allowed to 404, but oshores.com was eventually taken down as well. What is it? As best I can tell, it was an attempt at portraying Grays Harbor Washington as a desirable tourist destination, in hand-coded-html style that looked extremely outdated even back then. The PoE consensus was that it had something to do with a house they owned and were hoping to rent or sell, but poking around it now, I really can't tell what the aim was. Especially for being so dry and normie but still sporting the Pastel Defender Heliotrope banner at the bottom.

"Would you do me? I'd do me. I'd do me so hard."

I remember the Unicorn Jelly Forumites losing their shit when JDR first posted this image, because "omg, I never before thought of our Creatrix as sexy!"

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

I remember the Unicorn Jelly Forumites losing their shit when JDR first posted this image, because "omg, I never before thought of our Creatrix as sexy!"

He had sycophants back then? How many? Did any of them become lolcows in their own right? I can imagine it was quite a horrorshow.

The early-life comic strips done on paper while living in San Fran in the '80s are interesting and readable as well.

The ten "Impossible Things Before Breakfast" comics, or were there others?

Especially for being so dry and normie but still sporting the Pastel Defender Heliotrope banner at the bottom.

Man, the Chris Chan parallels just keep coming. His OC stamp must be placed on every little unrelated thing that he does.

 

[Mellorine]

He had sycophants back then? How many? Did any of them become lolcows in their own right? I can imagine it was quite a horrorshow.

The official Unicorn Jelly forums were extremely active, though I'm not clear how large the userbase actually was. The forums went through a couple incarnations iirc, and various snapshots of the front page are on archive.org. The core clique seemed to have stuck around for a quite a few years, but for all the degeneracy the forums were mostly boring af to read, to the point that even PoE rarely delved deep. The only member I specifically recall was a fox diaper fur called Alfador who was given a cameo in one of the official Kokoro Wish screenshots.

The ten "Impossible Things Before Breakfast" comics, or were there others?

The Impossible Things Before Breakfast strips were made contemporaneously with PDH, post-Unicorn Jelly. I'm talking about the stuff he did much earlier in life, which he labels "Underground Comix" on Jenniverse.com

Like this one from 1982, around the time of his official transition into "Jennifer":



Or this undated one:

 

[Coolio55]

The only member I specifically recall was a fox diaper fur called Alfador who was given a cameo in one of the official Kokoro Wish screenshots.

Had a flashback to seeing this on a bonus page from the unmarked links at the bottom:

Seems that his website was linked: https://web.archive.org/web/20060708050237/http://www.alfador.8m.com/

Spoiler: big

He looks normal in this one...

I am so fucking pissed off that IA didn't archive this beautiful image:

My own answer to the WTC disaster. Alfador (who is as always © Brian Fallstrom) in a costume inspired by Magus of Chrono Trigger, standing in front of the ruins of the world trade center. This is the message to terrorists everywhere: We are Americans. Our government may not be the best in the world, but it is of the people, by the people, and for the people. You laugh at our Presidential scandals, but the office still commands respect. We have the freedom to bring such things out into the open. We were all created equal, but it is our learned determination that sets us apart. If you strike us down, we only become more powerful. We are Americans. We _are_ America. Do not SCREW with us.

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

I am so fucking pissed off that IA didn't archive this beautiful image:

Furries and post-9/11 patriotism (and military service) was an odd match but very frequent. Tribalism in general can offer weird guys a way to iron out their rough edges by throwing themselves into a greater identity.

I can imagine a healthier society, where instead of encouraging weird fetishes and Israeli wars, we offer strange young men an offramp into a military culture that's as all-consuming as the Corps, but much less tolerant of deviant behavior. Lots of freaks were once redeemable, and if society had a "join this club and we will make you a normal healthy person come hell or high water" option, I think it would get a lot of takers.

 

[AnOminous]

The 'success' was controversy and discussion among MLP's established community. The internet isn't small enough for some weirdo's original setting stories to get any traction at all anymore.

Bullshit. 50 shades of ghey worked just fine.

 

[The Gay Oboma Creature]

Bullshit. 50 shades of ghey worked just fine.

There's a huge difference between marketing a derivative of the most effective superstimulus foidslop in history to a demographic that's genetically programmed to consume it voraciously and marketing one insignificant MLP fanfic to a disparate collection of lunatics who would have no way of finding it without the MLP fandom.

You're trying to extrapolate trends in porn marketing to tell you something about trends in marketing underwater basket weaving lecture videos.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

Pretty wild how the venn diagram of people who'd get upset about this and people who got upset about Rotherham is two nonintersecting circles.

If they don't intersect it's an Euler diagram, not a Venn.

 

[Prehistoric Jazz]

I remember Boppin fondly from one of the disks or discs I had from KMart in the mid 90s; it was a timewaster of a puzzle game but it was interesting if nothing else. Certainly more fun than Dracula In London. I was happy to give Apogee my money back then. I might look into this new version of it, but I don't really want to support this mentally ill person.